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To ask DH to take nude pics down in the room that I tutor

(59 Posts)
bananacarnival Mon 24-Nov-14 14:18:00

DH is an artist, his paintings are all abstract and all over the house but his sketches of male nudes have been making an appearance in our living room which happens to be where I tutor children (primary).
He's adamant that there's nothing wrong with it and gets agitated every time I take a sketch down before I tutor. I'm wary of children's reactions as well as some of the parents, as they're not all cultured/broad minded or whatever it is you need to be to be accepting of nudity in Art. Some of them are religious and it just makes me feel uncomfortable about their potential reaction.
I should point out that with the current sketch on display there's a bum on view - no genitals.
Thanks in advance.

Mumblechum1 Mon 24-Nov-14 14:18:56

YANBU. That is all.

Icimoi Mon 24-Nov-14 14:22:48

Of course YANBU. Yes, theoretically the human body is beautiful, children should learn to appreciate it, etc etc. But the fact is that not every parent will agree, so why make trouble for yourself? Anyway, in this context your living room is a classroom, why should you have pictures around which are bound to distract the children from their work?

QueenTilly Mon 24-Nov-14 14:23:15

YANBU- it's not a matter of them being "wrong", it's a matter of them being inappropriate.

Thebodynowchillingsothere Mon 24-Nov-14 14:23:19

Mmmm well it's a bit like me as a childminder hanging nude pictures in the playroom. Not very sensible.

Incidentally if your dh can't appreciate your business as a tutor and your perfect right to run it how you feel fit them he's a bit of a dick head.

I consider myself broadminded but pictures of low hanging balls on a naked mans body make me feel sick.


Callani Mon 24-Nov-14 14:23:40

So he is happy for his preferences about art to potentially jeopardise your job? I think you need to be very clear that the majority of your clients would not think that the work is appropriate for school age children, and seeing as the living room is your place of work, you will be acting to remove all inappropriate artworks.

As a comparison, we are quite a naked household, but when DD has friends over we all wear pyjamas and/or dressing gowns outside the bedroom. It's not because we think nudity is wrong, it's about making others comfortable.

3littlefrogs Mon 24-Nov-14 14:23:58

I agree with you.
Not appropriate at all for a room where you tutor children.
Totally ok if just in your normal living room.

Your DH needs to make an effort to understand the difference. Is he generally lacking in sensitivity and tact?

Ericaequites Mon 24-Nov-14 14:25:59

It's highly inappropriate in any areas the visiting children might see.

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Mon 24-Nov-14 14:26:16

Gets agitated

Problem right there OP. WHY does he get agitated? Tell him they're banned entirely from your WORKSPACE unless he stops getting agitated when you move them.

LaurieFairyCake Mon 24-Nov-14 14:26:33

Agree it's not wrong, just inappropriate

And not professional either. Your aim as a teacher is learning not freaking the fuck out of them with nudie pictures so they can't concentrate. My Dh has occasionally tutored at home and I remove all overly personal things from my office when he does so.

bananacarnival Mon 24-Nov-14 14:29:26

Phew. Good to know it's not just me then.
Thanks for the replies.
3littlefrogs, he's arrogant.

Thebodynowchillingsothere Mon 24-Nov-14 14:29:26

Do you earn more from your tutoring than your Picasso does from his art?

Mmmm grin

ThatBloodyWoman Mon 24-Nov-14 14:29:35

I bet his work is lovely,and I'm a bit envious.
But not suitable for a room where you tutor others children.
If I took my children to yours,with the pictures up,I would be a bit unhappy about it tbh.
Not necessarily because of the actual content of the picture,but because it seems strange that their unsuitability was not being acknowledged iyswim.

QueenTilly Mon 24-Nov-14 14:32:54

He's a bit black and white, ain't he? Is it always "right" and "wrong" with him, without such subtleties as "not appropriate for a professional environment" ever rearing their heads?

CasperGutman Mon 24-Nov-14 14:35:53

Would it help to explain to him that this is a business decision? You don't want the pictures gone because you think them inappropriate but because potential clients might. Whether the clients would be justified in finding the pictures disconcerting is neither here nor there.

Thebodynowchillingsothere Mon 24-Nov-14 14:40:20

I would also check his tendency to arrogance too op.

Take the paintbrush and shove it you know where. grin

bodhranbae Mon 24-Nov-14 14:41:34

Mr supportive and understanding eh?

You have a job to do and, as others have said, if a room in your home doubles as your workspace then it is perfectly normal to make it as impersonal as possible.

Plus it'd drive me spare to have someone's doodlings all over the place.

MissM Mon 24-Nov-14 14:56:21

Ask him if what he'd think if your kids' teacher hung nude paintings in their classroom. It's easy to forget when people work from home that it's a workplace just as much as any workspace away from home.

dreamingbohemian Mon 24-Nov-14 15:00:36

It's so obviously inappropriate that I would wonder if he's being passive-aggressive about something or other

I live in a country that is very nude-friendly but I can assure you there are no nude drawings hanging up in kindergarten

3littlefrogs Mon 24-Nov-14 15:04:42

Do you know, OP, I typed "arrogant" then thought it sounded a bit OTT so substituted "lacking in sensitivity and tact" instead. I think my first instinct was right. sad

3littlefrogs Mon 24-Nov-14 15:06:14

Is he trying to undermine your tutoring business?

NeedABumChangeNotANameChange Mon 24-Nov-14 15:09:04

But museums are full of nude statues and paintings. I really think it depends entirely on the type of painting and how obvious the nakedness is.
Classical with a couple of naked cherubs is fine but a posing torso with massive schlong out not.

grocklebox Mon 24-Nov-14 15:12:08

I don't actually see what the problem is, nude bums in pencil sketches, its not like he's hanging porno mags on the wall and children are entitled to art as well, but if you'd prefer it not be there its up to you.

3littlefrogs Mon 24-Nov-14 15:13:24

Well - yes, needa, but you expect to see this type of art in a museum and make the choice whether to go or not.
But parents engaging a tutor for their Dc would not expect the room in which the tutoring takes place to look like anything but a suitably furnished tutoring room. IYSWIM.

WeirdCatLady Mon 24-Nov-14 15:19:24

Wow. I'm sorry but that is unacceptable. No way I would want my child tutored in a room with pictures like that. They need to be taken down.

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