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AIBU?

To want a third dc ?

38 replies

ALittleBitOfMagic · 14/05/2013 20:17

I have an 8yo dd and a 6mo ds . We live in a two bed flat so are cramped as it is and would definitely need to move , but I so want a third child . And soon - within 1-3 years . Am I mad ?

If you have three or more , how did you make the decision ?

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MolotovCocktail · 14/05/2013 20:59

I can't help OP, but am interested as we're in a similar situation!

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diddlediddledumpling · 14/05/2013 21:03

We have three, youngest is 16m. We don't really have enough bedrooms to accommodate everyone properly, but it doesn't matter. I always wanted three and feel like the family is complete now. Ds3 is a delight and I'm so glad we had him.
It is busy, laundry rules my life and I know it will get more expensive in the future. But I love it.

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olivertheoctopus · 14/05/2013 21:05

I'm pg with DS3. DS1 is 4.5 and DS2 is 2. DH was much more keen than me but here we are and I'm ok with it all altho finding pregnancy a bit wearing having previously accepted that i wasn't going to do it again! We have a 3 bedroom house and no plans to move. Biggest issue was purchase of a fecking massive car which we can fit 3 seats into.

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jellybeans · 14/05/2013 21:07

YANBU. If you want a third go for it!

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MolotovCocktail · 14/05/2013 21:13

But how would you fit 3 DCs into a 2 bed property? (Not directed at you, OP: we're in a 2 bed right now, too).

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jellybeans · 14/05/2013 21:19

I had 4 in a 2 before we moved. It was fine for a while while they were little.

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jellybeans · 14/05/2013 21:20

My third DC turned out to be twins though!

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ALittleBitOfMagic · 14/05/2013 21:20

We wouldn't mol we would definitely need to move before the third came along .

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ALittleBitOfMagic · 14/05/2013 21:21

jelly I would looooove to have twins ! I think if ds had've been twins though I wouldn't be starting this thread

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amazingmumof6 · 14/05/2013 21:23

6 kids here - house is bursting at the seams, yet I want 2 more...

Of course I will say go for it!

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jellybeans · 14/05/2013 21:25

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Fakebook · 14/05/2013 21:25

We were in a similar situation about 8 months ago. At first I thought it was because ds had weaned and my periods started again so it was just silly hormones. I waited about 3-4 months to see how I felt and realised I really wanted dc3 whilst dc2 was still a toddler. I'm 15 weeks pregnant now, so took the plunge. I don't know how it will affect the dynamics of our family but I always wanted a small age gap between my children and couldn't do it with dc1 and dc2, so I'm happy at least dc2 and dc3 will be closer in age.

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scottishmummy · 14/05/2013 21:29

can you afford another baby?are you both healthy?can you afford undertake move
your post is all about you?presumably dp want another baby?
I don't think it's a case of if you want another baby,both of you need to agree

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cantspel · 14/05/2013 21:29

Unless you move so the older child can have some space of their own i dont think you would be being fair of the older child. In 3 years your 8 year old will be starting secondary school so shouldn't be expected to share with a baby and toddler.

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ALittleBitOfMagic · 14/05/2013 21:30

fake I want a small age gap this time too thats why I don't want to wait any more than three years . I had dd very young (teenage mum) and I knew then I wanted more but I wanted to be married and have my degree first . That's why I have a 7 year age gap . But I ached so badly for a second child i don't want to put myself through that again and I don't want the DCs to be so far apart (although ds has a second wee mummy in dd she is my best little helper )

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ALittleBitOfMagic · 14/05/2013 21:31

Scottish dh would have a whole football team if he had his way

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scottishmummy · 14/05/2013 21:38

smashing!just checking.so you could have a 5 aside team
well done on your achievements, btw

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TheSpreadsheet · 14/05/2013 21:46

Only as mad as us! I have a 9yo and an 18 month old & we live in a 2 bed house and will be trying for another later this year as time is not on our side with regards to age (40 next year). If we somehow cannot move into a 3 bed by then we'll just sleep downstairs so the eldest can have their own room until we do.

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williaminajetfighter · 14/05/2013 23:10

I wouldn't unless you had plans to move in future and were confident you'd have the income to support that. I find small/squashed accommodation stressful. Kids do too. I also stress about future finances and funding things like Uni for 3 kids.

On the other hand as humans we are fundamentally romantic and if we want something we'll probably go for it even if its not practical. Having babies is the ultimate in crossing ones fingers and hoping it will work out.

Sorry I'm sounding wistful and slightly maudlin. What I'm trying to say is that it's probably not practical but emotions usually overrule logic and the practical!

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QueenCadbury · 14/05/2013 23:23

I would think about ll the other things rather than just where you live. Everything else is so expensive with 3 especially holidays and we needed a proper carrier to fit 3 car seats in. I'm not saying I'd rather be without dc3 ut sometimes life would be earlier ith just 2(I.e. 1adult per child)

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TigerSwallowTail · 14/05/2013 23:54

Can you afford to move house?

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ComposHat · 15/05/2013 00:12

ig you can't afford you move house, I think you'd be daft to add another child to the mix. what about the quality of life of the two children you already have? is it fair to male then live in cramped conditions and go without tp satisfy your desire for a third child.

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BOF · 15/05/2013 00:14

Sometimes there are situations in which you should listen to your head rather than your heart. It's not a popular view on MN though.

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amazingmumof6 · 15/05/2013 00:19

Having babies is the ultimate in crossing ones fingers and hoping it will work out. it's probably not practical but emotions usually overrule logic and the practical!

that is how I feel. and I'm a very practical person!

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ComposHat · 15/05/2013 01:15

I am one of two children and my dad lost his job in the early 90s recession.

Another mouth to feed might well have taken the family under - I really wouldn't and I wonder how many posters who say 'go for it' have had to face hardship or have any understanding what it is like to live in cramped conditions (in the situation the op described it would be three to a room)

Given your current circumstances, it would be crazy to try for another child.