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Or is this woman at playgroup a bit rude?

(56 Posts)
Takosuke Thu 13-Oct-16 12:09:31

DD 18 months has only been walking since for 2-3 months and sometimes if she's tired/excited/concentrating etc she will stumble a little. I'm not concerned should I be?. Her coordination and development otherwise is spot on. I've just got back from playgroup where a particular lady (who I've never spoken to otherwise) has passed comments on this over the past few weeks, usually along the line of "have you had her ears checked?" and just generally noticing a bit more than I'd like if my child trips over some loose carpet. Up until now I've just been polite as much as I'd like to tell her to watch her own child and I'll look after mine thank you very much but today after somebody asked DD's name she told them it was "falls over a lot!" and had a little laugh. As I'm writing this I totally realise how stupid it is but I was seething after weeks of comments like this. WIBU to say something next time or am I being PFB (probably)?

Nigglenaggle Thu 13-Oct-16 12:14:54

Yanbu she is being mean/stupid but there's not much point in taking it up with her. Just ignore her. Likely there are others who realise she's foolish but are too polite to say. Try and make conversation with someone nicer.

Glittered Thu 13-Oct-16 12:15:16

Omg how rude is she! I can't believe she said that.
Don't bother acknowledging her ever again, and refer to her as 'woman who is rude a lot'

user1476140278 Thu 13-Oct-16 12:29:07

Why is she asking if you've had her ears checked? confused because she stumbles sometimes? Sorry if I'm being a bit dim...I can't see the relationship between the two.

LyndaNotLinda Thu 13-Oct-16 12:31:05

User - because balance is controlled through the inner ear. If you have blocked ears it can affect balance

LyndaNotLinda Thu 13-Oct-16 12:32:14

And OP yes, she is being unkind/rude.

Dontpanicpyke Thu 13-Oct-16 12:32:23

You need to woman up op and tell her the old mumsnet classic,

'Do you mean to be so rude' with a stare.

Silly cow.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Thu 13-Oct-16 12:34:17

She probably has nothing else to think about.

Takosuke Thu 13-Oct-16 12:35:30

She said if they have an ear infection it can make them a bit clumsy. I'm no doctor so I can't dispute that! Glad it's not just me, find it a bit odd that she feels so comfortable commenting on a stranger's child's development hmm I wouldn't even say that to a friend's child, nor would I think it!

Narnian Thu 13-Oct-16 12:37:10

She's very rude Tako. She's also a dickhead. Who says that about a toddler? I'd be giving her a wide berth next time.

kiki22 Thu 13-Oct-16 12:38:16

I would have said flat out that's not funny please dont make fun of my baby then watched her die of embarrassment

Loraline Thu 13-Oct-16 12:39:25

When my 3 year old gets tired he's prone to clumsiness and tripping, never mind 18 months!

OutDamnedWind Thu 13-Oct-16 12:40:12

Asking kindly if you've wondered about ears is one thing, but her comments today were unkind and uncalled for.

She's a toddler! They're basically small drunk people.

Takosuke Thu 13-Oct-16 12:41:51

Dontpanicpyke- Really surprised myself with my patience! My problem is that she seems to be friendly with quite a lot of people at a few groups we go to. I go with friends myself who have all said how rude they find her, today I was by myself so I suppose I noticed her more hmm I expect as Niggle said a lot of people think similar.

Takosuke Thu 13-Oct-16 12:43:28

kiki22 It's only when I've got home and thought about it I've got this annoyed, obviously I was pissed off at the time but now I feel like I haven't stood up for her.

helennotsomadnow Thu 13-Oct-16 12:44:27

perfect opportunity to use the classic mumsnet line "did you mean to be so rude"

she sounds a spiteful bit of work!

RabbitsNap01 Thu 13-Oct-16 12:44:42

i don't think she does have many friends if she makes amusing little jokes like this very often. Ignore it, or tell her that it's unkind to take the mickey out of a baby.

Wrinklytights Thu 13-Oct-16 12:45:58

Yes it's rude! So your DD walked at 15/16m - that's within the normal range and it takes all DC a few months to become totally steady once they're walking. All my DC were late walkers (one has a genetic condition and didn't walk until 25m, but the others are fine and walked between 14 and 17m) I got lots of annoying comments including one of my Mum's friends saying that late walking is due to parents being lazy and not 'walking them' enough! The physio we saw with DD said 'walking them' isn't actually good for them as the crawling stage is so important. If you have any concerns speak to your HV, but don't let this silly woman worry you and laughing at your DD is so mean!

foxtrotoscarfoxtrotfoxtrot Thu 13-Oct-16 12:49:47

Just let is wash over you. She's really not worth investing any time in. Ds is 19 months, and despite the fact he has been walking since he was 12 months he still runs like a drunk person and falls over his own feet. Totally normal.

You have a whole lifetime of people making stupid comments about your dc ahead of you, so do what I do, smile, nod and ignore.

GrumpyOldBag Thu 13-Oct-16 12:52:09

Ignore her.

There's no point letting yourself be bothered.

Takosuke Thu 13-Oct-16 12:53:03

Wrinklytights That's exactly what I was thinking, for all she knows it could be a sensitive subject. Really don't understand why people think it's okay to pass comment on other people's children.

Takosuke Thu 13-Oct-16 12:55:11

foxtrot Thanks, that's good to know. Things like this make me second guess myself!

lookatmenow Thu 13-Oct-16 12:55:14

What is she like walking in the house? Does she stumble a little then or is she fine? Could it be when she has shoes on she just doesn't pick her feet up enough - if so, take them off when inside at playgroup/home etc..

Maybe the lady has just seen soemthing which she has come across before and that child had an ear infection and is just passing on her knowledge.

I take it she has her own child with her, she may have had the same problem.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER Thu 13-Oct-16 12:57:08

My Gdd is 18 months and has been walking for about 3. She still falls quite a bit but then to me it's only to be expected at that stage. As a PP said, they are like little drunken people.
It's upsetting, but please try to ignore this woman.
Or, if she keeps on, I would say, Yes, you've said that before, but I really don't think there's anything wrong so please don't keep repeating it.

Popskipiekin Thu 13-Oct-16 12:58:20

Think our DS (now 2) learned to walk around the same age. He was always tripping over things and falling over. Never bothered him so never bothered us. I would have been annoyed too if someone had remarked on it. He's much steadier now and just trips if he isn't quite looking where he's going. As do I and I don't have half the excuse!

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