My uncle had most of his bowel removed due to cancer about six weeks ago. My mum has a long difficult love/hate relationship with my aunt. Today he had his update and has been told the cancer hasn't spread and that he won't be having chemo.
My mum said this is suspicious and she doesn't believe it, and that doctors lie sometimes when they don't believe the patient is fit enough to carry on treatment.
I queried this and she went mental, how I'm doubting her etc when she's been a nurse for 40 years etc. etc.
I just can't believe the hospital would lie to him - before he got ill, he was a fit 75 year old, non smoker etc. He's obviously knocked for six after the surgery but he's recovering. He just doesn't fit this idea of someone too emotionally frail and physically frail to take the truth. My parents (both nurses) believe the cancer has spread or is still there, and the Dr has deliberately decided to halt any further treatment.
Parents now not speaking to me as I challenged their knowledge apparently. I should add that my mum frequently has issues with my aunt verging on the paranoid and I think this is some kind of extension of this. She has on a number of occasions taken off on my sister and I for 'not believing' her when she raises issues about her sister. She worries about her sister constantly but it often comes out in anger towards my aunt.
The truth is it's so tiresome, and some of her beefs are so out there, we don't tend to comment or commit - we can't, we don't agree and its often easier to say nothing.
Difficult time at the moment as it is, so this is just another thing to deal with. I must add that during this conversation I was reasonable and measured, which prob. wound her up even more. She started ranting about how my sis and I don't support her - again totally unrelated to the original conversation.
I'll also add that my parents have come to this conclusion following a phone conversation update with my aunt after the consultant appointment yesterday, and are both raging at me for my question as to why they believe all this.
Just to clarify my uncle is my aunts ex partner, but they have always stayed close and he's staying with her whilst he recovers. There's been all kinds of anger from my mum about him and I think this is all tied up in that really.
Very tired and fed up now.
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Would a Dr lie about treament options?
36 replies
rosenylund · 04/11/2014 19:44
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