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AIBU to kill DH? Kill him good and proper...

(94 Posts)
MarmaladeTwatkins Sun 12-May-13 19:22:25

He is, apparently, blameless. Free of any wrongdoing. Never at fault. Here are two examples:

1. Last week, we went to Legoland for sunday and monday. On saturday night, I let our 8 month old kitten out at about 10pm then I went to bed. Before I went to bed, I said to DH "Don't forget the cat is outside." We don't have a flap installedyet, the cat meows to come in. Anyway, I wake up the next morning and realise soon enough that moggy isn't in. I say to DH "Did you let the cat in last night?" He says "You didn't tell me to" I did say he was outside. I wasn't telling you as an information service on the cat's whereabouts. It gets to half an hour before we're due to leave and I can't get the cat in. "This is your fault!" I hiss at DH. He says "Don't blame ME" hmm

2. Today, I put aload of DS's washing in, including school uniform. I ask DH to get it out and dry it on radiators whilst I take DS to a party. I get back and DH says "There was some tissue in the wash. It's all got stuck to DS's trousers" I say "Oh ok." assuming that he would have had the sense to wash them again. But no. They are drying on the upstairs radiators, with tissue paper all hardening on them. I need them for tomorrow. You think he'd have stuck them in again on a quick cycle? No. I say "Right... I'LL wash them again or else DS has no school trousers." He says "Don't blame ME" Well, actually, YOU took them out and saw that they were plastered in tissue. Use your fucking brain.

<stab stab stab>

diddl Sun 12-May-13 19:24:58

Does the cat have to come in at night?

Won't the tissue be easier to get off when it & the trousers are dry?

MarmaladeTwatkins Sun 12-May-13 19:26:55

Yes, the cat needs to come in at night. There are a few handy cats on our street and he'll get battered. Our street is the Cat Bronx.

Nah, the tissue leaves a "residue" all over whatever item of clothng it has attached to. A complete re-wash is the only way to get it all off...

ryanboy Sun 12-May-13 19:26:55

Leave the cat out it clearly doesn't want to come in
Let the trousers dry and brush off / sticky tape off the tissue

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots Sun 12-May-13 19:27:15

Diddl, I thought exactly the same!

Softlysoftly Sun 12-May-13 19:27:35

Possibly a bit u to kill him but it fits wine me right up.

The worst is "you didn't TELL me to do it"

Followed by very specific TELLING

Followed by "well I'll do it in my own time or not at all if you are going to go on about it"

ryanboy Sun 12-May-13 19:27:56

is n't the cat hungry when its been out all night

Beamae Sun 12-May-13 19:28:12

You should definitely kill him twice.

Passthesaltdear Sun 12-May-13 19:28:12

Chill out grin

Softlysoftly Sun 12-May-13 19:28:38

Winds me not fit wine confused

MarmaladeTwatkins Sun 12-May-13 19:29:54

Moggy Twatkins isn't really an outdoorsy kind of chap. He goes out for a shit then hides behind nextdoor's planter until we open up to let him in. Also, he got "lost" in nextdoor's garden once. I had to climb over the fence to rescue him. He has no cat sense at all. Honest!

NumTumDeDum Sun 12-May-13 19:30:41

Nah don't kill him. Make him pay. Wash a tissue with his stuff.

FreddieMisaGREATshag Sun 12-May-13 19:30:59

Kill him pure dead.

MarmaladeTwatkins Sun 12-May-13 19:32:54

Oh he said "Well it's YOUR fault. You didn't check the pockets!" I did actually. There was no tissue in there confused

But anyway, I maintain that as soon as he saw tissue debris, he should have had the brains to re-wash. But I suppose the Formula 1 wasn't going to watch itself, was it? wink

JustinBiebermakesmevom Sun 12-May-13 19:32:59

Wash a cat shit with his stuff.....

deleted203 Sun 12-May-13 19:33:25

I'm still impressed that he remembered to get the wash out and hang it on radiators, I'm afraid. My DH would have said, 'Aye, nae bother,' and it would have gone out his head the minute I walked out the door.

I'd have got back in to find it lurking wetly in the machine.

PoppyWearer Sun 12-May-13 19:34:12


Nyancat Sun 12-May-13 19:35:08

Kill him then come kill mine who has just wrecked my new black coast dress by sticking it in the washing machine and at the same time wrecked a new and vv lovely and expensive cream top by putting it into the same wash because it was 'cream not white' and therefore didn't go in with white clothes! Feeling very stabby!

JessKM Sun 12-May-13 19:35:17

numtum has the right idea! But make sure it's something vital like a work suit or uniform...and hide all his spare ones grin

Or leave him out in garden all night!? hmm

shelli135 Sun 12-May-13 19:37:50

You have to give full instructions, using initiative is far too much to ask.

'Can you take the bin out'

Takes bin out but doesn't replace bin liner angry

And I get 'well you didn't tell me to'


MarmaladeTwatkins Sun 12-May-13 19:38:18

Nyancat shock

Nyancat Sun 12-May-13 19:39:22

I know! I'll kill yours if you do mine, it'll be the perfect crime!

PoppyWearer Sun 12-May-13 19:40:12

Nyancat and the OP can make a pact to kill each others' DHs and then we just need MNHQ to delete this thread and you'll get away with it scot-free possibly. wink

MarmaladeTwatkins Sun 12-May-13 19:40:19

PM me your address.

PoppyWearer Sun 12-May-13 19:40:28


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