My dd is yr 5. There have been some issues over the last year or so with another girl. It was particularly acute last year for about 6 weeks with excluding behaviour from this other girl, whispering, pointing, laughing etc. This girl is fairly new to the school. My dd became extremely upset for the first time in her school life. I took this to the head on a couple of occasions and he tackled it by talking the girl in question. Things seemed to settle down for a bit but regularly since then, issues have arisen, although they do then settle for a short time.
The behaviour in question is low level, manipulative stuff- ie leaving my dd out, refusing to allow her to join groups, getting up if my dd tries to sit down next to her, causing issues between well established friends and generally shit stirring. Over the last year, 3 other parents of girls in dd's class have been to the head with concerns about her manipulative and excluding behaviour. To set the context, there are less than 10 girls in my dd's class, so it's half of parents (that I know of). I feel that this child is creating a dysfunctional environment for the girls in the class. The head teacher despite the complaints has never involved the girl's parents but has had occasional talks with the class and individuals about respect, friendship etc. AIBU to expect this to be tackled in a different way? AIBU to raise my concerns again about this girl and the effect she is having on class dynamics/ the happiness of the girls or do I have to expect my dd to toughen up?
AIBU?
To take this to the Head again?
Cloudhopping · 22/03/2016 13:42
To set the context, there are less than 10 girls in my dd's class, so it's half of parents (that I know of). I feel that this child is creating a dysfunctional environment for the girls in the class.
So you are all getting together and talking about the child?
Do you really all go straight to the Head with this kind of thing? 
Is it a very small school? At ours you would be expected to speak to the class teacher first, then the head of year/Keystage, and then the Deputy Head before getting anywhere near to an appointment with the Head.
There's a girl in dd's year who was said to behave in a similar way. I heard a few parents went in to complain about her. As a result she was moved in to dd's class. I was worried about it after everything I heard. She has turned out to be a lovely polite girl. She, dd and two others are a very happy group of friends. It makes a bit about everything that was said about her. I think things aren't always as one sided as parents seem to think.
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If the procedure is to speak to the Head then I would do that.
Whatever the ins and outs of who did what, the bottom lie is that your dd is clearly upset. I would use this as the starting point and say that there are friendship issues and probably bullying issues in the Yr5 class.
I would then ask about what the school usually does to address this and suggest that general talks to the class just aren't working. Our school does a lot of group work on this kind of thing and role play where the children practise standing up to bullies. There's also a culture of encouraging children to speak up if they witness any bullying, including telling an adult.
Good luck with it all. I hope your dd feels happier soon. 
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