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AIBU?

To want to say I told you so?

31 replies

Friendsupport · 22/02/2014 18:30

To my friend. I know her from another forum we have become good friends in RL. Know her over 6 years.

I posted before that she found out her Dh cheated. She confided in me. She buried her head in sand. There was no consequences for him. No counselling etc. A month later she was pregnant.

She's now posted on the other forum that he's out watching the rugby. She's not feeling well but he's now out for the night and she's at home with their ds.

I want to slap her and say why wouldn't he???? She has accepted his lack of respect towards her so now she can't complain.

OP posts:

Report

cardibach · 22/02/2014 18:37

Sorry - why is being out at the rugby showing disrespect? And how does forgiveness of a pas error=losing the right to complain even if he did show some disrespect?

DomesticSlobbess · 22/02/2014 18:39

You sound like great friend

gordyslovesheep · 22/02/2014 18:40

yeh she deserves to be treated like shit - make sure you tell her that when you slap her

Friendsupport · 22/02/2014 18:42

He is out all afternoon and now for the rest if the night while his sick pregnant wife is at home with their young son.

Any decent man would have come home after the match to look after them. Especially a man who had cheated if he was genuinely sorry and wanting to make amends.

She didn't forgive him, she has chosen to ignore it.

Aibu to think that means she doesn't get to complain?

OP posts:

Friendsupport · 22/02/2014 18:43

I just think that if you don't respect yourself then no one else will.

OP posts:

FutTheShuckUp · 22/02/2014 18:44

I'd love to slap a friend like you tbh.
There are many a time my generally great husband is a fuckwit and I want to vent, if some smuggo like you came along and said told you so, well just wait until your OH pissed you off!

squoosh · 22/02/2014 18:44

You sound cold and gloaty.

I feel sorry for her, crap husband and crap friend.

tripecity · 22/02/2014 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 22/02/2014 18:44

So because she wanted to stay in her marriage she is not allowed to complain?

I would suggest no longer being friends with her, you obviously find her annoying.

FutTheShuckUp · 22/02/2014 18:46

Yes she does get to complain, her fella may be a cunt. She may not have the self esteem to up and leave, how the hell do you think so many women end up in abusive relationships? Or are you one of those ignorant 'waaahh well that would never happen to me because id walk out' type of people?

MrsDeVere · 22/02/2014 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JockTamsonsBairns · 22/02/2014 18:46

How do you know he's out for the rest of the night?

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 22/02/2014 18:47

Why do you call yourself 'friend'?

FutTheShuckUp · 22/02/2014 18:48

Your username is oddly ironic....

EduCated · 22/02/2014 18:50

You are not a friend

DomesticSlobbess · 22/02/2014 18:50

Did you honestly expect everyone to say, "YANBU. Please tell her what a mug she is. That will definitely help her current situation"

No. You are not a friend. Poor woman. Trying to keep her life together and rather than offer support you just want to be smug about it.

Friendsupport · 22/02/2014 18:51

I haven't said this to her and I haven't slapped her.

I am a good friend. I listened and cried with her. I didn't tell her to ltb. I advised her to have an honest discussion as a couple to see where they were. Where they wanted to be.

She listened. She said she didn't know if she could face it. She chose to ignore it. Nothing has changed for her.

I'm incredibly sad that my wonderful friend thinks so little of herself that she's willing to accept this from life.

I haven't slapped her. I just think that she doesn't get to complain about his behaviour if she isn't willing to talk to him about it.

OP posts:

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 22/02/2014 18:51

I thought that Fut

Jolleigh · 22/02/2014 18:51

With friends like you, eh?

When you say 'I told you so' because her OH went to watch the rugby, please to give her the heads up that she can't vent about the bad stuff to you.

pictish · 22/02/2014 18:51

You can think it...plenty of people do under these sorts of circumstances...but you mustn't say it.

It's like someone on here said once (and I think it's brilliant) - if someone treats you like shit, it is their fault, and not because of something you have done.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 22/02/2014 18:51

You cried with her

But now want to slap her

Friendsupport · 22/02/2014 18:52

I know he's out for the night because she's complaining about it.

OP posts:

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FutTheShuckUp · 22/02/2014 18:52

Who tf are you to tell someone they dont get to complain about something? Good grief!

MrsDeVere · 22/02/2014 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DomesticSlobbess · 22/02/2014 18:56

So should your friend just put up and shut up now? Better for her to be quietly unhappy with things rather than feel she has a friend who she can offload to.

Who needs enemies with friends like you.

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