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to be surprised at this level of snobbery?

(47 Posts)
aforestgrewandgrew Sat 15-Oct-16 10:47:43

I heard a colleague telling another all about her 5 year old DD's first school-friends birthday party.

She said "DD has this one friend, she loves her - she always runs up and cuddles her. But her mum's one of those Londsdale tracksuit types, you know. She says hi to me at school and I'm like errr hi " (looks down).

"I'm sooo pleased DD didn't ask for her to come to the party because then the mum would have had to come to my house! I'd have had to hide all my stuff!" - motions putting things away, then laughs. The joke in her laugh seemed to be the very idea that this woman might have been in her house.

WTAF?!!!

I can believe people believe such prejudices and think such nasty little thoughts in their heads. But to actually share these thoughts publicly is another level IMO. She seemed to assume that everyone would not only get her concerns but agree with her.

Please tell me this isn't normal? I've moved from an area where I was surrounded by my friends - lovely people from all walks of life - and so have probably cushioned from this kind of snobbery. Do lots of people really think like this in RL? i.e. that working class people who wear tracksuits must be trying to nick their stuff?

I'm in a mind to encourage a dress down Friday then come in, in a Londsdale tracksuit!

peppercold Sat 15-Oct-16 10:49:15

And nick her stuff grin

aforestgrewandgrew Sat 15-Oct-16 10:52:31

Haha spot on peppercold, I so should grin

TurnipCake Sat 15-Oct-16 10:58:19

My mum's friend is an unbelievable snob, I always have a bit of fun playing with her grin

aforestgrewandgrew Sat 15-Oct-16 11:07:11

Thinking about it, I wouldn't have been so shocked if she was from an older generation (is that me being prejudiced? Possibly!) but this woman is in her late 20s I think. I thought we'd moved on from that kind of attitude a bit?

aforestgrewandgrew Sat 15-Oct-16 11:08:51

TurnipCake maybe that's the approach I should take, less upset and outraged, more an opportunity to wind her up. It's not my usual approach but I can certainly see the appeal!

coffeetasteslikeshit Sat 15-Oct-16 11:10:53

I encountered this level of snobbery when I attended a red brick uni for my PhD. Really put me off staying on there once I'd finished. I always tell my DH, never underestimate how much the 'upper' classes look down on us.

BertrandRussell Sat 15-Oct-16 11:10:56

You can't have been on mumsnet long if this level of snobbery surprises you!

TurnipCake Sat 15-Oct-16 11:13:42

Oh please do, it's far more satisfying.

At a family event, she saw a ver naice car parked and asked if it was my OH's. I mentioned that it was, but we were trying not to attract too much attention as it was a stolen vehicle ;-)

dinosaursarebisexual Sat 15-Oct-16 11:14:24

You know what you have to do if you get her for Secret Santa.

AStreetcarNamedBob Sat 15-Oct-16 11:16:46

On the other hand the amount of REVERSE SNOBBERY I read and hear is just as surprising. There are arse holes in all walks of life.

Plenty of rich people think that anyone poor must be an arse. Purely because the don't have money.

Plenty of poor people think that anyone rich must be an arse. Purely because they have money.

It's not a snobbery issue in your op it's an arse hole issue.

aforestgrewandgrew Sat 15-Oct-16 11:19:42

BertrandRussell I've been here a fair few years now ...

But MN is different, people say things here they wouldn't dare say in RL. What surprised me was that she not only said it out loud, but seemed to have no awareness that it was a really dodgy thing to say and expected everyone listening to agree with her.

Prawnofthepatriarchy Sat 15-Oct-16 11:20:54

It seems to be something that appears in pockets. My DS went to different schools and while one was fine, the other was packed with parents who cared how much people's cars cost! The schools were in the same town.

Mind you, I'm a snob too. I look down on people who care about money, cars, etc.

wobblywonderwoman Sat 15-Oct-16 11:23:57

Loads of snobbery around. My sister in law is probably the worst and she has her daughters at the same type of comments. I rarely visit them as when we do she looks us up and down and checks the labels of coats (not very discreetly) I cannot stomach her company.

As it happens - we are a professional couple and she is not but but all on credit.

woowoowoo Sat 15-Oct-16 11:24:18

What a disgusting attitude! How judgemental.

The tracksuit wearing mum might be the most genuine, kind and thoughtful person you could meet. Yet she has been judged as a thief just because of her clothing. That is horrendous.

I certainly would not just stand by and agree with her if I was ever witness to such comments in future. I'd try to call her out on it by acting a bit dumb and asking the snobby mum, "Why would you need to hide your stuff if she came to your house? I don't get it." Make her explain herself to highlight how thoroughly judgemental she is.

I like the idea of playing on her snobbery too. I don't think I could be quick enough on the spot though. Can anyone suggest anything to say next time they hear such snobbery?

We are not all like that OP. My DC have friends from all walks of life and I embrace their differences.

fluffybaloon Sat 15-Oct-16 11:25:30

My DS had a great friend in his toddler/early days. The mum & I were friendly too, lunches & suppers with our DHs
DS went to local primary, friend went to fancy pants pre prep.

When he was 5 the friend had a birthday party but DS wasn't invited because 'he couldn't cope socially'.
The mum was surprised that our friendship was over.

Kennington Sat 15-Oct-16 11:28:44

I love a good snob. They are easy to trip up and completely bonkers.
I would laugh if anyone said that to me.

ollieplimsoles Sat 15-Oct-16 11:31:46

Oh mil is like this, a real hyacinth bucket type..its hilarious.

She moved into a pokey bungalow that she hated and moved out of within a year, because it had a favourable postcode.

She is now, regrettably, back in the 'common area' albeit right at the edge.

Imsickofnamechanging Sat 15-Oct-16 11:32:31

THIS spot on @*street ar*

Imsickofnamechanging Sat 15-Oct-16 11:33:04

@ streetcar

Imsickofnamechanging Sat 15-Oct-16 11:34:16

OP so what was the response of the listeners?

Imsickofnamechanging Sat 15-Oct-16 11:35:51

fluffy the mum told you your DS wasn't invited but he couldn't cope socially? Really?

aforestgrewandgrew Sat 15-Oct-16 11:41:25

The woman she was talking to hardly said anything. She was just
kinda smiling and nodding.

I couldn't tell if she agreed with her (but she seems really nice so I hope not!) or was just humouring her and actually thinking WFT?

fluffybaloon Sat 15-Oct-16 11:41:59

"We don't think DS will cope socially" were the exact words.

We've dined out on it for years, it's become a family joke. At the time I was furious.

kissmethere Sat 15-Oct-16 11:42:06

Not surprising at all I'm afraid. I've heard this a lot over the years. I moved from a very down to earth, real mix of people area to a very affluent area and the snobbery is astonishing sometimes.
Most recent was dds friends dm and I just couldn't gel with her. I overheard her talking to a friend of hers about someone who was selling something in the street during 2012 olympics. I saw the person, said no thanks to the tat they were selling and thought nothing of it. This mum was so nasty about the person I was disgusted with her. Totally put her down to her friend from head to toe. I justthought you're not my kind of person and if a street seller is beneath you than I prefer not not be in your company.

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