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AIBU?

Letter from the schoolw

66 replies

TiredButFine · 28/06/2015 00:42

So today I received a letter addressed " to the parents/carers of [child's full name] with my exact address.
I opened it so I could return it to the sender, I live alone and have no children. No-one else has ever lived here, it's a new build.
The letter was from a local school asking for after school club fees to be paid in respect of this girl.
AIBU to think this is really odd to address a letter like this with the child's fullname? Is this a normal thing for schools? WIBU to enclose a strongly- worded note about keeping kid's details confidential? Or do I just put "wrong address, sorry" i honestly don't know as I don't have kids!

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Littlefish · 28/06/2015 00:46

It's absolutely normal to put a child's full name on a letter. They've just got the address wrong.

You would be completely unreasonable to send a strongly worded note. Just return it to the school.

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karbonfootprint · 28/06/2015 00:47

completely normal, what exactly is your issue with it?

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CrystalHaze · 28/06/2015 00:48

That's the way all letters to my children are addressed. What are your concerns about confidentiality breaches due to their full name being used?

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JohnCusacksWife · 28/06/2015 00:48

So you know a child's name? No big deal. Just return the letter with a note saying the address is wrong. No need for anything more.

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MidniteScribbler · 28/06/2015 02:26

Why did you even open it if it wasn't your name or the name of your child on the front? Just return to sender.

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TiredButFine · 28/06/2015 10:49

There was no return address to return to sender. And as it was clearly about a child, I wanted to ensure the sender got the letter back safely and knew they had the wrong address. Therefore I opened it.

As I said, I have no understanding of whether this is normal practice.
Back in the days when I was at school they were pretty hot on checking our contact details and carer details so it seemed really odd to me.

Also mumsnet often mentions letters home in schoolbags, emails home, and being refused entry to after school club for non-payment, so it seemed odd that this was sent via royal mail in this way.

Thanks for replies, it seems this is the done thing so I'll just return to sender.

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DonkeyOaty · 28/06/2015 10:52

Yes letters from school here are addressed to parents/carers of Joe Bloggs

As are medical letters

Standard stuff. Just send back with a note saying Oh dear wrong address please amend your records.

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AuntieStella · 28/06/2015 10:55

Yes, it is normal practice.

Yes, it is OK to put a child's name on an envelope in the post, and always has been.

It'll be a typo in the address. Return to sender by the most convenient means.

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TiredButFine · 28/06/2015 10:56

My concern was that I am able to know the child's name, gender, primary school and pattern of after school club attendance.
Obviously I'm not going to do anything with that info, it just seemed to me that it was highlighting "this letter contains info about a young girl" and that could attract someone dodgy.
Not the same thing exactly but I have done a load of safeguarding training on internet moderation and web safeguarding, we are always told to look out for "patching" that's where different posts, pictures and articles give enough info for someone to be able to find a child. The exact example given was about different bits enabling someone to follow them to school one day. Hence my concern, as I said I don't have kids so who better to ask than mumsnet!

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Icimoi · 28/06/2015 11:00

There was no need to open the letter in order to return it. You could have just marked it "Not known, return to sender" and put it in the postbox and the Post Office would have sorted it out.

YWBU to open a letter not addressed to you.

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SaucyJack · 28/06/2015 11:03

Trunky want a bun? Wink

It's quite standard for schools/GPs/HVs to address stuff the "the parent or carer of John Smith"

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TheFallenMadonna · 28/06/2015 11:10

You know all that information because you opened a letter not addressed to you. You would have known the same information if it had been addressed to a parent and you had opened it. To say you opened it because it had a child's name on it seems a bit odd.

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BlinkingHeck · 28/06/2015 11:24

Yes you ABU, the only reason you know those details is because you opened someone else's mail.

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TiredButFine · 28/06/2015 11:28

Well as it was clearly about as child, I thought it better that I open it so I could return it safely rather than sending it into whoever else's hands.

That's exactly my point- it was obviosly about a child so it being in the general post advertising that seemed to be a risk to me.

I know I've had safeguarding training and an enhanced DBS for working with children, I thought it was better I opened it than put it back in circulation in the post.

But obvs IWBU as sending letters addressed "to the parent of x" is a normal thing. I've explained why I thought that was odd and risky.

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TheFallenMadonna · 28/06/2015 11:32

If it has your address on it, who else is it going to be delivered to if you mark it "not at this address"?

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WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 28/06/2015 11:32

Are we so paranoid now about children that we think that even their names are private information?
You shouldn't have opened it, it wasn't addressed to you. You know the information because you opened someone else mail.

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CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 28/06/2015 11:37

Its illegal to open someone else's mail, isn't it?

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AgentProvocateur · 28/06/2015 11:40

Your reasoning is bizarre Hmm

Mountain. Molehill.

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DonkeyOaty · 28/06/2015 11:40

So you are saying that Royal Mail staff, particularly DLO, are nefarious and untrustworthy? Because that's who would handle a letter returned to a post box with "not at this address" scrawled over.

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WorraLiberty · 28/06/2015 11:41

All the letters from my DC's school are addressed to "The parent/carers of child 00152 nod nod, wink wink, secret squirrel"

I thought they all were nowadays?

On a different note, it would have been franked with the school's name on it. So quite easy to send back to the school without opening.

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WayneRooneysHair · 28/06/2015 11:41

You only know the child's name because you opened a letter that wasn't addressed to you.

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DonkeyOaty · 28/06/2015 11:44

Grin at secret squirrel.

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Topseyt · 28/06/2015 11:45

Perfectly normal practice. Letters from schools, GPs, hospitals, libraries and any official body regarding children are normally addressed like this. I don't see why you think it is a problem at all.

Next it will be suggested that children's names should never be called in public due to confidentiality.

When I get letters which have been wrongly addressed I do not open them. I just write "Not resident here, return to sender".


That is what you should have done. By not doing so YOU have breached the child's confidentiality, no one else has.

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ShatnersBassoon · 28/06/2015 11:52

Do you really think the best way to keep a child's personal data confidential is to open a letter addressed to their parents?

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RedRugNoniMouldiesEtc · 28/06/2015 11:53

All letters relating to children are sent "parent /guardian of....." from schools, hospitals, Dr's and anything else. How else would it reach the right person? Not everyone is Mrs Sending letters through royal mail is also standard, how else do you suggest they communicate?

You are jumping at shadows to say the least. I'd be more worried that they have your address and are defaulting on a bill.

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