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To think everyone's children can't be "very bright"

(240 Posts)
DrinkFromMyFountain Fri 13-Sep-13 19:25:51

Because a good 80% or posters/people in RL seem to refer to their kids as "very bright", surely 80% of kids can't be above average?

As the proud mother of a three month old I'm not fussed if my DS is "bright" or not, if he isn't academic I'm sure he will have other talents!

I hereby declare I shan't constantly boast about how bright he is unless he is a full in genius grin. As my mother always said, there is nothing wrong with being average.

HandragsAndGladbags Fri 13-Sep-13 19:27:13

Ah well my are the brightest so this isn't an issue for me wink

All kids are bright in their own way, it doesn't have to mean academic.

Tinlegs Fri 13-Sep-13 19:28:31

As a teacher, I notice that actually far more children have low self esteem and expect too little of themselves. I would love it if they all saw themselves as bright and worked to achieve high goals. Parents should want their children to excel and be happy, not just outperform the neighbours.

Stropzilla Fri 13-Sep-13 19:29:08

Mine is. So there wink .

SummerRain Fri 13-Sep-13 19:30:18

One of mine isn't, the other two are (when it comes to iq tests and standardised tests anyway, not so much at the day to day stuff)

My not bright child will probably have the beat outcome in life though so I don't think it means much tbh.

All kids are good at some stuff but not others, so it's perfectly plausible that 80% of children are ahead of their peers in some aspects. Very few are outstandingly bright across the board however.

Portofino Fri 13-Sep-13 19:30:36

You that now wink

ViviDeBeauvoir Fri 13-Sep-13 19:30:53

FYI ALL children are 'bright'

'Bright' doesn't mean 'above average' it means that they shine.
They all do, in their own lovely way. <softie>

KatyTheCleaningLady Fri 13-Sep-13 19:30:59

One of my three children is, honestly, "very bright." The other two... well, there are speech and language issues, so it's hard to say. I think they're amazing, but I don't brag that they're "very bright."

Sparklingbrook Fri 13-Sep-13 19:31:01

A lot of DC on MN are very bright. grin

Ragwort Fri 13-Sep-13 19:31:15

I don't know where you live but no one I know says their child is bright grin - my own child is lazy, academically average on a good day and I fully understand where the teachers are coming from when they say he is over opinionated and stroppy a bit like his father.

Portofino Fri 13-Sep-13 19:31:57

You say that now.

LadyStark Fri 13-Sep-13 19:32:11

I suspect Mumsnet isn't a representative sample. Anyone who cares enough about parenting to join a parenting website probably also cares a lot about education and therefore inputs considerably into school, home learning etc.

It's self-selection bias (although there probably is still a bit of good old parental bias in there too!).

Ragwort Fri 13-Sep-13 19:32:12

Of course, a lot of us are very bright here on Mumsnet grin.

Zizio Fri 13-Sep-13 19:32:35

Yes or no depending on whether one has a fixed mindset or growth mindset. The human brain is highly capable of learning anything with the right support and environment.

Bowlersarm Fri 13-Sep-13 19:33:17

Mine aren't particularly bright. Lovely. But not academic. Tis very annoying.

OddBoots Fri 13-Sep-13 19:33:24

Parental views of all sorts are probably inaccurate but I don't think it does any harm for a child to hear generally positive things about themselves. I'm sure there are harmful extremes but I don't think the word 'bright' counts, it's too vague.

My mum grew up being told by her dad that she was useless and the impact of that still shows.

FourGates Fri 13-Sep-13 19:33:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Absolutelylost Fri 13-Sep-13 19:34:44

My 5 year old has just been sent home with an IEP as she's on the gifted and talented register. I have 3 older children and they've all done really well, but the little one is in a different league. Must admit, I do feel rather smug!

CreatureRetorts Fri 13-Sep-13 19:35:29

Mine are. So there.

catgirl1976 Fri 13-Sep-13 19:35:53

Mine is the very brightest

And cutest

And sweetest

And funniest

Isn't everyone's? smile

Zizio Fri 13-Sep-13 19:36:08

Yes or no depending on whether one has a fixed mindset or growth mindset. The human brain is highly capable of learning anything with the right support and environment.

sydlexic Fri 13-Sep-13 19:37:18

My DS is amazingly bright, I first found MN when looking for advice on gifted DC's, I think that is true for a lot of people. It is easier to talk about DS on here than in RL. I also think the same is true of DC with SN and prenatal problems.

CombineBananaFister Fri 13-Sep-13 19:40:35

I think it's only natural that most mums notice the things their kids are good at (and of course they're going to be slightly biased sometimes as you love your child) it would be odd if you didn't, surely? But, I do know what you mean to some extent, those who are blinded by maternal love thinking their little ones are fantastic at EVERYTHING grin which is ok if you don't constantly bang on about it.
But I think you have be realistic about what they are crap at as well and also realize that sometimes neither the good or bad matters, it's having a happy child that counts.
Being bright isn't the be all and end all, academia can be overated, I think social skills are just as important when they're young - the 'geniusness' ?!? can peter out too as they all catch up with each other

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Fri 13-Sep-13 19:45:10

DD1 is clever enough I guess, but is verrrrry conscientious, works really really hard and makes up for it with hard graft.

DD2 is actually much brighter but hates doing stuff "she doesn't think she is good at" and has a reputation at school for daydreaming, not concentrating and generally pissing around.

They are both awesome grin

commuterbelt Fri 13-Sep-13 19:47:06

on mn they're all bright. i hate that phrase as if some children are 'dim' sad

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