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to ask what your DC's most outrageous strategy is for not going to bed?

(41 Posts)
buffythemuffinslayer Fri 12-Jun-15 21:24:42

DS is 4, and has recently mastered the art of trying to pull the wool over my eyes.

So far this evening he has needed a poo twice (no poo has happened), had too many toys in his bed)(he put them there, not the toy fairy) and SPIDERMAN has told him that it is in fact not bed time, it's Web time. Also, that the rain said it was morning, apparently with great urgency.

I mean, good use of rhyme, but seriously?

Every night it's the same - increasingly fantastical and convoluted excuses not to sleep. I can still hear him pottering about.

Do other DC's do this? And yes, I am having a glass of wine for the old nerves...

ghostyslovesheep Fri 12-Jun-15 21:26:01

tummy ache
a drink of water
'I've drawn you a picture/ written a poem'
'Is Bloody Mary real'
I need the cat
kiss me

buffythemuffinslayer Fri 12-Jun-15 21:29:43

Ah yes - kiss me. Again. Again. Again. Again!

ceeveebee Fri 12-Jun-15 21:30:02

My 3 yo DD has the same standard list of reasons every night - her toys are not lined up right, her blanket isn't perfectly straight, she needs a wee, needs a poo, needs some water, needs 10 kisses from mummy and on and on. Then tonight she said she couldn't go to sleep as her body wouldn't let her eyes close??

YouPooPooBumBum Fri 12-Jun-15 21:31:49

My 4 year old hides. Funnily enough we always find her. She hides in the same place every day at 7.30.

buffythemuffinslayer Fri 12-Jun-15 21:35:21

ceevee her body not letting her eyes close is actually pretty good! I use that sometimes.

DS' teddies look at him funny sometimes, so they have to face the wall or be escorted out of the inner sanctum.

It's gone quiet. Going to risk going up to check... donning stealth suit...

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Fri 12-Jun-15 21:35:47

I'm too hot
I'm too cold
I fell out of bed
I'm too tired to sleep
I'm thirsty
I'm hungry
I want some warm milk
I can't find x toy
It's too dark
It's too light

Unfortunately the DDs are 9 and almost 12. I wish I could tell you it gets better but they just get more inventive.

That's if we can get them into bed at all. "5 more minutes" should be DD1's nickname. I think their very best trick is to be super quiet when they know it's bedtime in the hopes that DH and I won't notice them and forget to send them to bed. Sadly for us it actually works sometimes grin

MyNameIsSuz Fri 12-Jun-15 21:39:12

Mine's only 2 so his excuses aren't that sophisticated yet, mostly needing a poo, but tonight we had 'i need elephant!!!' 'Where is elephant?' 'I threw him' - chucking his toys across the room just so he can genuinely get upset he doesn't have them. Well played boy, well played.

ginmakesitallok Fri 12-Jun-15 21:40:08

Both of mine have always gone to bed no problem, it's once we get downstairs that the shouting starts.
"Dad!! Daaad! Daaaaaad!!!!"

:"yes dd2?"

"Where's Barkie? I need Barkie!!!)

Dp finds Barkie and delivers her to ddw. 5 minutes later

"dad! Daaad!! Daaaaaad!"

"What is it dd2???"

"I'm hungry!!"

Dp delivers food to dd2

"Mum! Muum! Muuuuummmm!"

" Oh (ffs) what is it dd2? Get to SLEEP!!"

"mum. I love you"

" Love you too, get to SLEEP! "

Every bloody night.

MyNameIsSuz Fri 12-Jun-15 21:41:37

Oh, and not forgetting the nightly brazen lie - 'my gro clock is yellow'. No it bloody isn't, I can see it, and I know what time I set it for!

flamingtoaster Fri 12-Jun-15 21:41:54

One Christmas Eve DD came down a long time after we had put the DC to bed explaining, "My toenails need to be cut."

LoveAnchor Fri 12-Jun-15 21:42:45

Oh yes, after many dozens of all of those, my DD (5y old at the time) came to the living room, something like two hours past bedtime, to say that children in Africa don't have access to fresh water, and we need to do something about it. Now!

Beat that. hmm

cathpip Fri 12-Jun-15 21:49:27

My 6 year olds best excuse was that "Australia were being to noisy and keeping him awake"

wigglesrock Fri 12-Jun-15 21:49:30

My 4 year old told me last week that she couldn't sleep because she had too much Taylor Swift in her head smile

ScrambledEggAndToast Fri 12-Jun-15 21:53:25

DSs was quite good the other day I must admit. I had taken to removing all electrical equipment from him ie iPad/phone/Xbox controller. I put the iPad in it's case on charge and got into bed. At some point, I must have got up to go to the loo and he snuck in, took the iPad and carefully replaced the charger so it looked like it was charging shockshock No idea how long he's been doing that for but I only noticed when I went to move the iPad in its case to get something from behind it. He's 12 btw.

buffythemuffinslayer Fri 12-Jun-15 21:53:41

loveanchor where did DD pick that up?! Impressive excuse-making.

Pleased to report that DS is now ... drumroll ... asleep. Upside-down and with the head of a dragon he has somehow prised away from the body in his fist. But asleep.

And silence.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Fri 12-Jun-15 21:56:52

Oh these are just so cute smile Toenails, starving children in Africa, noisy Australians, Taylor Swift...!!

meglet Fri 12-Jun-15 22:00:28

a couple of years ago dd (then 4) wandered downstairs crying. she couldn't sleep because she was sad about the dodo's hmm .
We'd been to the NHM not long before so was obviously playing on her funny little mind.

Melawen Fri 12-Jun-15 22:03:22

DD (3) isn't too bad at the moment, but I think the best one far is that it's too dark, despite the little bedside light in the corner and the open door! MY best trick is to let her have a book to 'read', which she does and then rolls over!

CandyAppleFudge Fri 12-Jun-15 22:05:14

It's too hot
It's too cold
Dad didn't say goodnight
I want the dogs
I want the kittens
I don't want the dogs
I don't want the kittens
Can I have a drink?
I need the toilet
Can I sleep in your bed?

Thoughtfulduck Fri 12-Jun-15 22:06:12

Just going to leave this here grin

DawnOfTheDoggers Fri 12-Jun-15 22:07:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Fri 12-Jun-15 22:08:11

Today, for afternoon nap avoidance, we had "I'm too naughty to sleep" from 2 yo dd.

BabyOnBoob Fri 12-Jun-15 22:09:21


My dd is nearly 1 so I've got all this fun piss taking to look forward to.

chippednailvarnish Fri 12-Jun-15 22:11:25

Charlie's (of Charlie and Lola fame) trousers keep falling down. Every. Single. Night.

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