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AIBU?

To carry on even if he's not very good?

50 replies

Pyjamaramadrama · 16/01/2015 22:00

This might sound really mean.

I took ds to football coaching a couple of years ago but he hated it so I gave in after a few weeks.

For ages now he has been asking to go back to football and I finally found a different one that fits in with other clubs, work and stuff.

He's been once and said he really enjoyed it. But from watching I felt so sorry for him, he seems to be really behind the other kids. During the game he just ran up and down doing air kicks. He was a bit better at the skills stuff but many times he wasn't doing what he was supposed to be and I could see he kept looking at the others for reassurance.

He told me that he isn't very good and couldn't get the ball but enjoyed it all the same and wants to go again. I of course said he did great and said that he'll get better and better with practice.

Tell me it will build his confidence and not knock it. As someone who hates competitive sports and found PE at school horrendous I really want him to have more confidence than me.

Tell me

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Pyjamaramadrama · 16/01/2015 22:01

I don't know where that extra tell me came from at the end I'm not demanding

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Palooza · 16/01/2015 22:03

He wants to go again. That's your answer. Doing something even though you aren't very good is an amazing life skill. pulling him out is telling him if he's not good at something he shouldn't do it!

CocktailQueen · 16/01/2015 22:04

How old is he? What sort of coaching is it? Competitive games etc or skills improvement? Think it might be better to go for skills coaching with less emphasis on playing matches. But yes of course he should continue going - he will improve and a good coach should be able to get the best of out every player.

Palooza · 16/01/2015 22:05

My DS3 is absolutely hopeless at sports - he has attention issues anyway. He did football last year. In the final match I was as proud of him running towards to ball for the first time ever (instead of away from it), as I am of his very sporty brother getting a shutout in hockey.

squoosh · 16/01/2015 22:06

You don't have to be good at something to enjoy it. He sounds like he's having a great time. And he's only been once, give him a chance. It might take a few weeks for him to find his feet so to speak.

ICanTotallyDance · 16/01/2015 22:08

Of course let him keep going if he wants to. He should improve quite quickly and even if he doesn't he'll be keeping fit and having fun. If the cost isn't a problem then I see no reason to not carry on.

Pyjamaramadrama · 16/01/2015 22:08

He's 6.

It's a bit of both half was spent on skills and half games, although the skills seemed a tiny bit advanced for ds. The course is advertised as being for all abilities including beginners but it is in year groups, and I suspect some have been going since reception.

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ThreeQuartersEmpty · 16/01/2015 22:09

Aww. He ran about doing air kicks imagining he's getting the ball.
Don't jump on those dreams. Let him go back since he wants to.
Doesn't matter if he's no good yet, encourage him.

CalleighDoodle · 16/01/2015 22:09

He enjoys it so let him carry on!

I was a bit disappointed when i opened this thread. I expected something entirely different...

Pyjamaramadrama · 16/01/2015 22:13

I'm just a worrier, I'm really proud of him just for getting stuck in and doing it and of course I'd never tell him he's no good. I just worry he'll feel bad.

In the Summer he joined in games with boys at the park and they ended up saying he couldn't play because he couldn't tackle. It broke my heart.

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AgentZigzag · 16/01/2015 22:15

There's nothing wrong with a bit of competition, some people thrive on it (I'm like you and didn't/don't either)

But you'll only know how it's going to affect him by letting him have a go. He just sounded nervous when you say about him not doing that much and looking for reassurance, he won't know what to do if it's his first time. Once he gets into the swing of things I'm sure it'll be different.

This isn't a criticism, but the way you've written it makes me wonder whether you're making it into more of a all/nothing, black/white situation, than it actually is in reality.

If he doesn't like it then encourage him to do something else, if he doesn't like that, move on to whatever else is available to you.

Pyjamaramadrama · 16/01/2015 22:15

Calleigh I see what you mean, sorry, it's been a very long day.

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UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 16/01/2015 22:16

He's only 6. He's got tonnes of time to get better, of course you keep taking him.

CalleighDoodle · 16/01/2015 22:17

Well i was expecting more along the lines of dh in the bedroom...

skylark2 · 16/01/2015 22:20

I'm not surprised he hated sports coaching at 4!

I would take him for as long as he likes it. At some point he may find that a team game in which he never gets the ball isn't much fun and want to stop, and I wouldn't push him after that.

There are lots of sports where it doesn't matter if you're as good as everyone else. DS is hopeless at school sports (he is always last in the whole school cross country race) but is working for his black belt in karate.

bunchoffives · 16/01/2015 22:21

Me too Calleigh.... it is Friday night after all

Pyjamaramadrama · 16/01/2015 22:21

Agentzigzag I probably am, perhaps reflecting my fears of competitive sport.

Totally relaxed about him swimming.

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ScotsWhaHae · 16/01/2015 22:23

I was the same with my 8 year old son, he just looked so awkward. But I think a lot of it is because I would watch him constantly during training and games. Focus on another child. Other than the odd premier league player in the making, they are all running around like headless chickens!

He's enjoying it, let him be.

AgentZigzag · 16/01/2015 22:23

Awww, he's only 6!

(From what I've read on here) I know some parents are positively aggressive go totally OTT when it comes to their DC playing football, but it's really not that important

I also know what you mean in that you don't want to be the one to set him up only to see it all turn to shit and him get hurt. Could you accept that that is maybe your problem (coming from your own experiences) and deal with any disappointments and problems he has as/when they come along.

Otherwise he's never going to learn how to tackle! (Although I have to say that I've made it to 43 without it ever holding me back )

Pyjamaramadrama · 16/01/2015 22:26

Skylark it is very young at 4, but there were loads of 4 year olds at the time and some were bloody brilliant, and are now even better at 6. Going by some of the dads at the sidelines they're probably at the park every weekend practicing.

You're all right I'm being daft, he'll soon tell me if he doesn't want to carry on and who knows how much he will improve.

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edwinbear · 16/01/2015 22:29

DS (5) goes to rugby and has recently moved to a different club where there is a greater emphasis on the game rather than skills and he sticks out like a sore thumb as being the worst there. It is hard to watch, sure, but he has done a few weeks there now and is getting better all the time, but best of all, last week, I saw one of the older boys come up to him and try and help him with something. That's the team work element of team sports.

I think if you have bad memories of sports it may feel worse to you than it does to him. For as long as he is enjoying it, let him go!

Leeds2 · 16/01/2015 22:29

I would let him carry on as long as he enjoys it.

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AgentZigzag · 16/01/2015 22:30

'perhaps reflecting my fears of competitive sport.'

I get a similar pit-of-your-stomach fear with anything to do with school

Most parents have fears about dealing with things they had a problem with as a DC I would say.

There are ways of getting through it all I use avoidance

ghostyslovesheep · 16/01/2015 22:34

oh lord he's SIX he will be a bit crap

DD2 went from that age and spent at least a season day dreaming while balls flew past her and she ran around aimlessly

then she got it and now, aged 10 she is a bloody demon - she's a brilliant player and aims to play for England one day

DD1 also plays and loves it but is not as good - we encourage both of them as they get so much out of it

Pyjamaramadrama · 16/01/2015 22:42

That's good to hear ghosty, I'm very reassured. Next time I'm just not going to watch him and fret. he's getting a good hour of exercise, meeting new friends and he can soon tell me if he stops enjoying it.

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