To think that lots of people do suck up to people who have money?(36 Posts)
And to wonder why this happens a lot? Before I start my post, I'm not jealous, this is just something that I have noticed happening in general, and the psychology behind it interests me.
When DD1 was at primary school there were two children whose families were generally perceived as wealthy. These children always got the lead parts in everything and were always chosen to do nice things at school, and the mums were treated like queens by lots of the other mums, practically wetting themselves with excitement if the mums spoke to them, or if their DC was invited to a party of one of the rich children.
On forums and facebook groups that I have been on, the top dogs are usually women that come across as being well off, and who post nice photos on Facebook of nice things they own and have done.
The top dog of my NCT group when I had DD1 is well off, and once again she was treated like a queen and allowed to totally dominate things by the majority of the group.
Also someone that I have known for years met and moved in with her wealthy partner about 3 years ago, and has had a baby, and seems to have acquired a lot of fans since she got together with him, with lots of people telling her on Facebook how fantastic and gorgeous she is.
AIBU to wonder why this happens? Has anyone else noticed this?
My mum's well off but has a crap car and doesn't tend to wear expensive clothes or any make up and doesn't look or act 'rich'. This is because she genuinely doesn't care, she likes her old banger etc. I shall ask her if people suck up to her, I don't think they do. I've never seen her friends do it.
This is alien to me
I feel lucky I have always had genuine friendships with people as I can't associate with any of this
I think people are attracted to success, whether that be shown through money, being physically attractive, owning nice things, being good at sport or music or art or something. ie not just money. Some people who are confident and successful do have a bit of an aura of charisma around them, and tend to do interesting things and be fun to be around.
Some other people try to attract attention by making people feel sorry for them or constantly bemoaning their lot, and while they often get sympathy for a while, if nothing that bad has actually happened to them, I do think many people's patience wears a bit thin.
I agree with others, think it's more likely to be that they come across as glamorous, interesting, confident etc rather than purely about the money.
If they were horrible people I doubt they'd be so popular whether wealthy or not.
I suppose it depends on what has cachet in your circle. At my children's school, it not how much money you have (because- it's a fee-paying school, so people in general already have achieved a certain level of wealth), rather what your children achieve (i.e who wins the sporting prizes, the academic prizes, etc).
Some parents are rather surprised when they meet me (yeah- stuck-up
hair, half-witted, and scruffy-looking... the MNname is apt) after encountering my children .
I had a sort of "posh" friend first year at uni... We didn't stay friends for too long as she would go to have lunch in a very fancy restaurant, and my lunch budget would only cover a supermarket sandwich, by best wishes, a kebab. But not a steak... A few times she paid for me, but we both found it very uncomfortable...
Agree with PPs about it happening, but only some people
who are idiots do it. Those are the ones to avoid.
I did have a rather nasty experience a few years back, in an upmarket department store in London. After going to the gym, I popped in to get some make up. I looked like a mess, but was on the way home on my bike, so didn't care. The girl at the Chanel counter looked me in the eye, scanned me up and down, turned away and then ignored me! They lost a very good customer that day! I still haven't been back to that department store.
I'm a little guilty of this myself but I do need a life-saving op in America so have a reason. I also treat everyone equal too.
I also agree about people being more attracted to success, be that good at something, or good looking. I am
not being vain a nice looking girl, mixed race too so stand out a bit more and I'm sure people talk to me much more because of that....maybe my Blackberry too!! .
Also, note that not all rich people are nice, raising this money I have encountered a good few I would otherwise not have done and some aren't nice people at all. Some poor aren't either!. I try and be like Bruce Lee (my hero) and not see barriers. But have been slightly guilty of the success and wealth in the past. Not sucking up though, just more of a fondness.
People can disguise poverty very well. There's a lot of wealthy looking people that come into our stores that are paying with food stamps. You'd be surprised at the brand names you can buy in thrift stores.
@Tikimon, you're right, I am just like this, I disguise my poverty very well!!.....good job!!
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