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aibu to not want my Glamour Shot on display?

(52 Posts)
BeachyKeen Thu 28-Aug-14 06:24:25

First off, stop laughing, it was the 90's!grin

back story: 20, 4 months pregnant with dc2, feeling fat and awkward all the time. As a surprise, for my birthday, DH took me to get a make over and a glamour shot photo session.
What I didn't know before I agreed to this is that you can't choose what you wear, or how you look or anything.

End result: 4 billion pictures of me posing in feather boas and leather jackets. There may have been a long blue satin scarf. My hair was very big, and I couldn't move my face. Dh was absolutely thrilled with the results, as was I.
Dorky, but I felt pretty.

the issue: 15 years on, he still insists on displaying one portrait. A big one (16x20 in) placed right in the stairwell, going up to our only bathroom. This means everyone sees it. At this point, he feels he has compromised enough. He likes the pictures, has agreed to let go of the rest, but still wants one to display.
I have tried to put it in the bedroom, so he could still see it, but no, he thinks it should go in the stairwell with the other family pictures. He said he is very proud of how I looked, and would hate not to be able to see it in future years. He doesn't want to forget it.

I disagree.

I feel it was a loving gesture at the time, and i loved it, at the time. That time has moved on, a full long 15 years. It needs to go. Its embarrassing. It makes me look like a show off, or someone fixated on their past. I am quite content with where I'm at, and my/our life should reflect that, in public at least.
When I went and took it down anyhow, he was hurt.
I could tell, even though he tried to hide it. And not in a PA way either. I felt like shit, and put it back.

On most days, I don't notice it at all. But when someone goes upstairs for the first time, I want to run along saying"Lights are on the right, don't look at the picture!"

I'm sorry that was so long, but I hate a drip feed.
So, aibu?

VashtaNerada Thu 28-Aug-14 06:31:27

YANBU - it's your image, put your foot down!

mintbaileys Thu 28-Aug-14 06:36:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Delphiniumsblue Thu 28-Aug-14 06:38:39

Insist it goes in the bedroom.

Judo123 Thu 28-Aug-14 06:46:42

It is a picture of you. If you feel uncomfortable about it being on the wall where it currently is then take it down.

You say you feel 'bad' when he looked upset when you took it down. You felt so 'bad' that you put it back up.

Yet he does not mind that you have been feeling 'bad' for 15 years!!!!!


He is being passive aggressive in my opinion.

If he loves it he can get a digital image of it and keep it on his phone or have a small version of it in his wallet. You should not even have to tolerate it in the bedroom.


FunkyBoldRibena Thu 28-Aug-14 06:50:42

Oh dear god take it down. And tell him you have had 15 years of feeling bad about it, the time has passed and you can look at it no more.

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle Thu 28-Aug-14 06:52:19

Hahahahaha sorry OP. Sorry.

We had some of these pics done after we were given an "engagement shoot" as a "gift". I'm still convinced that particular friend secretly hates us.

Anyway. I look pretty, he looks handsome. But I would never dream of displaying them. Ever.

I feel your pain. Time to take it down.

puntasticusername Thu 28-Aug-14 06:53:50

YANBU. It's great that he likes it but unfortunately this one isn't about him - it's a picture of YOU and you really DON'T like it! Why does he think his feelings are more important than yours?

Judo123 Thu 28-Aug-14 06:59:39

If you take it down...he may sulk for a while but better that he sulks and you get some relief after 15 years rather than you continue to suffer.

He will get over it.

Or take an unflattering photo of him and insist that it gets displayed in the living room. Give him a taste of his own medicine.

LoveBeingAwakeInTheNight Thu 28-Aug-14 07:08:26

Take one of his in his banana hammock and put it next to it

ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy Thu 28-Aug-14 07:13:18


Are you in any of the other family pics on that wall? Could you change it for a more recent, more relaxed picture of you?

ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy Thu 28-Aug-14 07:14:55

"He said he is very proud of how I looked, and would hate not to be able to see it in future years. He doesn't want to forget it."

If it's up in the bedroom, he would still see it - and probably for more minutes per day (unless he eats tea on the stairwell or something)

lordnoobson Thu 28-Aug-14 07:16:51

How how how awful ! shockgrin

I cannot imagine a fifteen to semi naked photo with a boa will be anything less than mortifying.

Draw a tache on yourself

deepbluetr Thu 28-Aug-14 07:23:36

He was hurt because you took down a picture? Why was he "hurt"? What about your feelings?

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Thu 28-Aug-14 07:38:54

It's not about him wanting to see it or he'd have it in the bedroom. It's about him wanting other people to see it. He's using it for an ego boost t the expense of your feelings about it. I think that's creepy tbh.

Optimist1 Thu 28-Aug-14 07:40:27

Surely your 14/15-yr old has something to say about the picture and its location? Enlist his/her help! grin

Pastperfect Thu 28-Aug-14 07:44:19

Take it down. He really has no right to dictate how photos of you are displayed in your house.

I'm also a little concerned at his reasoning that he feels proud that you looked like that. I find that a little creepy

CatKisser Thu 28-Aug-14 07:44:21

Would you consider getting another set done but obviously by a more contemporary photographer who doesn't own a feather boa? Maybe some of those nice family shoots you can get?

I've had one of those shoots you describe, in fact I'm genuinely questioning whether it was the same chap! Stupid wanker with his "a bit more T and A, bet you don't know what that means?!" (I was 18 hmm )

quietbatperson Thu 28-Aug-14 12:19:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

comedycentral Thu 28-Aug-14 12:20:42

Just take it down without his consent, he has it up there without your consent

squoosh Thu 28-Aug-14 12:24:51

You look hot OP!

turkeygiblets Thu 28-Aug-14 12:25:24

Sign him up for a male boudoir photo shoot and insist on displaying his photo in the kitchen.

Deverethemuzzler Thu 28-Aug-14 12:28:17

Why not suggest he gets some shots done so you can display them above the mantle?
Ask him grow a mustashe and a mullet first.
Or you will be hurt sad

LuvDaMorso Thu 28-Aug-14 12:29:25

If you were pg 15 years ago, presumably your teenage DC have friends who have to walk past a pregnant boudoir photo of their friend's mum when they go upstairs.

Aaaagh, eye bleach for the teenagers!!!!

It belongs in the bedroom. Not the staircase. No no no no no.

WorraLiberty Thu 28-Aug-14 12:30:04

"He said he is very proud of how I looked, and would hate not to be able to see it in future years. He doesn't want to forget it."

But it wasn't how you really looked was it?

No-one came out of those makeover sessions looking like the real them. Plus the camera was so fuzzy, that under the ton of makeup it was hard to tell it was in fact the person you knew.

At least that was the case for every pic I saw of my friends.

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