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Oh joy, it's another Teacher's Present thread!

(96 Posts)
DrSeuss Sun 14-Jul-13 09:41:44

So, I stupidly said I'd do the collection. I informed parents via slips in book bags, no sum was mentioned. I deliberately kept no record of who donated and how much, that's up to the individual. Our catchment is very mixed and I don't want to know people's financial situation. Some gave a lot, some a little, some didn't give. My way of collecting was just to stand in the playground twice a day as usual, never asked anyone directly for money. So far, so what, right?
Except that two mums now want a card attached to the present, listing who donated. One says it is "important" that the teacher knows who gave. Er, why? We are buying a gift to say thanks for being a great teacher, not for a pat on the head!
Abui to just send the gift with a card saying, "From the families of your Y6 students"?

viewwitharoom Sun 14-Jul-13 11:23:03

Ok I must be very rude then because I have never sent thank you notes. Always a thank you to the class and not just for any gift but genuine thanks for their contributions to the class during the year (so it would be to everyone in the class)
Just out of interest how do you send these thank you notes home, via child?
Just consider the card and gift which only has some pupils names on it. Don't you think that sours the whole thing from the teacher's point of view? I know it would for me.

manicinsomniac Sun 14-Jul-13 11:28:42

viewwitharoom I don't think you are particularly rude as you thank in person. I send notes home in the envelope with the child's report because the children go home at lots of different times, some are boarders and duty staff see the children out of school not class teachers. So, unless they come to speak to me about something, I don't see the parents to say thank you to. Plus our reports go out on the last day of term so it's easy to put a card in.

pudcat Sun 14-Jul-13 11:30:23

Well I must be very rude then because I have never sent thank you notes to all the parents and children who contributed to my leaving/retirement present. The card said from all parents past and present. I said a verbal thank you through my tears to everyone I saw at my leaving speech at assembly and to anyone who gave me an individual token. I would hate a class collection each year though.

exoticfruits Sun 14-Jul-13 11:30:57

I think it is quite horrible to leave some names off because they had parents who didn't contribute-why does it matter?

I wrote thank you letters because I don't expect children to do things that I don't do myself. They were in a new class by the time they got them and I can't think that anyone else noticed. Junior aged children do not go around saying 'oh look at my letter from Mrs Exotic'!

exoticfruits Sun 14-Jul-13 11:34:16

I never sent thank you letters to the parents-I never had a class collection present, except when leaving when I just wrote a thank you letter for all. I had no idea who contributed-it never crossed my mind that it mattered-and it would have just been to 'all' anyway.

On the individual front, if a child has spent time making something it is nice to give them a little note.

exoticfruits Sun 14-Jul-13 11:36:38

The thank you notes were quite largely for my own DCs benefit-we used to have 'blood, sweat and tears' (mainly mine!) getting them to write the things. If you then say that you are an adult ,and don't need to,it doesn't leave a leg to stand on!

thestringcheesemassacre Sun 14-Jul-13 11:47:09

We do the sticky label in card for teachers. Kids write their name on it and draw/decorate if they like.
It would be bloody hilarious/gobsmacking if the parent wrote the £ amount they contributed.

pooquickly Sun 14-Jul-13 11:58:02

I'm doing the class collection this year and have had a lot of input on how they think I should be doing it. Just do what you want to do. If they don't agree then maybe they should do it next time !

CloudsAndTrees Sun 14-Jul-13 12:02:35

YANBU, because its just distasteful to give a teacher a card with only some of the children's and parents names on it.

But I can understand people wanting their donation to be acknowledged somehow so that the teacher knows they donated and are therefore appreciated.

That's not to say that the teacher isn't appreciated by people who have chosen not to donate, but if someone has chosen not to donate, then they have chosen not to show their thanks and appreciation through the collection.

It's all very well to say that we should give freely, but if that were strictly true then none of us would ever expect thanks for the gifts we give, and it wouldn't be seen as rude when people don't say thank you.

I would give these women the benefit of the doubt and think that they just want the teacher to know that they have thought of her.

GreenSkittles Sun 14-Jul-13 12:10:18

If they insist on a list, simply list every name from the class. If they want to run around being private detective and double checking who donated, let them waste their time.

manicinsomniac Sun 14-Jul-13 13:59:54

I didn't find it distasteful to get a card written by some of the children in my class for a very generous gift from their parents. Approximately 10 of the children's parents had joined together. Another 4-5 did their own thing. 2-3 didn't get anything.

I don't know offhand who those parents were, nor do I mind in the slightest. But I don't feel any less pleased and grateful for the group present because it wasn't signed by everyone. I think that's quite a strange attitude.

melody1771 Sun 14-Jul-13 14:08:10

I think you must know a lot of rude teachers!!! I always write a thank you the children as they are the ones who gave it me even if the parents actually paid for it.


paulapantsdown Sun 14-Jul-13 17:59:00

Well thanks for calling me petty!

Ok this is the scenario,you have 30 families, each one is asked if they would like to contribute to a collection. 20 families contribute, the remaining 10 decide they either can't afford, don't like the teacher, have done their own thing etc.... then a card is sent around to all 30 parents to sign it? How stupid and pathetic is that?

Next time there is a collection at work for sometime I barely know, I won't put in, but will accept thanks for something I didn't contribute to? Yeah that makes sense.

As I said earlier, I didn't put into the collections this year as I had done my own thing,(and written my own card with the kids) I therefore would not dream of signing the card to go with the gift purchased with the collection. To do so would be rude.

DrSeuss Sun 14-Jul-13 18:12:45

I never said you were petty.
I never suggested that people sign a card, donors or not. I wanted a gift to be given, no names, just a nice surprise.

I will never volunteer to do a collection again and would not recommend someone else to get involved. My serious efforts at sensitivity, discretion and good manners were apparently a waste of time as some will not give unless they get credit for their gift, not in a group but personally. Why did I bother waiting till I got home to open donations given to me in an envelope? I should have just yelled the donor's name and a figure across the playground! Why did I bother?

Bogeyface Sun 14-Jul-13 18:33:24

Could the teachers answer for me?

How do you feel about receiving presents at the end of term? Do you expect? Appreciate it? Do you care if certains parents children do or dont give you gifts?

I have never done teachers gifts, it wasnt the expected thing when DS started school 117 years ago, and not really dont when DD started 11 years ago. Around here at least, it has only really started happening in the last 5 years or so. This year there is no way I could afford it, but I do always support the fetes and fundraising events. In fact this years Summer Fete (yesterday) was woefully underattending and I got lots of parent points from the Head Mistress for attending grin

Bogeyface Sun 14-Jul-13 18:34:22

That would be 17 years ago, I am not that old gringrin

Bogeyface Sun 14-Jul-13 18:35:10

Oh FFS! Ignore the typos, knackered and hot!

rabbitlady Sun 14-Jul-13 18:39:28

what a pain.
teachers want a simple card with a nice message.
if you want to do more add a specific reference to something they have done that was good/beyond what was expected etc, so they can use it for evidence in performance management.

exoticfruits Sun 14-Jul-13 18:48:45

As a teacher you don't expect anything, you appreciate it if they do bother. A handmade card with a personal message from the child ( not dictated by the parent) is best.
I can't see the need for class collections if they cause this much bother. I also don't see why you don't have a square for each DC to sign the card- regardless of whose parents gave- and the parent doesn't need to sign at all.

exoticfruits Sun 14-Jul-13 18:51:14

I go back more than 17 yrs with my DCs and everyone did it then. It isn't new- except it was always personal and not collected.

Bogeyface Sun 14-Jul-13 19:01:33

exotic Whereabouts in the country are you?

I am in the North East Mids, and we tend to be quite significantly behind the times grin

pudcat Sun 14-Jul-13 19:04:26

I much preferred little cards either made by or written on by the children. Also I had lovely letters which I have kept from parents. Until now I have never heard of class collections for end of year or Christmas, only for a teacher leaving. With the collection gift (I do not approve) could you just put a card with it saying "Thank you for teaching Class ...... Hope you enjoy the holidays" and then no one has signed it.

exoticfruits Sun 14-Jul-13 19:06:58

The South- that probably accounts for it!

viewwitharoom Sun 14-Jul-13 19:21:45

The personal messages from pupil or parent, the odd box of chocs shared in the department, the platter of freshly made samosas and pakora that were shared in the staffroom!
For what its worth Dr Seuss I think you went about it in the best way but sadly these things are always doomed when some people think their contribution means they can dictate terms and conditions!

exoticfruits Sun 14-Jul-13 20:12:14

If you do it again just tell those who query it that everyone put in- stops the

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