Ffs, Is this too much to ask ????(39 Posts)
I warn everyone, this is going to be a really grumpy post but Ffs !! Dsc's here for weekend, both teenagers.. Both have own rooms, TV/tablets etc, but by 6:50 one had already been in our room (woken me up) to tell us he is making a cake for Father's Day, closely followed by the other who 'just wanted to ask daddy if he would take her into town to get something she needs.. ' the bloody shops wouldn't have opened for another 2 hrs ! I don't know why it's wound me up so much this morning, they have always been like it - I suppose it's partly because it's behaviour that I hoped they would grow out of over the last 10yrs and partly because of the complete blinkered attitude they both have. Not once do they consider that my other 2 dscs and 3 dcs (all late teens who live with us full time when not at Uni) are still asleep. This morning they have crashed around the house turning on food mixers, slammed doors, shouted at each other...etc etc . This behaviour has become so annoying to myself and the others that they have all started staying over with various friends when these two visit. Which is polarising the family into DH, me and older 5 for ten days a fortnight, and DH/me plus non resident 2 dcs for two days.. We had a family birthday last night so all stayed here - but the shouting and complaints are coming thick and fast this morning, it's like they do it on purpose. No one but me remonstrates with DH as these two can do no wrong and are just 'getting on with the day' whereas myself and dcs/dscs are just slugabeds.. Wasting our lives away.. ( I work full time m-f and am up at 5:30 am every work day) AIBU to think that 13/14 yr olds should be more than capable of staying in their rooms until at least 8:30 and then showing some kind of consideration until the rest of the household is awake. ?
He really needs to get through to them that in a large family, everything doesn't revolve around them, and that they have to think about the others.
YANBU,that would drive me mad.They should stay in their rooms or go watch TV quietly until 9am on a weekend.No need for that carry on.
YANBU. And I'd say that if they were your bio children too.
Teenagers are well past the age at which one can get away with waking your parents early on a weekend for anything short of fire or a heart attack.
Have you actually asked them? If they are early risers and your family are not, I can see how irritating it would be.
Just ask them to keep quiet til 9am, or whatever suits. Compromise will be key here I think.
I don't think they should stay in their rooms but they could be quiet! DP often gets up at 6am, and used to make a racket until I explained that banging doors/clanging plates sounds bloody loud when you're trying to sleep. Now he moves around quietly and I don't hear anything. Tell them if they're going to get up early they can do it quietly
Yanbu it drives me mad that my 7 and 4 year old currently do the above-if they're still doing it when teenagers who I will be moving out!
I get the waking you bit but personally I dislike the 'laying around all day' types so that would get on my nerves. As they are only with you limited time maybe get up and give them a hand?
I couldnt cope with that. Forget DH setting them straight, it is your room and your sleep being affected. Just tell them it is ridiculous behaviour and they arent to come into your bedroom
at all in the mornings. And that they are to be respectful of everyone else in the house and keep noise to a minimum.
Is the problem with your DH? Is he scared to make boundaries as he doesn't see them that often?
Are they just walking straight into your room?
Our 8 year old isn't allowed to wake us until 8am at the earliest on a Sunday (on Saturdays we have to be up and out early anyway). She's really good about it. I'd expect teenagers to leave you alone until you surface, unless there's an emergency. Sounds like your dh needs to give them a strict talking to and set some boundaries.
If that happened in our house, the oldetr dcs would soon sort it out!
If your dh thinks its okfor them to be up and about that early, maybe he could get up and take them out, or at least supervise them . its not surprising they want to be with their dad, and if they are early birds, he needs to arrange it so that your sleep is not disturbed.
I think YABU - kick dh out of bed to be with them, they only get to see him for a dhort period of time, why should it be wasted sleeping!?
YADNBU that's a ridiculous time to be getting up on a weekend morning!!
My youngest two are 7 and 4 and they'd get sent back to bed at that time!
Teens are old enough to have some consideration for others and should be quiet if they are awake so early not disturbing everyone in the household.
YANBU. Teens should not be waking you up, bar fire/other emergency. Do they knock on the door at least?! I hope so...
time to sit everyone down and ask them to respect the habits of others. How would the early risers feel if the night owls were banging and crashing etc.
saucyjack fire/heartattack. Hahaha . the most irritating part is that DH bounds out of bed to join them in early morning mayhem..made worse by the fact that he is ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE to shove out of bed on a weekday..I have to poke him at least 5 times between 6 and 6:15 when I leave...Thanks to all the posters, I have asked politely several times but they are so thick skinned it's just ignored and I am told not to go on about it 'because it's their house too' - well it's also the house of myself and 5 others who also have a right to a lie in at the weekends (and by lie in I don't mean tiptoeing around until midday - but 9am I think is fair). I suppose I just find this sort of behaviour very irritating as most have grown out of it by 5/6 and I was especially spoilt because mine have all loved their beds/sleep and usually would have to shoe horn them out !!
I have decided to tackle this head on now as it is affecting the family. It has become so that the visiting two rarely see their two siblings and 3 step siblings.. They simply regards them as irritating , so steps have to be taken. I kind of knew I wasn't being unreasonable but always good to get other PoV.
They shouldn't be waking you up and they should be quiet but if they are early birds, they are early birds. They can be up but quiet. Good on your dh for getting up and joining them.
It is not your responsibility to get him out of bed on weekdays btw.
Up at ten to seven, excited to be making their dad a Father's Day cake - DISCUSTING!!!!!!!
'It's their house too' is not excuse, I remember being woken up every weekend by my 'early bird' teen sibling and it drove me insane. Even if I'd been started work all week at 6am, outside my door would be 'Mrs, have you got work today, have you seen this, mum says do this', all at some unholy hour of my day off. I know it's not as easy for you to tell them to stop (think I had a few more choice words than that), but could you sit down with them and their dad? Say that the weekend is for everyone, that means respecting your quiet time in the morning. Quiet time means no coming into the bedroom bar disaster, no loud music/tv, and if the two if them can't have a non-argumentative conversation, avoid each other until everyone is up. Tell your husband if they don't comply, you'll be enjoying a spa hotel every time his little darlings visit.....(I'm joking...mostly).
I was going to say you should be a bit more tolerant but then I read that they're teenagers, not three year olds. YANBU.
kittens, if he is bounding out of bed to join them, then why doesn't he just get up early, nip out of the room quietly etc? No wonder you're complaining. What a nightmare.
it being their house too is no reason to disturb the peace and quiet of others. I am a terrible sleeper and a light sleeper, so one thing I will say is sometimes you do have to explain to others just how awful you feel when your sleep is disturbed - if you're like me, it's disturbed by enough things anyway.
You may have to start on the earplugs though.
agree, you don't need to wake him up by the way.
YANBU. You and DH need to talk about house rules and set firm guidelines.
Or you could let them walk in on you having morning sex. Theres no way they would ever go near your room again.
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