Family wedding (DH's sister) is next weekend, we will be bringing DD1 2.5, and DD2 who will be 4 weeks and is breastfed.
The wedding is a four hour drive away in a hotel, we are driving there after bedtime the night before the wedding with kids in PJs etc as DH can't finish work any earlier. On the day of the wedding the church is about an hour drive away, following which everyone will return to the hotel for drinks, family photos, followed by dinner etc.
The plan which I had agreed with DH and the bride before DD2 was born was that I wouldn't go to the church, but would obviously be there for the rest of the day / evening. One of the brides best friends will have a slightly older baby and is planning to do the same. We have organised a babysitter from 5pm for DD2 and I can nip out to feed her as needed. DD1 will be (hopefully!) mostly supervised by her cousins but will also need minding throughout the day. DH will obviously want to enjoy himself at his DSis's wedding, which I'm fine with, but managing the kids, putting DD1 to bed etc, will be mostly down to me on the day.
Anyway, the wedding is next week, there is a huge backstory but essentially the pre-wedding emotional shit has hit the fan, and the pressure is on me to attend all parts of the day. I'm really worried that I'll end up with an unfed, overtired, screaming baby at some point, whether it's the church, photos or whatever, and will end up totally stressed by the whole day. The newborn isn't a great sleeper, and I have some milk expressed but not enough for the whole day. None of my family are available to come with us and there aren't enough rooms in the hotel anyway.
I do want to be at the church, and it would be much appreciated by the ILs, but is it totally unrealistic to consider doing the whole day? Will I end up missing most of the day anyway sat in a corner feeding? Or am I overthinking and stressing about something which will actually be fine? I attended weddings with DD1 as a baby but with family backup so the thought of doing this is freaking me out! And that's before I even think about my outfit...
AIBU?
About wedding arrangements and newborn
dependentspouse · 30/05/2015 22:06
Congratulations on your baby :) 
I think the baby will have a terrible night the day before and you just will not be able to get there for the ceremony....
they are being VU, they should be grateful you are even thinking about going 5 hours away!
I have a sling but have never fed from it.
I am reserving the 'terrible night' excuse for the party the day after the wedding, which I am considering missing and being snuggled up in the hotel room with DD2 and room service 
. I kind of need to make a call on the day of the actual wedding to keep the peace....
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Why not just feed the baby in church? My church would rather have a happy baby being fed in whatever way than a hungry baby. Everyone else's attention is on the ceremony anyway.
Jesus must have been breast fed, formula hadn't been invented
Some time you just have to think sod it and brave it for everyone else's benefit. Its one day so the baby will survive. I think you.may have to stick a very small pin in her though so you can go to feed for an hour.
or dd1 develops an --unfortunate-
bout of d&v this week
I'd say no problems to feed the baby at church if you need to, sit near the back, near a door and pop out to another room to feed if you feel more comfortable doing that.
Personally, I'd stick to doing whatever you want to and ignore everyone else. You have a 4wk old and TBH I would probably have bowed out myself.
We're off to a family wedding when DC2 will be about 9wks old and we're staying on site (wedding and reception both at a hotel). I'll be in for the ceremony with DC2 if he's quiet or out somewhere feeding if not. I doubt I'll be missed much in the official photos but I expect there will be informal family ones required and they'll either need to be done without me or fit in around DC2's feeds (or indeed have me BFing in them )
However, DH will be on DD1 duty all day so I can focus on DC2. It's his family wedding (cousin rather than sibling) but we'll have two children including a nearly newborn so he won't be shirking any parenting responsibilities. Although your DH might want to let his hair down all day, I do think he should look after your DC1 at the very least until the babysitter arrives for DC2. He should also help with bedtimes etc. Not to say he can't have a little drink but I'd be well p*ed off if DH got bladdered while I dealt with two children for most of the day. In all honesty, if that was what was likely to happen, then I'd just let him go on his own and I'd stay at home.
Going against consensus here but I'd find a 4 week baby much easier to deal with in a church than a 2.5 year old. Newborns are pretty portable and a boob is usually all they need to keep them happy.
I'd take your baby to the church and if she starts screaming move to a back pew and feed there. Feeding during the photos wont be a problem either. It takes so bloody long to get all the bridal ones done you'll be pleased to have a perfect excuse to need a sit down. They'll just have to do the ones your needed for according to your dd's demands. Rest of the day - perfect excuse. Fancy a quiet moment? - oh dear, the baby needs a change. Fancy a lie down? - what a coincidence, the baby needs a feed. Fancy a dance with dh? There'll be a row of doting aunties and grannies longing to have a cuddle.
An over-excited toddler though, I'd leave that to your dh to sort out. 
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Have you married into the Kardashians? 
I would feel fine about doing as advised above, ie smile and agree and then on the day just say baby was restless. However, you could also consider going to the church, sitting near the back with DD2 and getting your husband to take DD1 with him. It's a case of sitting with her in church - even for his sister's wedding that should be doable! I would then make it known that DD2 needs an urgent nappy change when back at the hotel and tell them to go ahead for photos without you.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.