I don't want to reveal too much but PILs are basically treating my DH as a puppet on a string and dangling inheritance as the carrot. He is involved in work with them, has been all his life, has little other skills and experience to move elsewhere. They will not allow him to pursue what he wants, but convince him to stay in a branch of the family business (in pretty much abstract poverty) with the promise that very soon it will be his, they will pass it over and he can develop it as he likes. For years now my dh has had his business plans and strategy for how he would do this and it is really, really impressive and inspiring but without the ownership or power to make any changes thy remain ideas until this promised day of ownership. 1 year ago he left and tried to pursue other things, it went badly for him being outside of his normal trade and hugely damaged his confidence. His parents promised him they would hand over his branch of the business (4 children who work in this) to him if he returned. Now we are back to square one - carrot dangling, DH's confidence so low that he is convinced this is the only way he can contribute to our family longer term, and Pils showing no inclination other than empty promises to allow him any freedom.
I am not upset about whether we own it or not - I am half of the opinion it is a curse rather than a blessing, but I am furious with m Pils and their treatment of my DH. If they just said No we want to hold onto this then DH could walk and find another career path - it'd be hard but he'd have no choice; Equally they could stick to their promise and say here you go make it work with your ideas and we'd go with that. But the position we are in is one where we have no control or power in decision making but DH does all the work for extremely little reward (i.e. free (he gets some of the profits and run as they want it to be run its makes no profit!!)). He s now only holding on as they keep saying and promising they will give him full control.
I cannot understand how they can treat their son like this - it is leading him to hove anxiety, huge amounts of stress and impacting every part of him. I am trying to support him and try to accommodate them but I just want us as far away as possible as I feel they like the power too much and will never relinquish control but the promise of doing so is enough to keep DH so that is what they do. MIL even said that she knew DH would 'fail' to find a job outside the industry. Truth was just as he was on the cusp of succeeding they reeled him back in again and at that time I supported it as I genuinely thought he'd be happy.
We've just had another conversation with them, same promises, same lack of action and I am left absolutely raging at them
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
Raging with PILs (and to some extent DH!) long, compicated, power, control, inheritence :-(
38 replies
MiddleOfChaos · 11/05/2015 21:30
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.