to ask how concerned I should be about 8yo in a toddler bed

[MsColouring]

My 8 year dd old still sleeps in a toddler bed when she has contact with her dad. AIBU to feel she should be in a proper sized bed by now? She says she sleeps fine in it. She also shares a very small room with her 5yo brother which I don't have an issue with at the moment but we do have a family history of early puberty (I started periods at 9) so it may become an issue in a couple of years.

[Jennifersrabbit]

Is she small for her age? DD is tiny and still fits a toddler bed quite comfortably at rising 7. It's surely a question of size of child vs size of bed and if she says she is comfy I wouldn't worry too much.

[RainbowFlutterby]

I'm >40 and sleep fine in a toddler bed. I couldn't do it every night, but it sounds like your DD doesn't either.

I wouldn't be concerned really.

[dietcokeandwine]

If it's just occasional use then it's probably not the end of the world, but I would be slightly worried about safety for the simple reason that those beds are not made to be used by children older than 4/5. Is she quite a petite 8? My toddler is in a cot bed (same dimensions as a toddler bed) and I would imagine a lot of 8yos would be fairly cramped in it...

I wouldn't worry about sharing with little brother at their current ages though as you say this won't be manageable long term.

[MsColouring]

She is quite petite.

[stickingpoint2]

The 5 year old is big enough to not need a low bed as well, so bunkbeds might be a space saving plan? If she is comfy it's fine, but perhaps asking if the plan is to get bunk beds/ separate rooms at some point?

[Purplepoodle]

I often find myself in my 2 year olds toddler bed and I sleep fine. It's exactly the same as an adult one just scaled down - proper spring matress ect. I only moved my 6 year old from the toddler bed when his younger brother came along.

[Purplepoodle]

Does their dad have space for them to sleep separately? If not I don't see the harm in them sharing for say one night a week if they get to spend time with their dad.

[hiccupgirl]

My DS is 5 and still has his IKEA bed on the middle setting which is about 150cm long I think. Longer than a toddler bed but similar setup in that adult DH quite happily sleeps in there if DS is in our bed and he wants some space. He just angles himself across the bed.

Maybe suggest getting some bunk beds?

[MsColouring]

I don't think there is an issue with them sharing for one weekend a fortnight and he doesn't have the space for them to sleep separately. But I don't think it will occur to him to give dd somewhere separate to change once she hits puberty and I don't think she would say if she was embarressed.

[Pixel]

Ds was in his toddler bed until he was over 7. I slept in it a few times and it was fine, it's very sturdy with a sprung mattress and actually lovely and comfy! Ds could have stayed in it a bit longer but we got dd a high sleeper and passed her old pine bed down to him.
We've still got the toddler bed in the garage, you've reminded me it's on my 'to-do' list to sell!

[greeneggsandjam]

I don't see the problem. Sounds fine to me.

[SaucyJack]

I assume there's a bathroom she can change in.

Unless their dad is on a very, very good salary I think YABU to expect him to have an ideal set-up for them if they're on there occasionally.

[Karoleann]

How tall is she? My 6 yo tried to sleep in DD's toddler bed last night and just didn't fit. If she says she's fine I wouldn't fuss.

Just tell her to let you or your ex know when it becomes uncomfy.

[skylark2]

Sounds fine to me - it's only occasional.

I shared caravan bunk beds with my brother on holiday until I got married and stopped going on family holidays at well past 20. The top bunk in those things is about 18 inches wide and 5'6 long, and of course there wasn't somewhere separate to change in a little caravan.

[TendonQueen]

Seems ok to me. I would deal with the puberty issue when it arises but that too can be managed. My 6yo is petite and still fits in a toddler bed so haven't changed it.

[DeWee]

How big is she and it?

Ds is still in his toddler bed, and he's 7.6yo. He feels very secure in there. But it is quite a big toddler bed. I wouldn't say I was comfortable if I lie down with him when he's ill, but I fit in with him.

[Cabrinha]

I'm 5'3" and 9 stone and can sleep occasionally in a toddler bed.
And for puberty - change in bathroom.

[ThisFenceIsComfy]

Loads of siblings with that age gap share. Maybe he could consider bunk beds though if room is quite small.

[mausmaus]

my tall 8yp currently sleeps in one due to an injury which means they can't climb up to their midsleeper.

it's they bed/their space. it's fine for now.

[Notso]

I end up in one a couple of nights a week with DS2 it's not the comfiest place in the world but I sleep. It's an actual toddler bed though, I can't get in DS3's which is a converted cot bed.
DS1 was in one until he was 7, and he is tall.

[ChippingInLatteLover]

Yabvu

I'm an adult, admittedly a short one (5ft), overweight. I can still sleep happily in a toddler bed.

Presumably your ex has a bathroom?

It used to be very common for mixed or same sex children room shared until one of them married & left home.

[MrsMook]

I didn't stop using the toddler bed until I was 11. I was in about age 5-6 clothes around then. As long as she's comfortable I don't know see an issue. (I have been known to share my children's cot when they've needed some comfort, and that ceases to be comfortable after two hours!)

[BertieBotts]

Some children can fit into them until about 9, I wouldn't worry about it in the slightest.

[BlackeyedSantaStuckUpAChimney]

as long as she has room to stretch out fully. fine.