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Or is sport more important than music?

(208 Posts)
Azquilith Sat 19-Jul-14 19:34:44

Having an argument with DP about our DS learning music in the future. DP was in an orchestra at school - do kids really play in orchestras any more? Surely it's a bit 1950s and playing sport is more important for development and making friends?

KittiesInsane Tue 22-Jul-14 10:05:02

DS plays tuba. Physical and musical workout in one vast package. Job done.

CrystalSkulls Tue 22-Jul-14 10:00:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lweji Tue 22-Jul-14 07:35:46

But there it is people equating physical activity and health with sports. Particularly team sports.

You don't have to do sports to be healthy or physically active. You can walk a lot, take stairs instead of escalators or lifts, cycle to places, do housework, gardening, grow veg, dance, you can actively play with your children or your dogs or your friends.

In fact, most people I know who do or have done sports, particularly team sports, have some sort of injury and damage to joints, muscles or tendons.

Living healthily means having an active lifestyle, not necessarily to do sports. And in fact it may be healthier not to actually "do sports", at least not to a competitive level.

JaneParker Tue 22-Jul-14 07:24:04

Interesting. Is that why the nation is fat and ill then as people are thinking music plays a bigger part? At that funeral you are using your legs or walking sticks to walk in and someone strong is carrying the coffin - sport surely plays its part there as it were. Sadly so few people sing these days that my children's father (organist) recommends hiring a professional singer at many weddings as otherwise the pathetic attenders sit there not singing at all and he becomes an organ solo. I would say do both - sport and music.

I know loads of people on competitive sports teams even in their 30s and 40s. I accept parents with children have less time and may give it up for a period but certainly amongst people I know they play. A neighbour in her 60s is still in a net ball team! My daughter 20s is in a netball team and plays another sport of England. I do something active most days although not a team sport. I sing every day too.

almondcakes Mon 21-Jul-14 21:09:46

This is a strange thread. Surely, music plays a far larger part in the lives of almost everyone than sport?

I've never been to a funeral and had the coffin brought in while the mourners played a game of tennis around it.

Or attended a wedding where the bride came in and did a bit of trampoling down the aisle.

At every major sporting event people sing. At music events people don"t precede it with a game of tennis.

In adult life, I don't know anyone on a competitive sports team. I know lots of adults who swim, cycle, hill walk and dance. And pretty much everyone has to dance socially, at least at weddings. We should concentrate on those at school, not sport.

KittiesInsane Mon 21-Jul-14 20:15:10

It does depend on the school (are we talking primary or secondary here, by the way?).

Our primary has free recorder and keyboard lessons and is starting up a ukulele club. Cost of recorder about £5, cost of beginner-level ukulele about £15, but they can be borrowed free. Choir is free and fab.

Local secondaries vary a lot.
At one local comp, music is pretty much the abode of the better-off. Probably around 50 to 80 kids in the school actively join the choir or orchestra.
At the other one, in a slightly tattier area, about 300-400 take part. You pay for any individual music lessons but the (four!) choirs, jazz band, steel band, guitar club, samba band etc are free. Musical theatre (I know, I know!) is £2.50 a week.

OneDreamOnly Mon 21-Jul-14 19:53:55

Neither is more important. Your job as a parent is to spot your individual child's talents and encourage them.

^^ That.

Also a lot of parents will see music as a way to learn a lot of skills including the ability to stay focus and work hard for a long time before getting results.
I gently pushed my dcs towards football as a way to fit in which worked but that's what it is. Not a sport as such. Just an activity that helps them fitting in (various reasons there, one is a geek type, the other has social difficulties).

Then yes of course, promote sports as way to stay healthy but spot what is making them 'click' (Note this isn't at no cost at all though. ds1 is swimming and the swimming club, training 3 times a week, galas... all that has a cost!). And promote music, all type of music and maybe you will also have a child who actually likes and enjoys music (much cheaper when done at school ime than all the sports/after school stuff they do)

drudgetrudy Mon 21-Jul-14 19:44:22

Neither is more important. Your job as a parent is to spot your individual child's talents and encourage them.
I'm rubbish at both!

Azquilith Mon 21-Jul-14 19:38:05

This is really interesting. I think I might have been a bit blinkered, I certainly don't want to stop my son doing anything he might want to, I suppose I just always felt that sport was a bit easier to get involved in and there were financial constraints around music - sounds like I was wrong if there is lots of school provision out there. Do schools tend to be either sporty or arts focused (my school was a sports college) or is it more mixed now?

MexicanSpringtime Mon 21-Jul-14 02:37:58

Only read the start of the thread, but first of all, why should music and sport be mutually exclusive and secondly, do your child's own preferences not get a look in?

sykadelic Mon 21-Jul-14 00:11:20

I logged in to reply to this actually.

I played badminton and swim, my sister played hockey and we BOTH play instruments. I have a clarinet and saxophone (the trombone was on loan - free - from band). My sister has a trumpet and a french horn and loans a tenor horn from band (she used to loan a woodwind instrument as well).

We've traveled the country for camps and competitions (marching competitions as well as music). My sister went to China.

My husband plays guitar and drums (owns a drum set and several guitars), one of his friends plays guitar (also owns several).

As someone else said above, I have excellent lung capacity, stamina and posture, because of band. Not to mention attention span, focus and self control.

The benefits of music have been well established. Just type "benefits of learning music" into a search engine and you will see.

That's not to say sport isn't good either, but you know all the benefits of that so there's no point in spelling that out.

I would definitely encourage learning a musical instrument as well as playing sport. Some of my most favourite memories from school are my music lessons and "jamming" with my teacher and singing in choir (and winning competitions of course :D)

UptheChimney Sun 20-Jul-14 22:35:45

I'm never sure why "health and fitness" are equated with team sports. IME, team sports had bugger all to do with health/fitness, and far more to do with bullying, coercion into "fitting in" and a kind of flocking. I only discovered I could be quite athletic with the aerobics craze of the 1980s.

And yes, in my world the sporty types tended to be a bit thick.

PicardyThird Sun 20-Jul-14 22:06:12

(I play piano and sing but am not sporty although I do a gymnastics/yoga class when I can, dh was very sporty when he was young and taught himself percussion. We met when we were in a band together. It's more natural to me to encourage the dc in music and for dh to push sports, so I suppose what parents are or were into will always have an influence. But I think we both feel part of our role is to give them as wide an experience as possible, in all sorts of ways)

PicardyThird Sun 20-Jul-14 22:03:03

It's important to us that our dc do one sporting and one musical activity (any more as they like, obviously), to give them a well-rounded range of experiences. Dc1 currently does tae kwondo and is learning the piano and trumpet, dc2 plays piano and both will be starting fencing after the holidays. Dc1 may choose to drop tae kwondo then but that is OK as he will still be doing one sport.

HercShipwright Sun 20-Jul-14 21:34:25

OP perhaps if you let your DS learn an instrument he will have a better circle of friends than you do?

HercShipwright Sun 20-Jul-14 21:31:49


LadyRabbit Sun 20-Jul-14 21:26:45

Gosh. When I was growing up, the general consensus was that the really sporty kids were a bit thick and the orchestra and choir lot were the brain boxes. Occasionally there was an overlap (rugby mad violinists ?!) but they were rare.

Clearly times have changed if sport is seen to trump music.

I'm partial to both and will make sure my DS partakes eqy as he develops.

JaneParker Sun 20-Jul-14 21:13:14

Fitting in is an issue. My teenagers have a music scholarship to their school and in lots of orchestras, bands etc. One is also pretty good at sport and there will often be an away match when there is a concert rehearsal and he has to decide that week which is more important - way up how close they are to the concert, if he's doing a solo, how much the sports team needs him etc. Actually now I think about it that is a useful dilemma as all through our lives we have conflicting demands and have to judge what is important not to miss and what can be missed.

I certainly agree with the posters above saying expose children to lots of interesting hobbies - music, sport or whatever and they will pick what they like. When they were 5 I never imagined my daughters would spend literally 20 hours every weekend at riding stables and show jumping (as they did loads of music at home) yet that then happened - they had exposure to riding from a holiday club at their school and that was that. So just show them lots of things even if they are things you don't do and they can pick what suits them as they get older. Plenty of children enjoy their own company and like to be alone not doing anything and I see nothing wrong with that either.

FeministStar Sun 20-Jul-14 15:23:47

teacher, I reckon my eldest gets more benefit from a daily 2 mile walk than school sports lessons. My youngest (who is asthmatic) does around 4 hours a week of organised sport so is fairly fit thank goodness.

CluelessCrapParent Sun 20-Jul-14 15:03:41

Dd does both, plays piano, guitar and sings in the choir. She was picked for the football and athletics team, as well as for the annual residential inter schools games competition. The only issue is trying to fit it all in.

teacherwith2kids Sun 20-Jul-14 14:58:42

Feminist - by the time I weas in seciondary, my asthma was largely under control, so I participated in all sport while I was there. However, the skills that others pick up in early childhood - in particular running action - was something I always struggled with and this was a problem in most sports!

I am a reasonably fit adult - fitter than many of my school friends - through cycling, swimming and hill walking: school PE is definitely not a 'gateway' to much adult fitness.

needaholidaynow Sun 20-Jul-14 14:57:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FeministStar Sun 20-Jul-14 14:54:44

teacherwith2kids that's a shame that you couldn't participate in sport.

KatyMac Sun 20-Jul-14 13:24:38

Jinsei - dancing is it sport or music? Umm both?

DD hasn't had a PE/Games lesson in about 3yrs but has better stamina & strength than a lot of the teenage athletes locally

teacherwith2kids Sun 20-Jul-14 13:09:36

I am utterly non sporting (childhood asthmatic) and, when training as a teacher, had to be given special essons on 'how to teach dance when you yourself cannot demonstrate'. DH is unmusical to an extreme. We both, deliberately, set ut to expose our children to things we do not do / were not given the chance to do ourselves.

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