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AIBU?

To take this complaint even further?

61 replies

Edenviolet · 19/11/2014 10:26

In October dd2 was very ill, episodes of confusion, a nasty sore throat, stomach aches, very pale and had a whole week where she literally just slept and was so weak and lethargic she had to be carried everywhere.

After a few trips to gp we ended up at a and e. Told them all the symptoms above and waited for hours and hours. We were quite concerned dd may be anaemic as she had been so tired/lethargic and pale and at the time there was a ? Over whether she may have coeliacs (she also has type 1 diabetes). We were keen for bloods to be done to rule it out but managed to see possibly the rudest, nastiest dr ever who belittled our concerns and terrified dd saying she didn't want to stick needles in her for our reassurance and was just absolutely horrible to us and really upset dd.

I made a formal complaint and received a response. Apparently dds notes were looked at and the dr concerned was spoken to. They are saying that it is standard to discuss treatment in front if the child, fair enough but this dr used inappropriate and scary language in front of a four year old who was traumatised.
They also said the dr was right not to test for anaemia as it was not clinically indicated by the symptoms dd presented with and then went on to list her symptoms but missed out the extreme tiredness and being pale???

I'm not happy with this response as the dr and hospital are clearly trying to deny doing anything wrong and denying the fact that the main symptoms dd had could have pointed to anaemia?

Shall I take this further? Dh seems to think it will just stress me out and that they will never admit any wrong doing.

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youareallbonkers · 19/11/2014 10:32

Are you medically trained? They didn't feel the need take blood and further upset a small child just to keep you happy and you are complaining they wouldn't do it? Is she anaemic?

What scary language that "traumatised" a 4 year old? It sounds to me as though you were the ones trying to scare her!

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ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks · 19/11/2014 10:34

I have to say that my doctor has said similar..."I don't want to take her into hospital as they'll put her on a drip and fill her full of holes with tests" when he knew the illness was fleeting...nasty but fleeting. You sound a bit precious.

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SaidFlorence · 19/11/2014 10:35

What was the eventual diagnosis? Is she anaemic then?

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Edenviolet · 19/11/2014 10:37

We told her her symptoms as were extremely worried.

The dr said she didn't want to "stick a needle" in dd and was very aggressive saying she didn't want to "hurt a child with needles" she said the nurses "would be very cross at her bleeding a child for no reason" she treated us like absolute rubbish and belittled our concerns. All this needle talk was especially upsetting for dd as she has cannula changes ev two days and another needle to change a sensor every seven which the dr knew about, she went way over the top with talk of hurting dd with needles and that we wanted to hurt her for no reason.

Dd had been ill for a while and had spent a week on the sofa,was very pale and gp couldn't find anything wrong. We assumed anaemia and wanted to get dd checked properly

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Edenviolet · 19/11/2014 10:39

She was very slightly anaemic and was also found to have high cholesterol and triglycerides.
The coeliac test was negative.

We had to get the bloods done a week later at her diabetes appt, the consultant there was horrified, agreed she did need bloods and tested for a variety of things based on dds symptoms. Getting the bloods done was horrendous though as dd was terrified after what had been said by the dr at a and e.

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Edenviolet · 19/11/2014 10:40

To be honest, the fact she was found to be a bit anaemic isn't the main issue for me, its the fact the dr scared dd so much and that I the letter I got they omitted the tiredness and paleness from the symptom list that we took her in with.

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NorwaySpruce · 19/11/2014 10:42

i wouldn't take it further. There are plenty of times people might need to make a genuine complaint, but this isn't one of them.

To be honest, given the amount of stuff you seem to have to deal with, you really don't need to go looking for problems.

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Gileswithachainsaw · 19/11/2014 10:43

Yes I would.

I remember your previous thread and often wondered how your poor dd was as she sounded very very ill.

I hope she is on the mend and that Dr was out of her mind to scare your dd like that

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Edenviolet · 19/11/2014 10:46

It was horrible, they also dismissed the episodes of confusion and we ended up taking dd to a private neurologist who did an mri then made a diagnosis of occasional confusion all episodes that are due to migraines (dd had also had one headache but the dr said the stomach pains wee a migraine symptom too). Its happened once since then and dd had some disturbed vision.

I just feel so angry that the a and e dr was so horrible in front of dd and that their reply has missed out vital information.

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WooWooOwl · 19/11/2014 10:47

It sounds like the staff at A&E wouldn't have needed to give you the full reasons (ie - the talk of needles) if you hadn't been pushing for your dd to have tests that the medically trained professionals didn't think were medically indicated at that time.

Even if the consultant later wanted to do the test, that is not conformation that it should have been done in an A&E department. Anaemia is not generally and accident or an emergency.

Let it go.

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Edenviolet · 19/11/2014 10:48

What worries me, aside from the way we were treated and dd scared was that say it hadn't been dd? Another child with ongoing symptoms like dd had and they were dismissed but it was something more serious?

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Gileswithachainsaw · 19/11/2014 10:50

Can you prove that you listed those symptoms?

the fact they omitted them. from the reply shows They either "forgot" what you said or weren't taking any notice or They are covering up a mistake.

I'm not sure I could let that lie tbh.

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Edenviolet · 19/11/2014 10:51

We had assumed anaemia but as the gp had suggested a and e that's where we went. Dd had been very ill that week and we had no idea what was wrong with her.

We didn't want to walk out of hospital with dd still so poorly and no answers.

I think the fact that in 2012 when dd had been ill and we had been sent home misdiagnosed with a uti when she in fact had diabetes has made us over cautious as if we hadn't pushed for answers then and had listened to a and e she would have died.

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Edenviolet · 19/11/2014 10:52

We told the triage nurse on arrival dds symptoms and two other drs in a and e, the main thing we were worried about was dd being asleep most of the time/lethargic and so pale

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Nicknacky · 19/11/2014 10:54

I don't think you can push the complaint on the basis that it might have been another child who was badly ill, the complaint is about your child.

What really are you hoping to achieve by pushing it further?

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EmmaGellerGreen · 19/11/2014 10:54

What do you want to achieve from another complaint? Why not just move on.

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Biscetti · 19/11/2014 10:56

I'm not sure what you are hoping to achieve tbh.

What was actually wrong with your daughter in the end? What was causing her to be lethargic and pale? Or was it just a simple virus that had her particularly out of sorts?

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Edenviolet · 19/11/2014 10:57

I just want an apology, I think they should have taken parental concerns seriously and not terrified dd

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Snatchoo · 19/11/2014 10:57

I don't wish to be harsh, but what exactly would you get out of further complaint? It doesn't sound like the doctor would be struck off from the description you give of what happened, and this is the only way you would know what had happened as they have to keep a lot of information confidential.

I remember your last thread, it was clear you were very upset and frantic about the treatment in the hospital - but I think really, you latched onto anaemia as a possible problem and wouldn't let it go, and possibly the doctor got frustrated.

You could look at your daughter's notes and see if the fact she was pale and lethargic was recorded there? I think you are going to make yourself really stressed and unhappy if you continue fretting over this, and I expect with your daughter having diabetes you probably don't need that.

Take care of yourself OP. I tend to agree with your DH on this, the only possible positive outcome for you in this is the ability to be able to say HA! I was right! When you already know that you weren't because your daughter wasn't anaemic.

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Snatchoo · 19/11/2014 10:58

Oh massive x-post there!

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Edenviolet · 19/11/2014 11:01

She was found to be slightly anaemic. That's not the point. The point is we were treated badly and dd was terrified. The few cannula changes after that she screamed and screamed when usually is ok with it as was worried about "needles" and the blood tests she had by the diabetes clinic based on her symptoms were very traumatic for her.

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Floralnomad · 19/11/2014 11:01

You can't complain on the basis of ' what if it were another child and it had been seriously ill (post of 10:48) . Personally I wouldn't take it any further because I don't see what you hope to achieve , the letter says that the Dr has been spoken to . Frankly I don't think the Dr said anything particularly terrible ( from what you have posted) and what happened in 2012 is irrelevant ,unless it was the same Dr - why not just go to a different A&E in future .

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Edenviolet · 19/11/2014 11:04

It wasn't just anaemia, we made it clear to the dr we were very concerned about the confused episodes too but the dr completely disregarded that and wouldn't even let us talk about it. Anaemia was just one thing we were worried about.

Tbh I didn't know what else it might be just that dd was very unwell and it had gone on for a while and we needed to find out what it was.

In the end it was I think a combination of a throat infection lingering from a couple of weeks before, slight anaemia and what was later diagnosed a s migraine. It was the way we were treated that was so appalling, for concerned , caring parents to be treated like they want to hurt their own child who "looked well" to a dr who had seen her for all of ten minutes was an absolute insult

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Edenviolet · 19/11/2014 11:06

I wasn't complaining on that basis just making the point that by not complaining about what happened to dd it could happen again with worse consequences

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LadyLuck10 · 19/11/2014 11:06

Sorry you had a bad experience but you are being overly precious by wanting them to keep responding to you over what seems like an already sufficient response.
Are you a doctor that you kept insisting they need to do various tests?
There's absolutely no need for pushing this, they shouldn't be wasting more time on this.

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