My first proper post - been lurking for ages but today I'd really welcome your opinions.
I'm not the most confident driver (took me 4 attempts to pass my test, although that was 18 years ago) but (touch wood) I've not been in any accidents. Admittedly I'm fine on my own and only more nervous with a passenger but I'm not dangerous, just a little hesitant and cautious.
Background:
So, 2 weeks ago my DH broke his arm and it's in a caste (irrelevant how it happened really - it was a DIY accident). Since then I've been driving him to and from work most days unless I have a prior work commitment (I work freelance; mostly from home but occasionally from clients offices).
My issue:
Every day DH has commented (moaned and been critical) on my driving. Sometimes it's in response to a question I ask about whether I 'should go' at a junction etc, as I've been asking him. He has very definite ideas about who/when I should let people in (or not!) and how fast I should drive etc, so after last weeks comments I've started asking him his opinion. However jnstead of replying nicely I've had the likes of 'f*ing cyclists - overtake him!'; 'you went too fast past those teenagers' (that walked out in front of me as I went round a mini roundabout - so I wasn't going that fast!); 'don't let them in'; 'stop farting about and put your foot down'....you get the picture...
I've bit my lip till now - often resulting in a stony silence from me, but this morning the comments were non-stop.
So once I arrived at the gym for my Friday morning class I text him this:
Honey - I'm not the best or most confident driver at the best of times, so your constant beratement and criticisms do nothing to help me. I'm doing my best to get you where you need to be so please stop criticising me. You've really upset me and it's not fair. If you don't like my driving you can make your own arrangements for the next three weeks until your caste is off. Have a good day - I'm at the gym. See you where I dropped you at 6pm Xx
His response:
It is quite simple, when you ask my advice when you are driving I give you advice, but, you being you, you argue about what I say so just don't ask for it. If you don't want to drive me in then don't. X
My response:
The delivery of your advice needs some work honey 😝. I am happy to drive you; I never said I wasn't. You were the one moaning you'd drive yourself next week 😳 xxx
Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed (and upset!) by his (unusually quick - I often have to wait an age for him to respond) response?? He is pretty rubbish at using the 'S ' word at the best of times (but is amazing and wonderful in every other way and we are very happy!).
I am particularly upset because he is also rubbish at using the 'T' word too and all I wanted was a simple 'sorry for upsetting you honey' and 'thank you for driving me to work'.
I should add:
- it's only a 25 minute journey (with good traffic) and I really don't mind driving him. Its meant I've been more diligent about going to the gym (which is on the way home) which is good.
- given his broken arm I'm doing other jobs that he would normally do too, like mowing the lawn, putting out the rubbish...basically anything requiring two good arms (😳).
I would love your opinions as I'm in a serious grump now and it's going to bother me all day. AIBU to expect a 'sorry'??