To think it's bad manners to complain about your secret Santa gift?!

[ashmts]

Work secret Santa, first year I've done it. £10 budget and the woman I got loves chocolate so I got a choice of chocolate, some cadbury's (her favourite), some fancy stuff. Probably came to about £13-14. Anyway, in to work today and it's all round the department how much she hates it, she's had chocolate for the past few years, there was no effort put into it, it was just a fancy chocolate lolly.

AIBU to think even if you hate a gift you pretend it's nice? Particularly at work, and when you know the person will hear? I would have thought chocolate or wine would be pretty standard.

I should add that the gift I got was lovely and way over the £10 which makes me think maybe it's an unwritten rule that you go over budget. Also the woman herself is usually nice and I haven't heard her complain but she must have told a few people she hates it for it to get round the department. I'm quite upset, I really tried to get something she would like.

[Staywithme]

She may have passed a comment about the fact that she gets chocolate every year and someone has blown it out of proportion. I wouldn't pay too much to it as it sounds like some is using this as an opportunity to shit stir. Or you could ask her if she liked her secret Santa present and see what she says. I remember one ignorant recipient chucking her secret Santa present across the room and saying "what would I do with that shit"! It was a lovely wooden bowl and I'm sure the person who bought it was mortified or pissed off. No it wasn't me. I've never seen the point of getting annoyed over a secret Santa gift. Just give it to someone else if you don't like it.

[LokiBear]

Totally bad manners to moan.

[Theorientcalf]

Bad manners to moan about chocolate, that's much nicer than the chipped picture frame I got one year. I take it I can moan about that?

[Dipankrispaneven]

Bad manners to moan. However, I do think chocolate is a bit of a cop-out. I tend to go for things like scarves, mugs, fancy tea, colourful socks and gives etc.

[ashmts]

Yeah it is a cop-out but I thought I was playing safe! She had a big birthday earlier this year and got a load of chocolate as part of her present, it's well known that she likes it.

It might be other people blowing it out of proportion. The worst bit was when another woman (prime candidate for shit stirring) started telling me 'did you hear what X got?' and bitching like it was a funny story. I really was mortified.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

OP, I would have bought chocolate too if it's a known fact that she likes it.

How can you go wrong with chocolate?

I had the Secret Santa from hell, film based [ I got Lion King] and bought wine and nibbles based on an African theme.

I fucking loathe Secret Santa, it's an arse!

[AskBasil4StuffingRecipe]

Oh my word.

I never knew Secret Santas could be so political.

People should just be bloody grateful for what they've got.

[Nabootique]

In this case I would say she IBU, but I have been guilty of moaning about a secret Santa gift myself in the past

[Cornettoninja]

She or the shit stirrer is rude.

Granted it's not the most imaginative but it's something she likes and will get used. What's not to like? Unless you send out a group email specifying acceptable gifts for your secret Santa you take it as it comes.

[SharonBu]

I think it is bad form to complain at all. I got soap again, which I have got for the last 2 years. Didn't complain, just said "mmmm that smells nice". Then I gave it to the kids to microwave as a science experiment.

[AngieBolen]

Very very rude.

I got a bit overwhelmed by secret Santa at work. I went very quiet and said a little thank you. I was actually very touched by the box of chocolates I received ( I think they cost more than the £5 limit). If I'd hated it is have put on a big pretence that I was pleased....I really hope I've not offended the giver.....

So I really think your colleague is very rude. I have a lovely, supportive colleague who is openly rude about secret Santa gifts. No ones perfect.

[Flissypix]

My DH got a Rustler burger, a poem about how he should eat better(The cheek) and a good food magazine to inspire him! I was furious on his behalf. He smiled and said thank you and only complained to me lol.
Complaining about a gift is rude! Especially chocolate.

[DaisyFlowerChain]

Yes, very rude to complain about any gift.

Our secret Santa is fab but some places do a joke one or don't put much effort in. Once known, it's easy to opt out of the following year.

[wowfudge]

Not as bad as the person I work with who had ebayed their disliked Secret Santa gift before the end of the day they received it! It was a bit naff, but I'd have demonstrated more humour about it and put it on my desk.

[CalleighDoodle]

My SS Gift this year was awesome! Perfect! But we do a likes and dislikes list, so someone would write dislike: chocolate as i will get loads. I got mine three things off her list. Problem solved.

[whitebits]

Bad manners to moan. However a work colleague of mine once received a single tea light holder (or was it a dish to put your used tea bag in ? We couldn't decide !) She almost launched it the length of the office shouting "they didn't even give me a fucking tea light in it !!" I laughed so hard a wee bit of pee came out. And it wasn't even a fancy tea light holder, sure I saw similar ones in the £ shop....

[cinders456]

Haha. A colleague once bought me some fluffy childrens animal puppets..

[mushypeasontoast]

I was a bad secret santa this year. I had a 17yr old male that I have never met. Was going to get him a big box of heroes but had sold out so got him some beckham deoderant instead.

[ashtrayheart]

I got a shit present one year and it turned out to be my best mate at work who had bought it! I nearly slagged it off to her too but luckily i played it safe and she told me she had got it (for some bizarre reason thought I would like it ) not saying what it was in case she sees this!

[Nabootique]

Oh, I want to say what mine was now others are sharing! It was two cups (second hand and - I have no problem with second hand but budget £10 and even new these would have been nowhere near), a jar of hot chocolate and a selection of those double packs of pink wafers you get in hotel rooms, all cling filmed into a shoe box lid!

[BettyRooster]

I once got a ream of paper, straight from the supply cupboard I suspect.

[PhaedraIsMyName]

It is bad manner but as I see it, it's not so much bad manners as utterly bonkers and more to be pitied behaviour.

I find it difficult to imagine anyone has so little going on in her life (or her head) that she could work up the energy to complain to colleagues about this. And if someone did I think I'd be backing away and remembering I had an urgent appointment.

[PhaedraIsMyName]

I got these 2 books. No idea out of a group of 16 , 5 of whom are definitely eliminated who it was. They are perfect and I was very touched. Also more than twice the budget.

www.amazon.co.uk/Lost-Cat-Story-Desperation-Technology/dp/1408835576?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1447279409/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_twi_2?qid=1419628428&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SY200_QL40&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[SuperFlyHigh]

My friend got at her secret Santa at her work (she's a contract worker the rest are perm) two tea light holders wooden star and Christmas tree (no tea lights). They also didn't tell her when they were doing it and freeze her out in other ways (hot desking etc) she complained to me and not to them! However for her secret Santa she bought she put a lot of thought into it (warm socks, foot lotion etc for someone who complains about cold feet) and it was received very well.

My office luckily we don't do this. If/or it can get political!