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AIBU to be seriously annoyed about inconsiderate parking?

(48 Posts)
Floss881 Sat 10-Sep-16 00:12:28

So today I went to the high street area of our small(ish) town. There's a large carpark behind a shopping arcade and I parked up in an area that had no other cars in it.... I do this deliberately firstly because I drive a lease car but secondly because I have impaired mobility and need to get my door open in order to get in and out (I'm actually waiting for a Blue Badge). So basically I park further away even though it causes me serious pain. There are no 'parent parking' bays in this car park.

I return to my car today to find another car parked so close to the passenger side that even my 3 year old was too big to squeeze through the gap... Goodness knows what kind of contortions the other driver did in order to get out and why they felt they had to. There were plenty of other spaces. There is a scratch mark down the length of my car (possibly from her handbag) where she's rubbed down the side while trying to move out.

Anyway, I left a note with a picture of it on the town Facebook page (a closed group) in the hope that she'd come back so that I could get her details. Additionally, she'd left her dog in the car on a reasonably hot day and I was concerned about the dog.... It did the trick, she came and apologised for parking too close.

However, the fallout from the Facebook post was really shocking...
"Is she meant to be a mind reader",
"I'm sure your child will survive the trauma of having to climb in the other side. Cars have 4 doors for a reason",
"She's still in the lines, she's done nothing wrong",
"Are you on drugs",
"What's wrong with walking",
There was even a suggestion that, because their cars get damaged, it's ok to do it to someone else's. It was really savagely unkind (and at times personal) for no apparent reason.

Genuinely, I'm really confused; The other driver knew they'd parked too close (she mentioned it before I'd even noticed she was there), there were plenty of other places to park, she's damaged my car and I'm the one in the wrong?! Is it really unreasonable to think
1) people should park their car so that they can get out without hitting the neighbouring car?
2) people in my new town have a pack mentality and rip to shreds anyone who bothers to post regardless of the reason? I've put the picture below so you can see how ridiculously close they were.

Incidentally the Facebook page name is (name of town): what matters to you? It mattered to me and thought it needed postinghmm

BombadierFritz Sat 10-Sep-16 00:16:51

im in the 'shes still in the lines' camp although its daft to park so close if there are other spaces. scratching your car is not on though!

puddlejumpingqueen Sat 10-Sep-16 00:19:45

To be fair she is further into her box than you are. Unless the spaces are tiny you are very far over to the left.

MakeMyWineADouble Sat 10-Sep-16 00:20:12

You both look pretty close to the lines too me but if she scratched your car egress wrong. I'm not a fan of local Facebook groups for exactly those reasons seem to be a pack mentality and just a way to embarrass people

HeCantBeSerious Sat 10-Sep-16 00:35:39

Serves you both right for parking forwards.

Floss881 Sat 10-Sep-16 00:53:36

To be fair BOTH cars are in the box and roughly equal distance from the line. I am told that the space widths were altered a few years ago and are much narrower than standard size.

My point being at some time everyone has thought "oh we're a bit close I'll just adjust the car a bit" but this time the other driver clearly thought "oh we're a bit close I'll just leave it and slither out".... My friend did a similar 'too close but inside the lines' parking job and ended up having her brand new Mercedes keyed from front to back. Why would they inconvenience themselves like that by parking that way when there was an entire row of spaces to choose from?? confused

HarrietSchulenberg Sat 10-Sep-16 00:55:57

Sorry but you are both within the lines. It's just that the spaces are too small.

QuestionableMouse Sat 10-Sep-16 00:59:52

HeCant, I always park forwards. I need unobstructed access to the boot. Judgey Judgey to say that without knowing why both people are parked as they are.

eightbluebirds Sat 10-Sep-16 01:05:04

I tend to park forwards when shopping so my boot doesn't get blocked in so I'm not sure what relevance that has. Unless it was the last space YANBU op, assuming the spaces are really that small and you had even space on each side of your car?

HeCantBeSerious Sat 10-Sep-16 01:09:07

Car is the wrong way around to have the best viability/manouvrability when driving out of the space if parked forwards. So
More likely to cause an accident leaving than if parked forwards.

Unless you're having to put a motorised scooter in the back (or a shed) I'm not sure why cou couldn't go in backwards. My paraplegic relative's partner manages to reverse park even with wheelchairs etc to get in and out.

Jizzomelette Sat 10-Sep-16 01:22:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

allsfairinlove Sat 10-Sep-16 01:30:22

Whilst it's shit that your car is scratched, I think you do have to take some responsibility that you were parked too close to the line if you wanted to avoid this issue.

Floss881 Sat 10-Sep-16 01:53:58

This particular car park is outside a Waitrose. If you reverse park in and there are cars either side then there isn't enough space to get the shopping down the side of the car and into the boot (there's a fence on the other side too- making it especially difficult). The spaces are smaller than standard size but my car was literally the only car in that line (of about 40 spaces). It's basically like standing in an empty room and having someone come in and press their nose against your face.... Why would you?! Surely it's not unreasonable to think that people actually take that into consideration when parking their car? I'm beginning to think that I'm the only one that thinks "ooh they might be a bit cross if I park a hands width away from the next car. I'll just move over a bit"

Floss881 Sat 10-Sep-16 02:24:25

Maybe I'm just "too nice"... It has been said before. hmmgrin

Floss881 Sat 10-Sep-16 02:29:26

Presumably in a disabled parking bay where there is ample space on all sides?

MimiSunshine Sat 10-Sep-16 03:12:04

It's weird and annoying for the other person to have deliberately parked next to you if the whole row was empty.
Someone did the same to me when I'd parked similarly because of getting the baby out, I came back to the car and couldn't get the baby in their side so had to drag the car seat across the back. I know they wouldn't have known that but the whole row was empty 🙄

However I think some people can't park without lining up next to another car and you both appear to be equidistant from the lines so she was no more parked badly than you did, she was wrong to scratch your car though

purpleapple1234 Sat 10-Sep-16 04:02:04

It seems to be weird phenomenon of the internet that people love to be judgemental of other people being judgemental. And they love being on the right side of a baying mob. It can be horrible to read and awful to be on receiving end of.
It sounds like that the other woman was in the wrong or made an error of judgement (who hasn't?). Instead of ranting to friends and family or seething on the inside you went on the internet to publically have a go and then when it hasn't gone your way you have come on here to vent. Lots of posters on here have learnt that you can't always expect others on an Internet forum to be as outraged as you. If I were you i'd stick to bitching to my friends and family. Also I'd become more philosophical about parking f* ups too - it's part and parcel of owning a car.

Floss881 Sat 10-Sep-16 05:19:09

I actually originally went 'on the internet' so that I could try and get her details and get her to come back and retrieve her dog. She damaged my car others sat in judgement. I just find it weird behaviour

Floss881 Sat 10-Sep-16 06:30:30

Also, this particular Facebook page attracts people who seem to enjoy the thrill of taking down others in pack formation. It's subjects are mostly in an AIBU type. For example:
Poster writes "is it unreasonable to think there's little variety for vegans in local restaurants" is absolutely annihilated for "denigrating local businesses".... Seriously, 87 replies basically saying "go somewhere else if you don't like it". Another poster writes "AIBU to think that the local Tesco should not give me out of date cheese when I do an Internet order".... There's literally hundreds of replies along the lines of "don't be lazy and go and get it yourself" (incidentally the poster didn't drive and lived far away from the nearest supermarket). There just seems to be a serious lack of compassion and thoughtfulness in people for others and it makes me genuinely sad that people can't go to a page entitled "(your town): what matters to you" and not be absolutely humiliated. It literally happens on every single post and they're hardly life or death issues... Fair enough, people have opposing views but do they really have to make people feel bad about feeling the way they do?!

The fact is that the other driver had (probably knowingly) damaged my car and would probably driven off and left it like that if it hadn't of been highlighted- leaving me £££'s out of pocket when I return the car. I don't think that's ok. confused

lampygirl Sat 10-Sep-16 07:55:59

Damaging your car is not OK, however if the car parks are tight I'd probably have put my car very close passenger side to passenger side by reversing in to make sure I could get out without hitting the other car the other side. I know the driver needs to get in/out easier than any passengers who could ultimately be picked up once the driver has gotten out of the space, so I'll always aim to leave more space on a driver's side. The other driver had parked no worse than you did on this occasion.

More car parks should have spaces like costco...

DesolateWaist Sat 10-Sep-16 08:09:22

I'm of the 'both inside the lines' camp too.

Ginmakesitallok Sat 10-Sep-16 08:20:15

I'm not getting the "it's ok - both cars are within their lines" argument? I think you both look too close to the line- you can park as close to the line as you did and then get annoyed by someone else parking almost as close too? If you both park one inch from a line then that's too close.

I agree she shouldn't have damaged your car - but without seeing how much room is at other side of cars it's impossible to judge who is parked more badly.

dailyarsewipe Sat 10-Sep-16 08:23:50


Almost Everyone: A bit, yeah

OP: No I'm not! I'm obviously nicer than everyone else.

You aren't unreasonable to be frustrated that it was hard to get in, you are unreasonable to think that it was odd to park next to you in an empty car park.

You are unreasonable to still be complaining about it beyond leaving the car park, you are unreasonable to go online and name and shame someone who didn't really do anything wrong. You are unreasonable to be cross that people challenged that, you are unreasonable to expect a different response by posting on here. <-- well actually, non e of these are unreasonable per se but they are a bit confused when you can't seem to see that most people don't get your anger about the whole thing.

dailyarsewipe Sat 10-Sep-16 08:24:44

The empty car park thing should have read YANBU

Ameliablue Sat 10-Sep-16 08:26:33

Which car is yours? I was it her drivers side that is closest to yours, if so that's just plain weird. Have you asked her for repairs to the car?

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