to ask this man at work out over email?

[SeeingTheLight]

He sits on the opposite side of the room to me and I have quite a school girl crush on him, even though I've never spoken to him. I get the impression that he only really speaks to people in his department.

Would it be creepy if I sent him an email? (on the system at work everyones work email is listed)

If it was the other way around and a man sent a woman an email it would be viewed as sweet, but I think a woman sending a man an email could be seen as desperate.

(He is also single btw)

[HollyBerryBush]

Why can't you speak to him?

[MalcolmTuckersMum]

I wouldn't. What if he's not interested at all? Has he given you any hint that he might be? If he bums you out then you've got to spend the rest of forever sitting opposite him wishing you hadn't been such a donk!

[Rindercella]

I wouldn't if I were you. Remember that work emails are not private so someone in your IT department - or your manager - could see it.

No chance of bumping into him at the photocopier or coffee machine?

[FreddieMisaGREATshag]

Not over work email. That could leads to all kinds of a shitstorm depending on your work policy on email and internet use.

[HollyBerryBush]

Does he go to lunch? follow him into the lift, contrive a meeting in the café, sandwich shop and have a conversation.

[NoelHeadbands]

If you haven't even approached him, then yes


CREEPY

And I'd say the same if it was a man sending to a woman

[flossy101]

I wouldn't, what if he didn't reply?

could you not engineer a meeting, follow him when he goes to the canteen, on his way out at home time etc? And get chatting that way?

[SavoyCabbage]

Nooooooo, don't. You need to speak to him if you want to go out with him.

[livinginwonderland]

work e-mails aren't private! plus, you've never even spoken to him before. bump into him and get to know him :)

[Salmotrutta]

I always go with the motto:
"Never put anything in a work e-mail that you wouldn't be happy to show the world"

Works for me.

[janey68]

Big no no to do this over work email! And that applies both ways round- I would say the same to a man.
What on earth is wrong with striking up a real life conversation ?

[Salmotrutta]

And yes, it would be a bit weird too.

[Ragwort]

Surely no one thinks it is 'sweet' if a man asks a woman out over email - or have I just been out of the workplace too long? I would think it totally inappropriate.

What is wrong with the old fashioned way of chatting over coffee/the water cooler/photocopier /getting to know each other in a meeting or whatever your work environment is and then asking him out if there is any 'interest'?

[HollyBerryBush]

If he fancied you, there would have been eye contact across a crowded floor by now.

[SeeingTheLight]

Oh .... Guess I'll just have to let this one go.

We don't have a lift at work and only have 10 minute breaks and half an hour lunch - always at different times during the day. So it's unlikely we would ever have one at the same time.

[Salmotrutta]

I remember when offices had those funny machines that had a turning handle - Bandas? - they made inky looking copies.

And carbon paper

[Salmotrutta]

Surely you could find a reason to loiter with intent in his general deskage area?

Drop something and spend ages tidying it up?

[SeeingTheLight]

What on earth is wrong with striking up a real life conversation ?

I'm not a shy person and I would prefer a real life conversation, but I have no reason to ever go over to his side of the room - the photocopier and water cooler is right next to me, and he's never used either of them whilst I've been there.

[Ragwort]

Salmon - do you remember the telex machines as well (not even sure if that is the right word?? . I even learned to type on a manual typewriter, so excited when I got a 'golf ball' !!!!

[NoelHeadbands]

But you do have a reason to go over to his side of the room- to strike up a conversation with him!

[LeaveTheBastid]

I'd be mortified if someone I probably didn't even know existed sent me an email via the work system

Don't do it, honestly. If you won't approach him in person then just keep him as what he is, something pretty to look at when the day drags. He could be an absolute dick for all you know!

[HollyBerryBush]

telex machines, with the ticker tape that you shoved in and it punched little holes out?

Ronex, with the pink tippex stuff?

ah those were the days

[Ragwort]

What sort of environment do you work in that 'you would never have reason to go his side of the room'? Genuine question, I can't imagine working in an office where you wouldn't speak to other colleagues, even if it is just a chat about the weather/working conditions/something in the news - do you really, really not have the opportunity to say 'good morning' to him?

How big is your office?

But I am from the era where we used to have regular sherry parties every Friday - My boss had a drinks cabinet in her room - guess that wouldn't be allowed these days !

[HollyBerryBush]

light bulb<

I am genius, I am - why don't you organise a general Friday night after works drink and send out a whole floor email?

Used to work in my world

[Salmotrutta]

I was well jel of people who had typewriters.

My dad had an ancient old thing that weighed five tons and he used to let us play with it sometimes.

"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"

Them were the days... When it was all fields round here