to find it a bit odd that pil, always, everytime they see her, ask my dd age 7 what she wants to do when she grows up

[magicpixie]

she always replies be a mummy
every single time

they say oh no duckie you have to do something else first, so what do you want to do...
she replies with a shrug of the shoulders and I dunno


I can understand them asking, but not surely everytime

I am a sahm,youngest is only a baby, but obviously I used to work before having children

[Annunziata]

It probably makes them laugh to hear her say it, it'll just be like an in-joke.

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

They are probably hoping for a better answer

[mynewpassion]

Not my grandparents but my aunts and uncles. They are ppl with high career and education expectations. They were encouraging rather than mean about it.

[magicpixie]

well if she said it to me at home, I would say well, before you become a mummy you will need to workreally hard and save up, get a good job, buy a house-if you can, find someone that is really special like daddy.

and then I explain that not everyone can stay at home, but that every mummy and daddy make the decision they think is best for their family etc etc

I explain the most important thing is to work hard at school so you have lots of choices when you get older


i try to help her be broadminded

[cheesecakemom]

I used to ask my sister this all the time and I found it funny - she wanted to be a mother. She was only 5/6. My mother worked from home but she was mostly a sahm. I was at Uni by then.
For me it was nothing malicious it was just funny to hear that. She later change to nurse, teacher etc as kids do!

[magicpixie]

cheesecake mom, yes if she says it at home me and dh
actually laugh between ourselves as she thinks i live the life of riley

if you say well what will you do when your a mummy, she will say, meet friends for lunch, go shopping, go to the gym/swimming etc etc


but the pil will say to her oh no duckie!!

[florentina1]

Sounds like she admires you as a role model. I think I would be proud that she wants to emulate you. Time enough for career aspirations when she is older.

My great grandson wants to be a mermaid.

[MothershipG]

It's desperation! Lots of adults struggle and feel awkward making conversation with young children so it's just one of those things they ask. My MIL was a bit like this when my DC were small. Like talking about the weather.

Probably nothing more sinister than that.

[YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx]

Not everyone gets a 'good job', meets prince charming, getting married and buys a home before having children.

I work in a supermarket, my boyfriend is at university, we rent a flat, and we have a baby boy.

We are really happy, which is all that matters. Families come in different forms and that is okay.

[magicpixie]

well that's what i think, she is only 7, and when she's older i would be very surprised if she didn't start saying something different


i never thought she could be saying because she admires me
thanks, that's perked me up a bit

she often says I'm the best mummy she could wish for, which is sweet, but she's a very sweet natured child.

being a mermaid is a great aspiration

[magicpixie]

lol well yes, they can be awkward, like for eg, my father in law would actually say hello how are you doing to a toddler and expect a reply of very well thankyou, how about yourself

yourkids, oh i do know that, i do try to get over to dd, that everyone does the best they can, like that some people separate or some people don't have jobs because they are poorly and that you can't always see when people are poorly or they could be disabled or be breaved etc

i try to get her to not judge others

[FreeWee]

What MothershipG says. Some adults are just crap at small talk. It's a shame they belittle motherhood as a career though.

[BettyFocker]

I think it's a small talk thing. They already know what answer your DD will give so they know it's an easy topic. My DM does something similar. If DS gives a funny answer to something once she will ask him every time she sees him! Or if he says something sweet, she will coax him to say it again next time she sees him to the point of putting words in his mouth. And then she'll go, "Ahhhh did you hear that?" I did snap a little one time and said, "Well if you're going to practically force him to say it every time you see him..."

I'm starting the learn to smile and nod a bit more these days!

[littlejohnnydory]

My five year old says exactly the same and I am a sahm. Being a Mum is all I've ever wanted to do either so I can hardly complain. We're not rich either but I don't really think a five year old needs to worry about the financial implications if her ambitions! Her sister wants to be a fairy whi can really fly, incidentally! I'd say exactly that to the in laws if it were me.

[riverboat1]

I'd think either they are stuck for things to talk to her about, and that is a question they are interested in asking and hearing about

Or they just happened to ask it once, and were concerned that she wanted to be 'a mummy' so are re-asking to raise the subject and try to convince her of something else. Possibly if you are a SAHM they are doing it to make a point to you about how you should be working or doing something to change her outlook.

[magicpixie]

do you think I should say why do you keep asking her that everytime

or shall I just leave it?

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

I think you should laugh and say "She's seven! She doesn't know yet!" then turn to DD and change the subject..."DD tell them about your new game..."

[magicpixie]

claw that's probably the smarter way of handling it

[maras2]

Kids eh? When DD was about 3 we had a visit from an old friend of mine < a doctor from my training hospital >who brought her a dolly that she had knitted.When she left DD said ' I want to grow up to be like Auntie Ann ' I replied 'so you want to be a doctor then'? ' No mummy I want to knit dollies ' She's nearly 40 now but we can't help but tease her.

[YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx]

magic I agree, its about not judging others. What I was saying was more aimed at NoArmani and about your pils.

[TheCraicDealer]

List of coversation starters - 10 and under

• What age are you?
  
• What have you been learning at school?
  
• Are you looking forward to Christmas/your holiday?
  
• What's Santa bringing you?
  
• What do you want to be when you grow up?
  

That's a pretty exhaustive list. I was very close to my Granda and he used to ask these seemly inane questions much of the time. But it was his attempt to connect with us and see what was going on in our little world. And when that little world is pretty much just school and the family, you don't have a whole pile of things to talk about. Questions can and will be repeated. Career plans are a potentially rich seam of conversation. And let's face it, when they turn round and say, "I want to be a butcher" or something, it is pretty funny.

[tobysmum77]

if people ask dd (5.5) this she peers at them through her glasses and tells them she is going to be a scientist . Now that's a real conversation stopper. ... yanbu it is weird

[RevoltingPeasant]

OP honestly it's probably just making conversation with a 7yo. I'd leave it.

BIL and SIL get very touchy about this too. They visited a couple of weeks ago and said something about their 6yo DD observing things closely, and I said something fairly harmless like "ah maybe she'll be a scientist when she grows up" and SIL said "she doesn't have to be anything except herself"

SIL is a SAHM and in retrospect obviously thought I was having a dig. I think it's a bit paranoid really - there's a limited number of things to say to or about children of that age!

[rusticwomble]

Its difficult for relatives to have a conversation with a 7 year old that they don't see each and every day. Being a mummy is a great thing to say - unlike my daughter at that age, who replied "My mummy says I'm going to be a proper little madam when I grow up....."