To file for divorce from my husband of four years for lying?
To cut the long version short, he lies to me about loads of things. Big and small. He lies about finances and what he spends his money on (he refuses to have a joint account). He lies about what he is doing online - he spends all his time tapping away on his phone. A year ago, I caught him on a site leaving flirty comments on pictures of women and noticed he had joined 'Closed' groups on Facebook that were pretty questionable. I confronted him, and he was all apologies and 'agreed' with me that it was inappropriate to join these groups as a married man.
Tonight, though, Facebook flags up to me that he has joined one of these closed groups again. I went into the bedroom and asked him calmly if he remembered the agreement we had made about him not joining these groups. He said he did remember it. I then asked if he had joined any more groups. He said no, definitely not. So I told him I knew he was lying.
He then changed tactics and told me that it was OK to join that group because it was not a NEW group but one of the old ones that I 'knew about' (????) I said, no, it doesn't work like that, we made an agreement. Then he began talking about how he only made the agreement in the first place so I wouldn't mention it any more, but did not agree that he should stop joining these groups because he didn't 'plan to do anything'.
Am I unreasonable to think that, whether you 'agree' or not, if you make a promise, you should honour it? Not just lie and then do whatever the heck you want? It seems very petty on one hand but it is the implications. I have shut down emotionally. I can't believe he tried to justify himself by saying It was ok for him to do it because he didn't agree with me. To me, I can't trust a word he says.
We live in a rented house and I have nowhere to go and nobody to turn to. I have a small job but it only pays £600 a month. On one side, it would be the best thing to just shut up and stay married but how can this be a real relationship?
Sorry for rambling but I am very distressed and upset, shaking and feeling sick while I write this and hoping for some perspective and help.
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To ltb for lying
49 replies
thesilentwoods · 30/04/2015 01:46
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