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AIBU?

...to not want to kiss my husband when he refuses to shave off his moustache?

41 replies

BadSeedsAddict · 09/09/2013 17:54

Honestly, you'd think I'd asked him to cut his balls off. Over nine years this has been a continual area of disagreement, with him sometimes not having one, then going back to it as if I'm a terrible person who threatens his individuality and should just put up with the horrible thing in my face every so often.

Would anyone agree that me refusing to shave my legs unless I feel like it (practically never) would be a suitable retort; or is this just petulant and childish?

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Smoorikins · 09/09/2013 17:59

Would you shave your head if he wanted you to?

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LaurieFairyCake · 09/09/2013 18:01

I've some sympathy

If dh shaved his moustache and wee goatie I wouldn't like to snog him.

I've deterred him by showing massive sexual enthusiasm for it

You will have to do the same. Huge sexual high jinks when clean shaven and a boaky face when hairy.

He will get the message.

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BoozyBear · 09/09/2013 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrspremise · 09/09/2013 18:06

I've been unsuccessfully trying to persuade my dh to grow a 'tache for ages! I think it would really suit him, but he says it's a full beard or nothing so hmph! I don't really bother to shave my legs anyway, so I can't use that tactic

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chartreuse · 09/09/2013 18:07

YANBU

Dh grew a moustache for Movember a couple of years and I could hardly bare to look at him. It was vile

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KirjavaTheCat · 09/09/2013 18:09

My DP doesn't look right without his face decor, I don't like it when he shaves.

But each to their own, including your husband!

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CharityFunDay · 09/09/2013 18:09

Spanish proverb: "A kiss without a moustache is like an egg without salt"

So be told.

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JumpingJackSprat · 09/09/2013 18:10

yanbu. if he wants a moustache he better accept youre not prepared to kiss it. horrible things.

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Yonihadtoask · 09/09/2013 18:10

YANBU OP.

My DH grew a faceful recently and I avoided him like the plague. It did not suit him.

He hasn't grown it back since

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BadSeedsAddict · 09/09/2013 18:11

Ah no, boaky face doesn't work! Do you know, it actually upsets me because I don't like not kissing him. It means I feel less close to him iykwim. It's bristly, not soft, and what I mean by not shaving my legs is, that's kind of a prerequisite to DTD, which seems somewhat unfair. I'd be up for shaving my head anyway and have been known to

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BadSeedsAddict · 09/09/2013 18:12

CharityFunDay god help me if he ever hears that saying!

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pianodoodle · 09/09/2013 18:14

I don't like DH to shave his moustache it makes him look too much younger than me!

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KirjavaTheCat · 09/09/2013 18:15

Oh no no no, he asks you to shave your legs before engaging in le bonk?

Yanbu!

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Smoorikins · 09/09/2013 18:20

Ah, but it's one thing choosing to shave your head, it's quite another doing it because your husband says he won't 'insert suitable action here' unless you do.

His face, his choice.

Does he ask you to shave your legs, or do you choose to do it?

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MrsLouisTheroux · 09/09/2013 18:22

charity Egg and salt Yuck.

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valiumredhead · 09/09/2013 18:26

I love ds with a moustache and beard! He's clean shaven for work but in the holidays he lets it grow

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BadSeedsAddict · 09/09/2013 18:27

Well yes exactly (about shaved head). Yes he does ask, he doesn't like the stubbliness! So I'm confused, am I being unreasonable to refuse to shave my legs or not? Because he seems to think this is far worse than the 'tache thing. Although that might be because he is ALWAYS up for it, where I am not (and yes half the time it's the sodding 'tache).

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Pickle131 · 09/09/2013 18:40

Tell him you couldn't possibly engage in any night time activity because your libido has suffered a huge hit. It seems petty on the face of it to threaten not to shave, but that's because there's no need - you only need to refuse his advances until he stops being a turn-off. I think it's important to remain attractive to one's husband / wife, and he's just not doing that. To be honest, you may find you're not attracted to him even once the facial hair's gone if he keeps this up long enough. Negative associations are hard to get rid of! YANBU!

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PrincessFlirtyPants · 09/09/2013 18:44

YANBU, I hate it when my DH has stubble as it gives me a rash when we kiss

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BadSeedsAddict · 09/09/2013 19:34

Thanks - was unsure about posting this as seemed so silly but I feel less unreasonable now!

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Isabelonatricycle · 09/09/2013 19:59

YANBU - I've always made men I'm going to be kissing shave since an old boyfriend rubbed my chin so raw I ended up with scabs all over it (and no, it wasn't an infection :-P)
Although if it is a proper beard it can be silky and soft, and so presumably the same holds true for a moustache, rather than stubble?

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redcaryellowcar · 09/09/2013 20:06

YANBU , dh had a vile goatee when I first met him, kissed him once and asked him to get rid, luckily he was suitably smitten he did so without argument, now if he is being lazy he gets a day or two of stubble at weekends but I can't stand kissing him, so he will usually shave just for a snog!
If I were you I would shave legs, float about looking fabulous but not allow him any 'fun' until he is also clean shaven!? (or is that too mean?)

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LadyRabbit · 09/09/2013 20:31

YANBU OP. I saw a good friend of mine recently who prides himself on his fine beard. Or so he thinks. It actually smells the bigger it gets, a bit like sour milk. I find it unpleasant and think someone ought to say something as he's actually very clean but his beard cannot help but trap "stuff".

It's making me feel a bit queasy just thinking about it actually.

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BadSeedsAddict · 10/09/2013 21:42

Well I don't know if it's the new confidence knowing so many other people agree with me, has given me - but the 'tache has gone!! I'm really happy now where's that 'I just had great sex' thread someone said about starting, I'll be needing that later...

...thank you all!

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lastnightIwenttoManderley · 16/02/2014 08:24

Help! Just found this thread and have the same problem. DH likes to look quirky. A light beard suits him but they are only allowed moustaches at work so, since the summer, he has been cultivating the face slug. He seems to be channelling Von Bismarck stylewise...

When we go out and he makes an effort he does look very dapper, however the rest of the time he looks like a 118 man. I hate kissing him with it as its all furry and goes up my nose. He also reminds me of my dad. All of this is a massive physical turn off.

i hate the lost intimacy but just can't get over it. I've hinted gently and recently graduated to telling him exactly why when he asks why i don't want to kiss him (and therefore not anything more involved either). He says he likes to look quirky and so i need to accept that...

Any advice please?