My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To be pissed off at dp interrupting me?

43 replies

saltedcaramelicious · 23/01/2015 18:03

My partner has a bad habit of interrupting me Angry
Today we were having a conversation about something normal and trivial to do with work, which I began. He them says a few sentences about it, and pauses for a few seconds. During this pause I say something along the lines of "yes and I think that is why -" and I am them cut off by DP launching into another comment linked to what he'd said before.

He does this often, I have mentioned it to him and he says he doesn't realise he's doing it. He does it when we are alone also in groups.
It's started to irritate me, to the point where when he interrupts me I lose all interest in the conversation and give up talking. I've found myself rushing my speech when I talk to him as I am anticipating being talked over.
When it happens in groups I feel even worse!

When he stops talking I feel like saying "as I was sayinf......"

If I ever accidentally interrupt anyone, I apologise and ask them to continue.

Why can't he do this?! Angry

And breathe....

OP posts:
Report
Theboodythatrocked · 23/01/2015 18:06

Get a wooden talking spoon and make him use it. No spoon no talk and he can't hog the spoon.

Report
Jengnr · 23/01/2015 18:07

Try 'I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence get in the way of the start of yours?'

Works when my husband does it. Annoying fucker.

Report
Singleandproud · 23/01/2015 18:13

I do it all the time. I don't mean too and I kick myself afterwards and apologise.

Report
Oldraver · 23/01/2015 18:17

I do say to my Mum....as I was saying or outright tell her I was talking

Report
roland83 · 23/01/2015 18:19

My boyfriend used to do this a lot... I just started to say how rude it was, time and time again.

Now he apologises if he accidentally interrupts me. You know, like a normal person. Grin

Report
Rinoachicken · 23/01/2015 18:30

My DH does this, doesn't realise it etc. I have started saying 'please let me finish' and he then apologises and looks suitably sheepish.

It's a habit but one that can be broken I think in time

Report
peachgirl · 24/01/2015 10:30

My mum, dad, and brother all do this to me and it drives me insane. I usually go with a steely-eyed glare (to quote Helen Fielding, Genghis-Khan-at-height-of-evil) and emphasise very clearly, "I was talking", which instants shames them into an apology. I think they really don't realise they're doing it, but it's so disrespectful.

Report
GoringBit · 24/01/2015 10:35

OH and I are both guilty of this from time to time, but mindfulness and the occasional death stare, we do it less than we used to.

OP keep calm, keep on (gently but clearly) when he does it, and things should change for the better.

Report
SanityClause · 24/01/2015 10:37

DH used to do this, and his mother does it, so to him, it is normal.

He used to do it to me, and to other people. If I caught him at it, I would always pull him up on it - "I am speaking", or "X was speaking".

He has improved greatly.

(When his mother does it, I wait for her to finish, and then start saying exactly what I was saying before the interruption. I don't think I have such a right to pull her up on manners, and also I don't see her often enough for it to be more than a little niggle.)

Report
googoodolly · 24/01/2015 10:47

I used to do this Blush. It's just a bad habit, it's not intentional. DP pulled me up on it and and kept doing so until I stopped. It's a hard habit to break really but it can be done. Just tell him how rude it is and do it EVERY time. He'll learn eventually. I did!

Report
ImBatDog · 24/01/2015 10:52

maybe its just a bad example, but if he's paused to think, and then carried on.. aren't you interrupting him?

Perhaps you should check if he's actually finished before speaking yourself, and then he wouldn't interrupt you?

Report
ScrambledEggAndToast · 24/01/2015 11:38

One of my real pet hates when people do this, best to pick them up on it. Or if you finish saying something and, without acknowledging what you've just said, they start talking about something completely different Angry I feeling like saying "Erm, excuse me, did you hear me?". Even if someone has just finished a five minute spiel on the worlds most boring topic I will at least acknowledge it.

Report
Gatehouse77 · 24/01/2015 11:42

My DH does this sometimes mainly because he's still thinking about his response and it's a pause rather than an end.
Still bloody frustrating at times.

If we're having a serious chat then we put a hand on our head when we've finished speaking!

Report
IHeartKingThistle · 24/01/2015 11:47

I do this a bit and then cringe. My mum does it all the time. I have experimented a few times with just keeping on talking when she interrupts to see if she will let me finish. She just keeps going no matter how long I do it for!

Report
GlitzAndGigglesx · 24/01/2015 11:47

Mine does this so I just say "I was talking" and carry on

Report
laughingmyarseoff · 24/01/2015 11:52

"Let me finishing making my point." or "As I was saying." or "My turn now." if you are unsure if he's finished.

Report
laughingmyarseoff · 24/01/2015 11:52

My turn now? rather

Report
ImperialBlether · 24/01/2015 12:04

I don't mean to suggest this of you, OP, but I've got a couple of friends who literally never shut up. They can talk for hours and hours without a break and if you didn't interrupt them you'd never speak. Has anyone else found a way around this?

Report
SaucyJack · 24/01/2015 12:12

I do it to DP but only when he's blithering on about something mind-numbingly dull.

Report
Summerisle1 · 24/01/2015 12:25

I have a friend who does this. Unfortunately, once she has the conversational bit between her teeth it becomes every more difficult to stop her. I'm afraid that I have now reverted to dealing with her as I did my dcs when they were very small. I simply say "I'm talking right now. Just let me finish". It is surprisingly successful although you really shouldn't need to treat an adult like a toddler!

Report
springlamb · 24/01/2015 12:31

DH and I do this a lot to each other. We recently realised that our dc (teens) do it too. So we are all trying to address it as a group - it sounds silly but whilst we are talking or making our point over the dinner table we hold our forefinger up. We also make a point of a thanking each other for listening.
At least during the recent 4 hour power cut we weren't at a loss for conversation and it always makes for lively dinner times. I suppose I should be glad that the dc have their opinions and can make points/debate/discussed. But who gave permission for their opinions to be so different from my own?!?

Report
CrispyFern · 24/01/2015 12:37

DH does this so I keep a packet of peanuts in my pocket and if he ever interrupts me I throw one at his forehead.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

ZombieApocalypse · 24/01/2015 12:37

DH has a bit of a tendency to do this which he seems to get from MIL. It drives me mad and I always pull him up on it now if he does it. Usually, I just say 'can I finish what I was saying?'

He has said he doesn't realise he's doing it but he does apologise when I point it out and makes an effort not to.

Report
DealForTheKids · 24/01/2015 12:41

I do this really badly. It's no excuse but DM, DF and DSis all do it - we're a real family of impatient debaters - chat is great but I am aware it's incredibly rude. DH knows when I'm about to do it and gives me a hard state which reminds me to shut up but its a hard habit to break!!

Report
ChocolateOranges · 24/01/2015 12:44

DH does this so I keep a packet of peanuts in my pocket and if he ever interrupts me I throw one at his forehead

Grin

This would encourage OH to do it all the more!

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.