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AIBU?

To ask if you're a SAHM, how many hours a day are you on your feet?

64 replies

SugarlumpFairyQueen · 20/07/2016 22:41

I only ask as I am a SAHM and I have lots of days where I literally don't sit from the moment I wake up till I go to bed bar the odd time to eat (and that's if I even get to eat properly!)

Like today, I have only sat down at 10pm with a cup of tea and MN and Im just shattered! My legs are aching and I can't even be bothered getting my arse upstairs.

Is it me or are other SAHMs like this too?

It makes me feel like I'm not using my time efficiently or something. You'd think I have a million projects going on or I'm juggling lots of events but I'm not!

I have nothing to show for it!

OP posts:

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bumsexatthebingo · 20/07/2016 22:46

If I'm honest I spend quite a lot of the day sitting aside from the school runs which are a decent walk. I only do essential housework and dh is pretty helpful.

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Gingeete · 20/07/2016 22:49

I find the same. I am SO busy. I think the majority of my
Time is washing clothes, hanging out clothes, taking in clothes. School run, cooking dinner, tidying etc. Tedious. Exhausting. Monotonous. But not forever!!

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SweetieBumMum · 20/07/2016 22:53

No, I think it's normal. Our GP runs late and I had an appointment recently. I took head phones and watched tv on my phone.
I was the only person happy that he over ran as I could just sit and watch tv. I genuinely do not know the last time I simply sat and read a book, or watched TVs etc.
Pretty sh1t really!

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Nanunanu · 20/07/2016 22:54

Have you looked at what you spend time actually doing? Can you be more efficient?

So for instance when feeding ds I'll be up and down because I'll have forgotten the sippy cup or the wipes. Or I won't put the may down and then I'll have more tidying up to do which takes longer. I'm like this because I don't have the slick practiced technique yet.

Whereas dp brings everything that is necessary to the table quickly. Then feeds him and clears up before you can say boo

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UmbongoUnchained · 20/07/2016 22:54

I didn't really do much as a stay at home mum really.

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arethereanyleftatall · 20/07/2016 22:57

Depended On the age of my dc at the time.
When pfb was a newborn I was mostly sat down, either feeding or watching a movie/reading whilst she slept on me.
When I had a 3 year old and a 1 year old, almost never.

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Primaryteach87 · 20/07/2016 22:58

I am up and about a lot as run around after my toddler. But I try and sit down for my own lunch when my toddler is having a nap. Otherwise I'm flagging by 3. I'm also pregnant which probably doesn't help.

Having said that, I find booking things helps. Last year I studied for a qualification which meant I went to classes and sat & listened as well as sat an wrote essays! So I definitely do get to sit. I just have to make time for it.

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Naughty1205 · 20/07/2016 22:59

I don't stop. Ibarely go to the toilet and either eat standing or in the car. I never sit down unless to feed ds. Not sure if I am completely inefficient or a bit of a perfectionist about the state of the house. Am trying to do everything and don't know where to draw the line. Hate being like this!

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FlattenedWhite · 20/07/2016 23:01

What on earth are you doing for you to literally not sit down from the moment you get up in the morning until 10 pm? Do you have newborn quintuplets or something???

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MissHemsworth · 20/07/2016 23:04

I'm the same & I wouldn't say I'm inefficient. There always seems to be stuff that needs doing especially if my DS2 has groups to go to during the day.

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Thenightswatch · 20/07/2016 23:14

I can't understand how people have no time to sit down, I have three under three and manage to fit the odd cup of tea in, I eat my breakfast, lunch and dinner with the kids, and even manage an hour of me time while they're napping. Even get washing and house work done, feel like I'm not doing enough because I'm definitely not always on my feet

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stopgap · 20/07/2016 23:50

I would say I'm always in motion, but do put my feet up. A typical day in summer is:

Take 4-year-old to camp at school
2-year-old to gym with me
2-year-old to library
Pick up 4-year-old at noon and have lunch with both boys at home
Trip to local playground/splash pad with other SAHM friends. Don't sit for two hours as youngest likes to climb the equipment intended for big kids.
Grocery shop
Back home, tidy up like a crazy person, and make dinner while kids watch a TV show.
Bath time/bedtime routine

It is a different approach to parenting in the U.S. There's a lot more driving involved, and way more involvement in sports and after school activities, even from a young age. I am trying to take a low-key approach, and right now boys only do swimming lessons, and karate.

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shrunkenhead · 21/07/2016 00:04

I rarely sit down between the hours of waking and 10pm. I do work part time though so a typical day is get dd to school, go to work, leave work to collect dd from school, go home make tea (possible swimming lessons, Beavers etc deprnding on day) then wind down to dd's bedtime. Tidy house, wash dishes etc sit down to watch a bit of my telly after 9pm. To be fair I have no reason to sit down until then. It's far from ideal but if I eat I eat standing up as know as soon as I dare to sit down dd will ask for something so I have to get up again. Perhaps I should be more efficient and that's where I'm going wrong. I just feel there's always something that needs doing and I can't relax knowing I should be doing something that needs doing. Sadly things always need doing and it's relentless.

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Ellieboolou27 · 21/07/2016 00:13

I was thinking this myself, I rarely get to sit down / relax by 8.30pm and that's on a good day! Of course I eat lunch sitting down but I don't sit and relax at any point during the day (or st least it never feels like it). 10 month old, 4 year old, dog who's like having a third child, then housework, cooking, cleaning, washing, constant picking up of toys, washing up, making lunches, shopping and it goes on and on and on, that's why I stay up so late as I never have any time to myself.

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FlattenedWhite · 21/07/2016 00:14

To be fair I have no reason to sit down until then. It's far from ideal but if I eat I eat standing up as know as soon as I dare to sit down dd will ask for something so I have to get up again.

Isn't feeling tired and wanting a small rest, or wanting to eat sitting down a good enough reason, shrunken? How old is your daughter? DS is four, but still grasps that unless it's an emergency, when I'm eating, I'm eating, and he needs to wait for whatever crucial attention he's after!

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Haudyerwheesht · 21/07/2016 00:22

When dc were younger not very Often but now a lot - more than I should BUT not during summer hols because Dd (5) is just full on all the time, there are always neighbours kids round and ds needs lifts etc.

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shrunkenhead · 21/07/2016 00:23

Reading my post back makes me quite sad, FlattenedWhite. She's 6. I just find no joy in eating anymore with the constant interruptions it's easier not to. I do make a conscious effort sometimes to do the sit down eat thing as know it can't be healthy for her otherwise. I don't want her growing up thinking her mother never eats!
I put too much pressure on myself (or so my dh says) and think if I sit down on the sofa instead of doing what needs doing I'm being lazy and judge myself harshly.

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SugarlumpFairyQueen · 21/07/2016 02:48

It looks like I'm not the only one! Yy, to the DCs wanting something just as I sit down to eat or relax. It makes me so mad! It's as though they're actually intentionally doing this.

Yesterday was probably not the best day as I needed to pop into town for errands (and a browse, which I love).

My legs are aching which is why I'm up at this hour!

OP posts:

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treaclesoda · 21/07/2016 02:53

When I was a sahm I was on my feet for most of the day. I piled on loads of weight when I went back to work and ended up sitting for 8 hours a day

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beenaroundawhile · 21/07/2016 03:06

The only time I sit down is when I'm driving. I have a 4 and 1 year old at home, I think it's the "at home" bit for the kids which makes it so busy. You're constantly cooking, feeding, tidying... As soon as one meal is finished you're thinking about the next, as soon as one room tidy another is messed up again. If they're out of the house either st school or nursery, they're not making mess which makes a huge difference. I also have other work that I do which takes s long time, I'm not conventionally employed though so rather than having to explain to everyone, most people prefer to think as a SAHM I'm just clearing up baby food.

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Longlost10 · 21/07/2016 03:15

From the age of about 18 months, I trained DC that if mummy has a cup of tea in her hand she will not stand up again until it's empty

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Bogeyface · 21/07/2016 03:37

You need to lower your standards and heighten your expectations.

Advice given with love from a mother of 6.

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Bogeyface · 21/07/2016 03:39

That is, expectations from those you care for.

Small children can take their plates to the kitchen, tidy up their toys, watch TV for an hour to chill while mummy naps (they need chill out time too).

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Fomalhaut · 21/07/2016 03:40

I'm on Mat leave -with one that maps for max ten-twenty minutes at a time day and night.
The very rare occasions he sleeps for a bit longer I get to have a bit of me time. Otherwise it's relentless. He's been up since 2:30 today for example and I'm desperately trying to get him back to sleep ...

I'm exhausted,

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ChipsCheeseandIrnBru · 21/07/2016 04:06

I had coffee play dates (cringe) in the morning and afternoon today because it poured with rain so we needed indoor play activities meaning I sat down for about an hour in the morning and afternoon but it was jumping up and down - toddler needs a wee, toddler spilled juice on his shorts, toddler battering a toy off his friend, baby needs burped, baby needs moved and rocked etc etc

I have about an hour after lunch when toddler naps if I can get Baby to nap at the same time - very rare.

But I insist that we eat every meal together sitting at the table so we stop, sit down, eat and talk. Gives me time to rest and reconnect properly with toddler if it's been busy.

So it's built in at various times of the day. Other times I'm running ragged like a blue arsed fly.