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AIBU?

Or is this neglect?

31 replies

Missymoo08 · 13/08/2015 12:14

Bit of a long one so I apologise. I live in a block of flats with an open back and communal back garden we have two flats at front of building who have to access the garden thru the security door and cannot see the garden due to the placement of their windows..the couple at the front have a young child no more than three and a newborn and we have noticed that since the baby has been born the child has been left in the back garden from sometimes 8am and because of window placement they cannot check on him it has meant on a few occasions a neighbour has had to take him to his door because he has been screaming for his mum and it appears they cannot hear him ..there are a lot of kids in the flats who play in the garden mine included and they get on great as do the neighbours therefore we allow the kids to come and go in each others houses as they please however we do not associate with this couple due to them threatening a neighbour because she asked them to keep the noise down whilst her son was trying to sleep and previos occasions when he has shouted at other neighbours whilst off his face on drugs. Whilst I have no problem keeping an eye on my kids and other neighbours children whilst they are in the garden as we all do it for each other am I being unreasonable that we should be expected to keep an eye out on their little boy also when he doesn't know any of us and they don't even associate with us as this is how I feels that they think they can put him out the back and someone else will watch him and sonetimes he is out like i said from 8am before half ofbus have left for work and can be out there two three hours without any sign of mum or dad or should I report this? And if so to who?

OP posts:

Report

Missymoo08 · 13/08/2015 12:15

I meant shouldn't be expected* sorry autocorrect

OP posts:

BoredAdminGirl · 13/08/2015 12:18

Thats disgusting

Hissy · 13/08/2015 12:19

Call the NSPCC for advice, don't just assume this is OK, because it doesn't sound like it is.

Snozberry · 13/08/2015 12:24

There is no excuse in the world for a 3 year old to be left unsupervised for 2-3 hours.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 13/08/2015 12:30

No that's not ok, poor kid.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 13/08/2015 12:32

A 3 year old child left in a garden all day without any supervision from their parents certainly comes under negligent behaviour in my book.

lunar1 · 13/08/2015 12:58

Not ok at all, I'd be ringing ss or nspcc for advice.

Wishful80smontage · 13/08/2015 13:02

I would call SS too sounds awful :(

tinkytot · 13/08/2015 13:03

Would you feel happy approaching the parents?

If not ring social services duty team or out of hours and discuss with on duty social worker.

MrsOs · 13/08/2015 13:04

that's not ok.. never.. report them.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 13/08/2015 13:04

Please ring, it's a shame for the poor boy. There shouldn't be an expectation of others to look out for him, let him in, etc, what if he's hurt or needs the loo or a drink? This is why some children are wild when they attend school, they haven't learnt to be part of a family.

DeandraReynolds · 13/08/2015 13:05

Maybe call the HV if you don't want to jump straight to SS.

Missymoo08 · 13/08/2015 15:41

In the past when approached for whatever reason they've became aggressive and my bil and ds who live a few falts along from me already spoke to them and told them we're not there to look after other peoples children because they can't be bothered so relations are a bit strained anyway so will look down the route of calling ss and see if they can advise. Although his mum and dad aren't there, there is always an adult about whether they're looking out for the other kids or having a sneaky fag etc so he is never really not being looked out for as if he fell or needed the loo myself or another would happily help and if the others are given a drink he is always offered I just don't like that it seems now they have this newborn he seems an inconvenience and they seem to think that because he's in the back garden with a security door he'll be fine

OP posts:

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 13/08/2015 19:31

Most people wouldn't leave their kid, unless they asked. 'Would you mind, just nipping to the loo'. If they haven't asked somebody, they are neglecting him, whether you watch him or not.

Aeroflotgirl · 13/08/2015 19:48

This is neglect, I woukd contact SS, poor child .

MumOfTheMoment · 13/08/2015 19:58

I would think that any parent who thinks shutting a 3yr old out in the garden for hours on end is acceptable won't be giving them top class parenting when they are inside either.

Phone SS as soon as you can OP. That poor child.

selly24 · 13/08/2015 20:06

Please call NSPCC and talk through your concerns. This child is vulnerable left unsupervised aged 3yrs.

DirtyMugPolice · 13/08/2015 20:11

Yanbu. Please call Ss. Most councils will have a duty worker - could you call tonight and maybe someone could come out tomorrow hopefully? Poor little sod. Even at home I wouldn't have let my son out of sight for more than 10 mins (if I was having a shower etc I'd give him my phone so I knew he'd stay put ). Plus at that age he was on a constant growth spurt so always wanting snacks.

TRexingInAsda · 13/08/2015 20:12

Poor little boy. He's probably best out there being looked after by you and socialising than he would be being neglected with nobody watching inside their flat. If they can't behave with normal social graces in front of other adults, they're not likely to in front of just him on his own - especially if they see him as 'in the way' with the new baby there. It's so horrible. No you shouldn't be expected to look after this little boy, but the alternative might be a lot worse for him :(

PingpongDingDong · 13/08/2015 20:13

No, that's neglect. Call SS and report it op, that's dreadful.

Missymoo08 · 13/08/2015 22:45

Thanks everyone for the advice I'm going to call ss first thing and report it...would I need evidence or someone else to prove it?

OP posts:

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 13/08/2015 22:53

Hi, I think they will look at all sorts of things, see parents, medical records, hV, neighbors, I would imagine he's on the radar already.

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happystory · 15/08/2015 09:12

Did you call, missy? This has been preying on my mind.

DirtyMugPolice · 15/08/2015 15:16

Any update op?

Missymoo08 · 15/08/2015 16:30

Hi all, sorry for not getting back sooner. I have contacted ss and explained my fears and they have said that they will log it and look into it so I think its just a matter of waiting to see what is done...although today he has been outside with his grandfather in the garden and his father has been hovering about also so not sure if somethings been said by another neighbour or if they've contacted them already as I called yesterday morning before work but as long as there is an adult with him I guess I cant grumble at how it came about.. Thanks all for the advice and will update if I hear anything else or if anything happens

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