So vested interest here, I'm a mum to young boys. So the whole motherinlaw-daughterinlaw dynamic troubles me.
My mil has done some things which have upset me in the past (and I'm sure I have too) but then so have my own parents, who I'm very close to.
Increasingly I think for most (not all & accept some people are mad, bad and dangerous!!) mil-dil relationships it's about 'framing'.
If I 'frame' mil as someone I love who loves me and can make mistakes and be forgiven, we can have a great relationship. If I 'frame' it as mil dislikes me and I dislike her, we could have a terrible relationship. There are real things that have happened, I could work myself into a frenzy about. But, she is human and negotiating this relationship for the first time, just like I am.
The more I laugh and tease and joke, the more I feel like a daughter. The more I forgive slights, the more I recognise all the nice things she does. The more I seek her out, the less threatened I am. The more she feels invoked, the more supportive she becomes.
So...tell me I'm wrong? but be kind or I'll go and have acry about my boys' wives hating me!!
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38 replies
Primaryteach87 · 02/04/2016 15:34
OP posts:
itsmine ·
02/04/2016 16:32
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