So some background to avoid Drip feeding -
In laws live in another country, since DS born 2 years ago they either come and stay with us or we go and stay with them (in total 3 times a year averaging 10 days per visit). DS is their first and only grandchild. They are in their late 60's, reasonable health, active on their feet etc. They have a quiet retired life and go on regular holidays which don't involve visiting us.
We live in a 2 bedroom flat with just 1 bathroom so them coming to stay is ok but does mean DH and I sleep on a mattress in the living room as DS won't sleep if anyone shares his room. DH works long hours, I am a SAHM and DS doesn't go to nursery.
We visited them at Christmas for a week and they are also coming to stay for 2 weeks in April. We tried to suggest that it wouldn't be convenient for them to also come and stay for 10 days in February as we are desperately trying to move to a new house and was likely we would have moved by April but still in flat in February. They like booking flights well in advance to save money so were not open to playing it by ear.
They insisted that February was a must as their daughter is going to live abroad indefinitely and wanted to see her before she left. They are just seeing her for one Sunday lunch though (they are not very close).
Anyway they are here now visiting and stated they were keen to help out and spend time with DS. So for me 'helping' is playing with DS - nothing too active just interacting with him doing puzzles, books, playing trains. Basically so I can get on with our everyday routine minus a toddler asking me to play whilst I'm trying to cook dinner, or me having to stop him climbing and falling off the dining table - without resorting to TV which is what I sometimes have to when it's just the 2 of us.
So far mornings are ok - routine breakfast, all of us off to the playground/park with grandparents in tow for a couple of hours then lunch and nap for 2/3 hours. In laws also nap.
Finally coming to the part I'm find strange: when everyone wakes up from their naps, the in laws just sit around in living room/adjoining kitchen doing solitary activities. MIL wearing headphones listening to audio books and doing crosswords. FIL on his tablet computer playing games or reading. DS walks around trying to engage them in play. They either ask the other one to play with him or play for 5 mins tops then back to their activities. I end up playing with him and then when it's dinner time I end up sticking the tv on as DS is around my ankles. When I do this, MIL finally springs into action and sits watching tv with him.
I am somewhat bemused and find it somewhat a) pointless for them to visit if point is to spend time with DS b) rude and anti social to be on headphones/tablet.
Is this a reasonable assessment? What (if anything) could I possibly say to them or do differently for the next visit?
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AIBU?
to find my in laws behaviour strange?
35 replies
vcrees6 · 11/02/2016 13:36
OP posts:
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