This is a hopelessly self-indulgent thread, and I will admit that from the start, so please, please don't be personally horrible even if you feel the need to give me a kick (kicks are fine by the way!) Oh, and I've name changed.
I can't say I've ever been hugely confident in how I look (who is) and I have always had things I wanted to change, but I've had an ongoing battle with my weight since having DC1 and whilst I've never gone absolutely hugely enormous, I have certainly been a lot bigger than I should have been - peaked at 12 and a half stone (am 5'3) but did manage to lose it all.
Two subsequent pregnancies and I'm fat again.
I know I can lose it. But part of me wonders what the point even is as I never look nice anyway. My hair used to be lovely. Long and thick and strong and fair. Now it's just messy. The more I spend on it, the worse it looks. My face is awful. Resting bitch face looks worse with puffed out cheeks and a double chin, and I've got spots and scarring and long pube-like hairs that grow sporadically from my NECK. I have thick eyebrows that knit together when I'm concentrating (the number of times I've given myself a shock when reading on a screen ...)
I just look scruffy and feel uncomfortable whatever I wear. I live in leggings and t-shirts.
I've got a horrible feeling I will embarrass my children through looking so scowly and frumpy and horrible. There are barely any photos of me with them as I hate how I look. Also, I don't know if anyone else has experienced this but I've got really, really sweaty lately. I barely used to sweat at all but I'm noticing a need to shower more than once a day - will put it that way! Obviously it's easily dealt with; I hate the fact I have to though.
I feel like I've almost got to the point where I can't imagine being any other way. The frustrating thing is my looks disguise who I am.
I've got no confidence at all.
I hate mirrors, cameras, clothes, makeup and cosmetics. And I used to love them.
Talk some sense into me. Please.
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Please
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AIBU?
To hate the way I look, and hate the fact I care?
39 replies
feelrubbish2015 · 22/07/2015 14:27
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