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To think it is reasonable that ds and debilitating stay in a hotel.

(44 Posts)
Busybusybust Wed 25-Dec-13 22:04:25

OK, bit of background.

Iam youngest of 3 children. We are all in our sixties. I am a widow and have 4 single grown up children, my sister and bil have none (not her choice - miscarriages). All my children are home for Christmas, which is very lovely. I have a 3 bedroom house, so kids doubled up in two of the bedrooms and me in my room (double room obs.).

So my sister wants to come and stay whilst the kids are here, and I have said, Ok, would be great to see you, but the house is full, but there is a travel Lodge just down the road which you could stay in. It's easy walking distance from my house.

Today, yes, Christmas Day! She rang and said that they would come down on Saturday, but just for the day, as she 'couldn't possibly stay in one of those places'. Now it's a very long way to come just for the day, and she obviously wants me to move out of my bedroom and sleep on the sofa and let them have my room. Mmmmm, not prepared to do this, given there is a alternative just down the road. AIBU?

Sirzy Wed 25-Dec-13 22:06:27

If she is happy to do the trip in a day let her. You have told her you can't put her up and offered an alternative- up to her now what she does, but don't give in and let her stay.

NatashaBee Wed 25-Dec-13 22:07:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

totally agree with Sirzy - it's her choice, if she prefers to drive then let her!

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn Wed 25-Dec-13 22:09:03

You don't want to give up your room.
She doesn't want to stay in a Travel Lodge.

Nothing wrong with either really.

ProudAS Wed 25-Dec-13 22:09:36

Should debilitating be DBIL?

SantasPelvicFloor Wed 25-Dec-13 22:11:54

I would do the same as you. My bed is MY bed.

ElloGuvnor Wed 25-Dec-13 22:15:26

YANBU if she really wants to visit she can stay at the travelodge. Stick to your guns and hang on to your bed.

IamInvisible Wed 25-Dec-13 22:19:46

I'd pack an overnight bag, some nice snacks and a good book and bugger off to the Travellodge myself for some peace and quiet. On Sunday morning I'd have a long lie and come back at lunchtime!fwink

Busybusybust Wed 25-Dec-13 22:27:27

Yup, sorry, debilitating should be bil. (Embarrassed smiley). She is so guilt-tripping me!

legoplayingmumsunite Wed 25-Dec-13 22:29:43

I would just assume she just wanted to come for the day. PILs have done this a few times, I had never thought to offer them our bed confused. If they wanted to stay they could afford a hotel and the same is true of your sister, nothing wrong with a travel lodge but if she doesn't want to stay there she can go online and book a posher place a bit further away.

ProudAS Wed 25-Dec-13 22:36:04

I love "Debilitating" - could use it for my BIL

MidniteScribbler Wed 25-Dec-13 23:07:05

Tell her to bring an air mattress and she can sleep in the lounge. Bet the travel lodge won't sound so bad then.

Nanny0gg Wed 25-Dec-13 23:26:58

Honest opinion - not very hospitable.

How often do you see her and do you actually want to see her?

Gruntfuttock Wed 25-Dec-13 23:39:25

Well, I can only say what I would have done in your situation, which is to give her my bed and sleep on the sofa myself. I certainly wouldn't expect her to pay to stay at a hotel overnight.

breatheslowly Wed 25-Dec-13 23:47:04

Is there a nicer hotel you cold suggest?

differentnameforthis Thu 26-Dec-13 01:26:34

I would give her my bed, and get a put u up type thing in one of the rooms. I would have a bed & get one of the dc to have the put u up.

I wish my family would all get on so we could enjoy xmas like this.

And to be fair to her,Travel lodges are the utter pits.

Busybusybust Thu 26-Dec-13 08:36:31

My house is very small, and the ground flor is open plan, so sleeping on the sofa can be far from restful. They are very wealthy, so money is not the problem.

I would say that the 'I can't stay in I'm of those places' remark was followed by 'I don't think you know how ill I've been foe the past 4 weeks'. It's like I'm asking her to stay in the workhouse. There is a very posh hotel at the other side of (small) town. Should I suggest they stay there?

BohemianGirl Thu 26-Dec-13 08:41:18

All my children are home for Christmas, which is very lovely. I have a 3 bedroom house, so kids doubled up in two of the bedrooms and me in my room (double room obs.).

Ah, I'd kick one set of kids onto the sofa grin

DowntonTrout Thu 26-Dec-13 08:41:34

There's nothing wrong with a Traveldodgy, if it's just to sleep in. It's just somewhere to go to bed. In the morning she could just get up, get ready and come back to you for breakfast. That's what we have done when visiting friends whist their spare room was out of action.

raisah Thu 26-Dec-13 08:43:18

An airbed in the living room. Once she sleeps on one, she will be wishing she had stayed at the travel lodge.

raisah Thu 26-Dec-13 08:46:04

Or posh hotel if she is paying. I have stayed in travel lodges when space is tight when visiting family & family. Nowt wrong with a travel lodge...

She's a snob. And I adore 'debilitating'.

I would say "That's fine, if you only want to come down for the day. It sounds exhausting, but it's your decision."

And end the conversation.

No one gets my bed. Ever.

ivykaty44 Thu 26-Dec-13 08:54:12

Tell her she is welcome to stay for the day but it will be a very long And as she has been so I'll for four weeks this must be considered as there is no room at your place if she can't manage the drive home. Tell her to look at posh hotel details in case she feels this maybe a better solution to her trip


Bunbaker Thu 26-Dec-13 09:00:37

If there is no room at the inn is there a spare table you could put her up in? grin

Actually, if I had been ill for several weeks I'm not sure that I would want to share a house with 6 other adults. I would have preferred the privacy of a hotel room with an en suite bathroom.

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