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To walk out and 'hide' at my mums because of arguement with DH?

(79 Posts)
SaneAusten Sat 09-Feb-13 14:10:53

DH travels regularly for work. Has early flight tmr so was going to go and stay at a hotel near the airport tonight so he doesn't have to get up at a mad hour to make the flight. He checked I was ok with that which was great. I was fine. Plan was that he left at 5pm today for the hotel.

He's a bit unwell and has been coughing all night. Said this morning he hadn't slept all morning so I took children downstairs. No problem with that.

He wakes at midday and comes down and says he is popping down to tesco. I asked if he could go after the children had been put down for middday nap so he can help me a bit I.e nappy change etc. He started getting stressed saying he still had to pack. So at this point I annoyed and say you have 5 hours left and what is the issue with going just half hour/hour later. At which point he walks away with a dissmissive "you always do this. Grow up!".

I became really mad and couldn't even speak so I just walkd out (perhaps proving how immature I am?). Now at my mums and wondering why I just flounced and how unreasonable I was? I know I should have talked to him as that would have been best way to handle and I know his work pays for everything as I'm a sahm. But seems every time he has a trip its all abt how important it is and I have to work around it. Perhaps I'm just tired as haven't had a lie-in for weeks! Sorry this is so long. smile Also, my DH isn't normally horrible. In fact a quiet spoken gentle guy. Just gets stressed about work related stuff and forgets that I may be stressed too.

SaneAusten Mon 11-Feb-13 22:21:38

Yes, it makes me feel really sad and also sometimes angry and sometimes I just figured this is normal (because it is if i compare to my parents marriage). He is rather a quiet man so finds the children too much sometimes but this makes me feel alone in this set up. Don't get me wrong he does do some cuddles and playtime with them but there's a limit to it before it gets too much as he is not used to it.

When he is working all week and then leaving the house on a Saturday for two weeks and then perhaps coming back for a week and then back off again it is really hard to have conversations like this let alone try and install a new method of parenting so I've just worked round what I could. BUT reactions on this thread and my own ridiculous melt down on Saturday show that this is unacceptable so I need to get us both working on this ASAP.

Parenthood is definitely what you make it. That's exactly it. Atm things are not good and I don't know what I've been playing at to let it get like this but something has got to give!

YouOldSlag Tue 12-Feb-13 16:51:42

You were not ridiculous. lots of people on here can understand why you felt that way! Good luck sorting things out. There is lots of support here for you thanks

FadBook Tue 12-Feb-13 20:10:08

Ditto YouoldSlag thanks

No judgement at all here and you haven't let anyone down or done "wrong", sometimes you just need impartial people to tell you what they see from the outside and it kind of 'kick starts' your little mojo to realise what was happening needs to change!

Please keep us updated. Hope this week is going well so far without DH there.

sherazade Tue 12-Feb-13 20:18:16

Dh regularly works away too. I could have written your post and I feel your angst. Having to hold it together before he flies out , there's always extra stress in the air.

However, I wouldn't accept him going to a hotel practically a day before! Seems uncalled for. Is he very touchy about his sleep? I know that I am!

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