My dd is 9mo and has been struggling with heart problems, but things seem to have settled for the time being. I have wanted to have her christened but she has been too poorly. When she was a few weeks old, my dh and I agreed that my dsis and her dh would be perfect for godparents as they love both of our dcs and both have the qualities we value in a godparent. They live in London, but always keep in touch and visit often and really love both of our dcs.
Now that the request has been put to the church for a date for the christening, dh ha decided he wants his brother and his new wife to also be godparents. To be clear, I have a terrible relationship with them, in particular the brother is loud, obnoxious and attention seeking. He made a show of himself and even made a speech at our wedding without being asked, and always tries to take the attention during other family occasions. There has been many family rows, instigated by their poor behaviour, and he always comments on my dd saying things like 'they are so boring until they talk' 'all she does is poo and eat and sleep' and basically has no interest in her wellbeing at all, let alone being a role model for her or someone she could go to for advice. He has history of drug use, shoplifting and doesn't seem to show any signs of valuing our dd. His wife is very quiet and does whatever bil tells her to do. They live in the same town and barely see the dcs as they are too busy. I don't feel like I know her at all, and we don't see each other unless there is a family occasion.
Dh basically wants to have someone from 'his family' too (although I did point out we are all one family!) and his brother and wife are the only option.
Would I be unreasonable to plan the christening with my dsis and her dh as the godparents and no others and hope dh comes round to the idea? I can't explain how important it is for me to have her baptised as soon as we can given her health.
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AIBU?
To go ahead without his permission?
46 replies
Hidingbehindclouds · 12/08/2015 14:04
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