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AIBU?

in not wanting DS to watch tv aimed at adults?

42 replies

TheOrchardKeeper · 27/04/2013 06:45

DS is 2 and a half. I know it's each to their own really and there are no 'rules' but had a disagreement with DP about this as he believes they don't understand yet so it doesn't matter if they're watching something with a 15/18 age rating.

I can't seem to find any conclusive evidence online so wondered what everyone else generally goes by? A lot of material just says they understand the basic concept of things & cause/effect but it's very basic. It just feels really wrong if something quite violent/sexual is on.

I don't think I'm being PFB but maybe I'm just being totally precious and am happy to be told so

OP posts:

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TheOrchardKeeper · 27/04/2013 06:47

(It's less about the age rating, more about him seeing certain scenes iyswim)?

OP posts:

CheerfulYank · 27/04/2013 06:52

I stopped watching "adult" stuff around DS when he was about 2, so I don't think you're being precious. :)

TheOrchardKeeper · 27/04/2013 06:55

Thanks

It's hard to tell from inside the situation, when it's your kid.

He's just started laughing at/imitating a few things he's watched so I feel like now he's understanding more (and going through a bit of a hitting phase) I really don't want him seeing stuff he doesn't have to see.

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TheOrchardKeeper · 27/04/2013 06:56

I think the fact that one of DPs fave films was on (that is fairly violent) had more to do with his insistence that it's ok for now

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GoblinGranny · 27/04/2013 07:10

That's when my DVD collection increased, so I could continue to watch stuff I liked without company.

BrianButterfield · 27/04/2013 07:11

DS is nearly 2 and we don't like to watch adult stuff around him. Of course it's not all kid's TV but we restrict it to nonviolent/sweary stuff - he currently loves Star Trek! DH plays Xbox sometimes but doesn't play violent games with ds in the room either; if he wants to play a game he plays Mario on the Wii and lets ds watch and cheer him on!

TheOrchardKeeper · 27/04/2013 07:19

We do watch the odd non-kids tv thing (though don't watch much tv when he's awake really, as he's way too full of beans to stay still for very long)!

He goes to bed at 7 so it's not like we can never watch 'grown up' stuff. DP was trying to tell me that Game Of Thrones wasn't inappropriate for a 2 year old

I may show him this thread actually...

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Eastpoint · 27/04/2013 07:22

What about him being scared? Nightmares & being desensitised to violence? Surely you/DP can watch the inappropriate things after he's gone to bed? Or if DP has to watch a DVD during the day he can watch it on a computer with headphones.

Vizzage · 27/04/2013 07:24

I think you should protect them from violent or loud scenes from day 1, simple as that. Snogging scenes won't hurt them though, that's natural.

TheOrchardKeeper · 27/04/2013 07:26

I did say no & he's not watching anything inappropriate.

Just annoyed that DP doesn't think it's an issue yet & wanted to know if I was being precious.

He has had a night terror before & it took ages to calm the poor thing down so I don't fancy increasing the chances of them happening! (not sure why he had that one, just happened I suppose).

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TheOrchardKeeper · 27/04/2013 07:28

(I personally haven't let him see anything that isn't kid friendly since he started looking at the screen, so from quite young vizzage . I think I probably feel too strongly about the subject tbh, as I'm a little sensitive to anything too violent myself).

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StuntGirl · 27/04/2013 07:28

I wouldn't. At what age does your partner think it is appropriate to stop watching? 3, 4, 5? I'd do it now before they have any understanding of what's happening, not wait til after.

NaturalBaby · 27/04/2013 07:30

What age does your DP think it will be an issue? Your Ds may not be voicing an opinion on what he is watching but that doesn't mean it's all just washing over him without affecting him.
You are not being precious at all, your DH is being a bit thick.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 27/04/2013 07:46

You are totally not being unreasonable. I even limit what DS1 watches on CBBC in front of DS2 (2.5). DS2 has just started to mention things being "scary" so who knows what is going on in his little head that he can not verbalise? At what point do you decide he is being affected? I'd never let a toddler see anything violent in nature and I think your DH is BU.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 27/04/2013 07:47

Sorry, DP

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs · 27/04/2013 08:02

I mostly watch documentaries. Apart from children's channels. I watch what I want in the evening. I don't think it's right that if you would decide not to allow a 7yo to watch something 12 rated, then why would you let a 2yo watch something 15/18 rated?!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 27/04/2013 08:18

I wouldn't allow either of mine to watch adult tv from birth. I know anewborn doesn't understand...but the sound effects etc could affect them in a negative way in my opinion. 2 is too old to watch tv meant for adults.

TheOrchardKeeper · 27/04/2013 08:19

It's the whole 'oh they don't understand' rubbish that annoyes me. He did pull that line but I said that DS laughs at/imitates/talks about some of what he watches so of course he understands.

I'm not sure how much thought he's actually put into it tbh. I spend more time with DS in the day so have quite a good idea of what he understands...even if he can't articulate it.

I'm not risking it anyway

Just worried I might be being OTT with it. I just don't want him to be completely desensitized before he's even a teenager!

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NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 27/04/2013 08:22

Also....a child in DDs nursery used to swear and was violent...he'd quote lines from films that no 3 year old should be exposed to.

RubyOnRails · 27/04/2013 08:28

I stopped letting my two year old watch when he asked why Don Draper was " angry looking at that lady". We dont even like arguing in front of our kids so we don't get to watch much beyond period drama the news etc. I'd never let him see eastenders for example.

OrangeFootedScrubfowl · 27/04/2013 08:31

Yanbu!

IsItMeOr · 27/04/2013 08:32

Eh, has your DP not met his 2.5yo? Unless my DS was exceptionally advanced (which I sincerely doubt), then it was completely obvious that he was trying to understand everything that was going on.

Game of Thrones is not even marginal. I watch it when 4yo DS is asleep, with the door shut so that there's no chance of his waking up, coming downstairs and seeing something inappropriate without us hearing him.

FWIW we've found a couple of things helpful to bear in mind. First that U classification means suitable from 4+ and PG rough guide is 7+. BBFC don't recommend that you take under 4s to the cinema because the experience is too overwhelming for them.

There's good advice on many, many films at Commensensemedia.org. Helpful for us old gimmers who can't remember the more disturbing scenes in some of the films I loved watching as a child.

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MsVestibule · 27/04/2013 08:32

From the moment they were old enough to focus in a screen, there is no way I would have let my DCs watch anything age inappropriate. (In fact, I wouldn't let DC1 watch TV at all, but when DC2 was born 20 months later, I had to wean DC1 on to it, so I could feed DC2 in peace!)

They take in everything at 2, and it's at an age where their brains are still becoming hard wired (sorry, no links, just read it somewhere) so I absolutely would not let them watch anything violent or overtly sexual.

YANBU, and your DP definitely is.

edwardsmum11 · 27/04/2013 09:10

My son is nineteenmonths and iam careful about what he sees.

IsItMeOr · 27/04/2013 09:43

Agree with MsVestibule re taking care as soon as they can focus on a screen - for DS that was probably around 4-6months.

Also, most recent research suggests that brains are much more "plastic" than previously thought, so care should be taken throughout pre-teen years.

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