Or is sport more important than music?

[Azquilith]

Having an argument with DP about our DS learning music in the future. DP was in an orchestra at school - do kids really play in orchestras any more? Surely it's a bit 1950s and playing sport is more important for development and making friends?

[BackforGood]

It's just so sad that anyone - let alone anyone whose child is just 2!!! - thinks that it needs to be a competition.
Why on earth wouldn't you introduce your child to both, as and when the opportunity arises ?


btw - you can buy a guitar for about the same cost as a pair of football boots, but you don't outgrow a guitar so quickly.

[Iownathreeinchferrari]

I'd say both. Sports essential for physical health and mental health

[PhaedraIsMyName]

Sport is not essential for physical health. I avoided it as much as possible at school. I did Latin and extra Higher Maths to create a timetable clash and haven't played any sport since I was 15. I'm extremely healthy, always have been.

[ModreB]

DS does the following extra-curricular activities.

Rugby.
Latin.
Choir.
Big Band.
Piano.

He learned to read music. Despite me being Music blind.

He said he gets the most out of Latin because, it helps him to read music.

[gointothewoods]

Really?
I did both but was crap at sport, and just about carried myself through various sporting activities. Music was my thing and I excelled at that. Why on earth would you not give your child the opportunity to try a variety of activities?

[Jux]

Active participation in musical activities enhances brain development. There will be many many more neuronal connections within the brains of musicians than non-musicians. Learning to read music, to play or sing in groups (chamber music, orchestras, bands etc) enhances language learning - both native and foreign.

The more connections in your brain, the better it functions.

It absolutely disgusts me that music in schools seems to be given so little weight. DD's primary had many many after school clubs. The only non-sport one was gardening. Music was not encouraged in her school; despite a bang upto date music suite with up to date tech, instruments, equipment etc, she wouldn't allow it to be used as it 'disturbed' other classes. Silly cow. We moved dd.

Oh, and regurgitating Abba is not music.

[UptheChimney]

Active participation in musical activities enhances brain development. There will be many many more neuronal connections within the brains of musicians than non-musicians

^ This ^^

As to class ... interesting that upthread someone attributes desire for sporting prowess as a middle class thing. As someone from a very solid upper middle class background, I'd say it's the reverse. Yes, of course one is physically competent (we rode & sailed) but knowing one's way around a piano, or music more generally, was seen as far more important, as that was culture of the mind.

Maybe it's changed as we're "all middle-class now" according to a former PM

[JaneParker]

Both. Three of our children won music scholarships and I am very musical as is their father and I love accompanying them at the piano at home. If that is old fashioned then fine... I also sing in choirs. It's been a huge life improving thing for me. However most of my children are very very sporty too. One won her school prize for sport in upper sixth and now plays a sport for England in her 20s. The youngest (a teenager) won the class sport prize last year but much more important those who do it love it. We cycle a lot as a family too and do a range of sports. We all ski too.

On the question posed - sport or music, I would say encourage them to do both. Music involves a lot of hard practice and it is very important to learn deferment and hard work as a child. There are far too many slackers around which of course makes it easier if you breed a child who is not a slacker for that child to get on.

I agree with the poster above that traditionally it was music which showed your middle classness - does your family have a piano was a defining characteristic of middle classness a few decades ago. I agree that many of our best athletes at the Olympics were from the 7% of children who go to fee paying schools so I certainly encourage women to pick careers which enable them to pay school fees if they want their children do to great music and sport but you can certainly find them out of school and in state schools.

My older children (20s) do find sport and music can bind them to interviewers and employers. Sadly classical music has become a bit of a more middle class thing these days so may be it gives them a slight edge although I think their accent (and of course much more important personality and abilities and exam results) helps them get on too. My daughter was in a netball team at work. Another daughter does triathlons and that seems to be something a lot of young people her age do so that again can bind you at work. For her current firm she was the only applicant not from Oxbridge on the day of assessments a few years ago (she went to Bristol University) and over lunch she was able to talk about riding - her main teenage activity was show jumping with a partner whose wife keeps their own horses at their farm. However I would not over emphasise that - I am sure had he been interested in stamps she could have talked about that too and it would be things like how high are your exam grades which trump most things.

[Lweji]

Apparently music supports development of mathematical skills.

Sports are also good.

I don't think it should be one or the other. My nephews do both.
DS did both too, but he is not enthusiastic enough about an instrument.


isn't it all football at school and then trying to get on X Factor? Do kids still learn instruments?
Sorry, but just had to LOL at this.

[Lweji]

Oh, there's lots of physical coordination in playing music, along with fine motor skills.

Sports are more to keep healthy, but competition sport is not particularly healthy. Practitioners often get injuries and their bodies are subjected to extreme pressure and conditions.

[cardibach]

Sport more fun? Standing in the rain and wind on a hockey pitch while people you hate hit balls at your ankles? Where's the fun in that?

I have had some of the best laughs - no, actually I think all of the best laughs - of my life with fellow musicians, singers and actors while rehearsing something. I play flute and recorder and sing and have done all 3 on and off since I was a child. I'm 50 this year, so I didn't give up. I know loads of people who do music for fun and many who earn extra money doing so, but I know very few who play competitive sport as adults. Most do some physical activity such as running/walking/cycling though, including the musicians.

As a woodwind player/singer I have a well developed set of lungs - we did a test at work (secondary school) with a lung capacity measuring thingy and mine had the largest capacity - I even beat the PE teachers I also do Musical Theatre so have to be able to move (dance is probably a bit too strong a description...) so keep fit with that. Try doing a very active dance while singing a top C, OP, you'll see how fit you need to be!

DD plays flute and sings as well as enjoying team sport. She went to South Africa to play hockey with school and has competed with singing at a national level. She has performed in a world premiere of a classical work with a National Youth Choir (Karl Jenkins Songs of the Earth in Cardiff for interested musos). Both have given her great pleasure and many opportunities. She is far more likely to carry on with the music, though (try to stop her singing!)
I think music may be losing emphasis in schools because it can't be faked. There is no alternative to putting in the hours to learn the skill. Kids want quick result these days (it's the same reason that learning a foreign language has become less popular) and attitudes like the OPs don't help.

Pass that gin, will you?

[DogCalledRudis]

Depends on a child. Myself i had "a bear stepped on my ears". I took piano lessons as a child, but the teacher gave up on me as i could not hear what i played. My DS1 is the same. DS2 in contrast is very musical. He loves to sing.

[stealthsquiggle]

Leaving aside the laughable OP, this is a discussion that DS finds himself in the middle of at school sometimes. According to the head of music, sport has been allowed to take priority too often. When the sports department organised fixtures which meant the DC would not be back in time for chapel, there was nearly a stand up row as to whether it was more important that they could field a complete cricket team or a complete choir (DS was the overlap in that particular Venn diagram, although there was a similar one about girls sports with more overlap). The head of music fights his corner, and rightly so - the headmaster had to settle that one on the end.

[SunshineQuack]

I think both can be the start of a whole lifetime passion for a child. Or neither could be.

I'd say give DC the chance to try out both music and sport and support them with whatever they want. DH played in bands (he played bass from his teens onwards) and also played rugby (and still does). I hated team sports and as as musical as a brick but made friends through drama societies, through art class, through old fashioned hanging around and chatting. Just help your DC find their passion and they will be OK.

[ForalltheSaints]

As long as music does not become an excuse for missing sport (some children at my school used it as they hated team sports) then there should be room for both. You can be playing a musical instrument into your 70s and still enjoy it, as my mum does.

[MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom]

YABU! I played hockey in school and enjoyed PE, but I also learned to sing, play guitar, ukulele and keyboard, sang in the choir, played in the county orchestra in music. Why can't someone do both?

I used to use music lessons and choir as an excuse to miss Science, not PE

[JustAShopGirl]

I agree with ForalltheSaints there should be room for both - and my dd (piano player and taking up guitar) is one of those who will always use music as an excuse to miss sport -

though now we realise she was using "I've got a piano exam coming up can I practise" instead of doing PE at school, she does come swimming/badminton/table tennis with us some evenings as we feel her physical fitness is just as important to her future health and wellbeing as her music.

[Madcatgirl]

You are being unreasonable. Massively.

Ds1 is very musical, sports not so much though. He tries, but it's no fun being the left out kid. I feel for your son OP, what if he wants to be a flautist? Is that going to disappoint you that he won't be a premiership footballer?

[HouseBaelish]

Oh good god. This is so depressing

Sport is great. I love sport. But music...music speaks to your soul. It's a way of expressing feelings and idea without using words. It's incredibly academic to learn properly (reading music, music theory etc) but also provides fantastic social opportunities. No, it's not for everyone. But to dismiss it as 1950's...

Just this. Is it to early for me to start sobbing into gin?

[Jinsei]

What a bizarre thread!

YABVU - but hopefully you know that now!

[Lweji]

As long as music does not become an excuse for missing sport

Why not?
Why does sport have to have a role in our/their lives?

Physical activity is one thing. Sport is another.

[JaneParker]

cardi in part says what I said above - that fewer learning instruments might just be about children being lazy and wanting the easy option, the no learning by heart, the source materials wheezes, the avoiding foreign languages as it involves hours of sitting there alone learning the words. You cannot fake playing a grade 8 music piece - you have to work hard at it. I think it is very good for children to do things which involve a lot of work. It ensures good habits for life and they can see if you put in the hard work now you reap rewards later - a lesson most of us should learn.

Same with sport - if you want to be good you have to train and work hard.

[queenofthemountain]

Orchestras are a great way to make friends in a new town, and they don't have a 'Season'