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For someone to put their baby in a car seat at a baby group?

(63 Posts)
Geekster Mon 28-Jan-13 13:03:33

Hi we recently moved house and I took my DD to a new baby group today. It was like being back at school, people were told to stop talking it was very regimented and this poor lady with a very young baby but him in his car seat just for the last 10mims as it was the only way to sooth him at the time, only to be told it wasn't allowed! She took him out, felt sorry for her as why should she and he was only tiny. I said to her put him back in if you want to I'll stick up for you (as did several others). If it was me I would have told them were to shove it, but as a new Mum like this lady I wouldn't have had the confidence to do it when my DD was that small. I would now and I won't be going back there again.

MoodyDidIt Tue 29-Jan-13 16:39:18

sure start centre like you to sit on the floor....

jeez hmm

Pobblewhohasnotoes Tue 29-Jan-13 15:15:46

Babies don't like tummy time to start with, ours didn't. You just turn them back over and try again the next day. But people get put off because they cry.

Honeytea, babies should only spend two hours at a time in a car seat because of the risks mentioned. As a nurse myself I can't believe someone would advise that, it's not safe. You can tilt the mattress using towels. smile

nailak Tue 29-Jan-13 14:50:11

madmum is not the centres fault, is the way they are funded.

blackeyedsusan Tue 29-Jan-13 13:24:57

sure start centre like you to sit on the floor....

I would like to see them insist... grin i think I would take a blanket to sit on... because at the end I would have to remain sitting on it, possibly lie as I would be physically incapable of getting up again as I sort of seize up, and I could have done with a nice long sleep to be honest... oh to lie and laugh a them working out how to move me. (think beached whale)

OneSliceOfSwissCheese Tue 29-Jan-13 12:16:05

Geekster was this the baby movers session in Carterton?

ubik Tue 29-Jan-13 12:11:07

Re: 'tummy time'

I had three children and they all hated being on their fronts do we're always on their backs until they could naturally roll over. None had flat heads. Dd2 is an acrobatic gymnast.

Madmum24 Tue 29-Jan-13 09:34:21

Sure Start is an initiative to hopefully prevent anti-social behaviour down the line.

I was told we weren't allowed to attend as we didn't fall under the deprivation catergory! I was totally put off though when I saw the valentine's day decorations in the toddlers room; "Shaznay 4 Brooklyn 4eva" hearts with the kids names in them, might reduce crime long term but what about teen pregnancies! Tackeeeeeeeeeeee

honeytea Tue 29-Jan-13 03:43:26

They told me to keep him in the car seat to sleep when we arrived at the hospital, he had come in an ambulance in his car seat. They had one of those fish bowl baby cots which was angled but ds is very big and wiggly and just ended up at the bottom of the cot. He is big 13 pounds so maybe that helped. We never left him to sleep in the car seat as we held him all the time, there was a bed for me and a bed for my dp and we had a private room so we did sleeping shifts so we could hold him upright. One night I slept with him in bed with me but again we had sliding down the bed problem.

Birdsgottafly Tue 29-Jan-13 01:16:47

Children's Centre have rooms that are used for contact, or SW meetings, it brings in income.

An intervention for a child on a CIN plan, is to attend groups, the same for CP and then if it moves to foster care, there is consistancy.

Most of the workers in the Children's Centre didn't fully understand what the Family Support Workers, did.

Depending on who is attending the CC, photos are not allowed.

We have had cases of families/friends joining the CC, to gain access to a foster child and trying to take sneeky photos.

nailak Tue 29-Jan-13 00:53:22

there are 2 ssc's in my area one lets you take photos....

anothershittynickname Mon 28-Jan-13 23:42:58

Yes nailak the issue is with photos - however, I signed a form agreeing to not take any and therefore expect to be treated as a grown up with regards to the use of my phone. (The arseyness in my post is directed a surestart, not you). I have and will not return to a children's centre for these reasons!

nailak Mon 28-Jan-13 23:39:59

my sure start is great.

they also have a no mobile policy, but if it is an emergency they will watch your kids while you go out of the room to reception.

I think the issues is about taking photos and privacy, at our sure start if you want a photo they will take it for you and print it out for you.

DeDevilTail Mon 28-Jan-13 23:36:29

I'm also surprised at the advice to allow baby with RSV to sleep in a car seat. I was warned in no uncertain terms when buying my car seat that baby shouldn't be in it for periods of more than about 90mins as the position means that the baby's lungs cannot fully expand, affecting their oxygen levels. It therefore seems strange that a healthcare professional would advise it.

When my baby had RSV (6 weeks ago), we raised her mattress at one end.

libelulle Mon 28-Jan-13 23:20:09

Honeytea, I'd also advise caution re that sleeping in car seat because of RSV. My DS was very prem and one of the tests we had to undergo before being allowed home was the 'car seat test', involving checking that the baby could maintain their oxygen saturations while in the car seat. First time round (admittedly he only weighed just over 3lb at the time) he was grabbed out after about 20 seconds after his sats started plunging down into the 60s. We needed a very complicated (and no doubt not great in terms of the safety of the car seat!) arrangement of blankets underneath him before he could maintain a reasonable airway while in the seat. Car seats put small babies in a position where they find it very difficult to breathe properly, hence the advice about not leaving them in it for too long.

With a big healthy baby, it's not a big problem - hence interfering old surestart trouts in case of the OP. But keeping a baby with RSV in a car seat all night seems a very seriously dubious suggestion.

anothershittynickname Mon 28-Jan-13 22:56:35

I've found the best playgroups for minding their own business encouraging free play are church run ones.

I was once "told off" for using my mobile at a children's center. I was transferring money to DD1 who was stranded. I said no but would've rather said fuck off you old trout I'm not a child

gwenniebee Mon 28-Jan-13 21:52:30

That sounds really weird - poor you and that poor other mum!

Just wanted to stick up for my sure start centre though - it's great, and the one in the next town over is too smile

Geekster Mon 28-Jan-13 21:42:04

The sure start centre were we used to live was brilliant there were lots of good groups where you were encouraged to talk to other parents while letting your children play and interact with other children and adults, the staff couldn't have been nicer. The we went to this one today. Needless to say we won't be going again. We have got some other groups to try. Just felt so sorry for that new Mum.

apostropheuse Mon 28-Jan-13 21:35:18

I have been advised to keep my ds in a car seat to sleep at night times and to only put him down in his car seat at day times rather than being put down flat on his back because he is recovering from rs virus.

Honeytea, were you told this by a health care professional? I've been led to believe this can be extremely dangerous. I know it's not the same scenario, but my granddaughter had to undertake a test to see if it was safe for her to leave hospital to go home in a car seat for a thirty minute journey. She had certainly been born at 35/36 weeks, weighing 2lb 3oz, but was being discharged at term (still only 3lb 7oz mind you). The staff in the unit said it can compromise their breathing.

I know that when my son was recovering from a collapsed lung and has asthma I was told to elevate the mattress by putting in folded towels/blankets etc underneath his mattress.

It just seems very strange advice to be told to do this with the carseat - mind you, maybe advice has changed in the last five years.

libelulle Mon 28-Jan-13 21:13:49

I knew it'd be surestart! Ours is ok on the whole, but a friend did once get told off for allowing her 9 month old to crawl off during the singing. When we queried thia we were told it was because they needed to learn to sit still on parents laps and concentrate. At 9 months old ffs!

candr Mon 28-Jan-13 21:08:06

I think it is a shame that the staff sound quite rude there but maybe it is not a sit and chat group.
I have to say we have a brill Surestart here and the staff are truly lovely and do loads of different tyes of sessions for all ages. We did find it annoying during Newbies when they brought in people to do singing as we felt we couldn't chat but was good for parents that may need encouragement in interacting with their LO's.
Maybe you and this other mum could search for a better group together?

KatyTheCleaningLady Mon 28-Jan-13 19:31:27

This thread makes me feel better. I've been to a couple of weird "Why Aren't You playing With Your Kid?" groups and I always felt like maybe there was something wrong with me. Like I'm a bad mum because I want to take my kid somewhere with toys and maybe I can meet people.

TandB Mon 28-Jan-13 18:24:05

It sounds a bit crap, but I'd hazard a guess that the staff have been told to enforce a ban on babies in car seats during the session because they've had people coming along to drink tea and chat and leaving their babies strapped into carseats and crying for the whole session.

There should ideally be some common sense used, but it can be easier to enforce a blanket ban rather than judging each situation as it comes.

M0naLisa Mon 28-Jan-13 18:22:49

I've never been to a weird baby group.

Although the new one I go to is lovely. The guy who runs it is a recovering crack addict. But you woulnt know it. He and his wife are lovely

M0naLisa Mon 28-Jan-13 18:20:22

I'd have walked out

CruCru Mon 28-Jan-13 18:17:46

My nanny took DS to one where she was told it was for parents only (started a separate thread on this). They do have some funny rules (almost designed to put people attending off).

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