DH does not discipline the DC or attempt to back up anything I do. He does what they want, when they want and let's them get away with anything. The baby, for example, is a climber and he'll watch her climbing on furniture/beds/the stairs but never remove her or tell her not to. He let's her carry around dangerous things (I.e marbles and ceramic bowl) rather than removing them. He responds immediately to whinging by picking her up or passing her something (usually something she isn't allowed) but mostly Ignores any other noise or attempt at communication. If she complains about something (like not wanting to go in the pushchair) he'll let her not do whatever it is.
Our 3 yo Ignores him most of the time at best and shouts at/is rude to him at worst. He also responds to her whinging by picking her up and if she complains about something (like having to wash her hands before eating) then he doesn't make her do it. I've worked hard to get her to sit at the table and feed herself (she has issues with food) but when he's here he let's her sit on his lap and feeds her by hand On days out he will carry her or put her in the pushchair (meaning I have to carry the baby) because he won't tell her to walk in case she complains. She then falls asleep or doesn't really get anything from the day out. She's nearly 4 and walks fine when he isn't here. He will ask her to do something, she'll shout no and he'll end up doing it (I. E. Picking up toys) and overall just does whatever makes his life easier in the moment rather than thinking of the future.
Every week we go through whinging and moaning all weekend; from the DC because they don't understand what's expected of them and they know whinging gets results from him and from him because he gets fed up of the whinging from them. Then on Monday I have to face an awful day of 'resetting' them into not being carried around, not screaming and shouting, using manners, eating at the table and feeding themselves, walking, not whinging, not doing dangerous things etc. By Wednesday they're happy and back to normal and DH always comments on how happy they seem and seems clueless why they're unhappy at weekends.
He picked up the baby when whinging and let the 3 yo speak to him like dirt about twenty times within half hour yesterday morning so I later said to him that he is making things harder for everyone in the long run by pandering to them and explained how Mondays are awful. He says IABU to blame him for Mondays when he isn't even here but I think it's a no-brainer and cruel to the DC to expect them to go through this process every week. AIBU?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
to blame DH for the DCs poor behaviour?
47 replies
JustCleo · 20/03/2016 23:17
OP posts:
DixieNormas ·
21/03/2016 07:34
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe ·
21/03/2016 07:39
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.