This is going to initially sound massively ungrateful, I'm not being, I promise, people mean well, I get that, but I find it weirdly unsupportive when people tell me this about my parenting.
Some may see what I mean, some may KNOW what I mean, and some may just rollock me for being ungrateful. That's fair enough.
I guess I just wish someone would just for once, for once, ask me how I'm doing, instead of just telling me how I'm doing.
Ironically when you just tell a single mum: "Oh you're doing brilliantly!" that's not helpful. We're not doing brilliantly, we are barely surviving, we feel awful a lot of the time, we're not having any support, we're lonely and you've no idea what my mothering is like when you're not around.
Yes I happen to have been blessed with a lovely child. That doesn't mean I'm doing brilliantly. I'm pouring my heart into her and I am but a husk as a result. And sometimes a rubbish mother.
And before you say it, I have lovely friends but for some reason, they still don't ask, not in that way.
When someone tells you "You're doing brilliantly" it sort of closes any conversational avenues into how much you're struggling or asking for help. They've told you you're doing well, all is wonderful, it's a fact, no problem, next topic please.
I would just love, - no, need - , just for once for someone to ask, "How are you actually getting on Kate? How are things really? Do you need anything?"
All of these well meaning platitudes are really not helpful, they make me feel awful and are just not true. I'm sinking and I need a cuddle.
Next time you feel yourself about to TELL a mother "You're doing brilliantly!!" Stop yourself and ask, sincerely, "Are you doing okay?"
Believe me it will make the world a better place.
AIBU?
...To be fed up with people saying 'you're doing brilliantly/a great job/amazingly well' etc...
DangerGrouse · 17/07/2015 22:28
i can sympathise with that (am struggling LP also!)...but even if they don't ask you have every right to tell them how hard it is, have a good moan or just offload a bit. You don't need to be prompted to say "it's been a hard day / week / month etc" and explain why. You can just also say that you don't mean to go on and on about it, that it's just good to let it out sometimes! They will understand, especially if they are your friends.
Also don't be afraid to ask for help, although I also know how hard that is too. It also feels like no-one will really help and that you are burdening them but there might be little things they can do, especially if you have let them know things are difficult.
How old are your kid/s? If currently just very young hang in there as it does get easier! If older then I have little experience beyond the age of 2.5 (which is miles easier than a baby), but hope it does get easier for you. 
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I too think mentioning the single parent thing would be jumped on op
I totally get where you are coming from though. I had pnd, and then lost my parents within four months of each other. I got told many times a day " You are doing great" blah de blah
I really wasn't! I feel it was too much for some people to actually ask how I was doing. For some it was the awkwardness but for others it was the fear of having to actually help me 
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