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To not have a first birthday party for DD?

(24 Posts)
DefinitelyNotMe Sat 19-Jan-13 10:31:02

DD (DC1) will be 1 next month. Her birthday is on a weekday. I work full time, as does DP. My view is, she is too little to understand what a birthday is, and a party won't mean anything to her. I will be at work on the day itself, and by the time I get home there's only an hour before bed, so that's out. We could do something on the day, but extended family are a long way away and we don't have that many friends in the area.

I was fine with it all, but now I'm starting to receive invites from NCT friends I'm getting worried. She's get presents and cards, but we weren't going to do anything else - is she missing out?! Will I regret in years to come that I didn't give my daughter a first birthday party?!

WorraLiberty Sat 19-Jan-13 10:33:53

None of my kids had birthday parties when they were babies, I mean what's the point?

I've also never bothered going to a baby's party.

HollyBerryBush Sat 19-Jan-13 10:34:13

I wouldn't bother but I'm odd like that grin.

I even used to move the childrens birthdays to more convenient days, which worked fine until they went to school and knew what a birthday is grin

janey68 Sat 19-Jan-13 10:36:01

I would have a special cake With a candle to cut with the 3 of you. It's nice to have something to mark the occasion. And take photos. But other than that- you're absolutely right, a one yr old is not going to be remotely fussed about a party- in fact often at that age its just overwhelming

DefinitelyNotMe Sat 19-Jan-13 10:37:57

Phew, not just me then :D

I do feel it's more about the parents than the DC, but we haven't had her christened as we're not religious, and never got round to a naming ceremony and I don't want her to feel she missed out when she's older confused

DefinitelyNotMe Sat 19-Jan-13 10:52:38

Good idea re: cake and photos janey smile

PrettyKitty1986 Sat 19-Jan-13 11:00:15

It's personal choice but I've always done a 'party' even for the first birthday. There were only adults there as we have no other children in the family, but it's nice to mark the occasion. It was just some balloons and banners, a cake and mini buffet at tea time and a game of pass the parcel (all adults plus ds1 sitting on the floor and winning plastic tat from the pound shop but actually LOADS of fun lol). I disagree that it doesn't matter because they don't know...both ds's had loads of fun at their first parties regardless of if they knew what the fuss was about. I couldn't let the day go unmarked personally.

breatheslowly Sat 19-Jan-13 11:02:08

Our NCT friends mostly had 1st birthday parties, but the birthdays are all clustered together, so took up part of every weekend for a month and a half. I think people didn't mind us not having one as it was one less to go to. We had a very small family gathering so that we had cake and photos.

Shelly32 Sat 19-Jan-13 11:02:35

I didn't for my girls' 1st or 2nd birthdays. We had cake and presents but didn't have a proper party until their 3rd birthday (this Dec) where we had 6 or 7 friends over at what could be described as more of a drop in party from 12-4. smile

NoBloodyMyrrh Sat 19-Jan-13 11:09:02

I couldn't not mark the day personally, I've got 3 DC and work full time, I've always had their birthdays off work, even now the oldest is at school. DC3 is 1 in 2 weeks and he's having a big party with every child we know going but I happily acknowledge it is all for my benefit as my last baby turns 1 hmm

I think even if you just have a cake and sing happy birthday and take pics you'll want something to acknowledge the day in years to come.

eggs11 Sat 19-Jan-13 11:11:36

I did for my DS's first in august. Mainly for us though really. Again, all baby groups friends did it and we didn't have a weekend free between june and september! Don't think i'll bother with a 2nd one though!

EnglishGirlApproximately Sat 19-Jan-13 11:12:08

I'm not having one for ds (he'll be one in 8 weeks), we're just having gps for afternoon tea on the Sunday nearest to his birthday so we can have a cake and photos with them. I've been to parties for one year olds and while I'm sure the parents have a great time I find them deathly boring as a guest.

eggs11 Sat 19-Jan-13 11:12:21

I think it was easier in summer because it was so hot we just had a buffet/bbq and sat in the garden with the babies. Rather than trying to squish everyone in your house/hire somewhere that you ahve to do this time of year.

DefinitelyNotMe Sat 19-Jan-13 11:18:27

We will definitely do something as the three of us, just not anything more than that and only then if DP gets home from work early.

Might suggest to my sister that we go to hers the weekend after, GPs are both 3 hours drive away (in opposite directions!) and the house is too messy for them to come here sad

StuntGirl Sat 19-Jan-13 11:21:22

I would have a cake and some balloons so I could get a picture but that's it.

Blending Sat 19-Jan-13 11:47:36

No not alone. We just had a meal with my parents and brought the cake out so we could take photos- none of us even like Birthday cake!

This year her 2nd I did a roast for 12 of the family on the Sunday nearest, I also sent a cake into nursery along with a camera.

To be honest we all enjoyed the roast more than a party, she got a real fuss made and blew out the candles on her birthday cake.

breatheslowly Sat 19-Jan-13 12:51:15

If your DD is in a nursery or at a CM then they might be happy for you to take a cake in there. DD's nursery is happy to have a cake (bought or homemade) to share at snack time and they sing happy birthday. This means the day is marked in some way.

elliejjtiny Sat 19-Jan-13 13:16:15

YANBU. When DS1 was 1 I had PND and thought that if we did something big or if anyone said something like "he's a toddler now, not a baby" I'd probably cry. So DH took the day off work, we went to a soft play place, just the 3 of us and then we came home and had cake. For DS3's 2nd birthday last week we just had the PIL's round for lunch, bought "party food" from tesco and had cake.

CatsRule Sat 19-Jan-13 13:23:02

My ds is 1 in March and we are not having a party despite pressure from some family.

Christmas was overwhelming for him...he loved the wrapping paper! Some peoe only have one setting around him...loud and hyper! He likes it for half a minute!

We are planning on avoiding the whole party situation by having a day out just the three of us and have lunch/dinner somewhere. I may make a wee cake and will take photos. That will be more special to us and he won't know.


DefinitelyNotMe Sat 19-Jan-13 15:00:52

Good idea about the nursery, will check with them on Monday. I will get a cake for home too.

Bananapickle Sat 19-Jan-13 15:10:57

We just had my parents, my siblings and my DD's Godparents over for cupcakes and tea so that they could all see our DD open the presents. Everyone is local and it was just nice to mark it with something but I wont be doing a kids party until she's 3, maybe even 4, see how I feel at the time.
However, YANBU, it can turn into a lot of effort for not a lot of reason!

CMOTDibbler Sat 19-Jan-13 15:20:16

We had a cake and went out for lunch at the weekend for ds's 1st bday. No family close enough to do a family thing, and ds didn't know the difference. From 2 onwards we did do a party, but mostly to meet parents from nursery, and none of our families have ever been to a party and ds is 6 now.

noviceoftheday Sat 19-Jan-13 15:27:42

No party for either first or second birthdays. Both dh and I have taken the day off to spend with the dc(s) and done cake with blowing out candles at tea time.

greenpostit Sat 19-Jan-13 15:34:44

I didn't for my dd's 1st bday - no point unless you want to or it will be a nice family/friends gathering. Do it when she really wants a party - probably age 4.

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