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DH smacked his friends wifes bum.

(120 Posts)
Jelly15 Sun 09-Dec-12 17:56:19

We were in a crowded pub last night and his friends wife pushed passed him on her way to the loo, he then smacked her firmly on her bum. I saw this and I was sitting a few tables away. I was fuming and I didn't want to make a scene and gave him a filthy look. Half an hour later we left.

I told him (shouted) I was shocked and upset. He apololgised but thinks I am over reacting. I told him it was completely inappropriate behaviour for a married man and I would have been upset if a male friend did that to me too. He replied, " It's only J for heavens sake."

I am sure as anyone can be that he wouldn't cheat on me but I think that flirty behaviour is wrong and I am upsest. Do you think I am being unreasonable about it?

ChocHobNob Sun 09-Dec-12 18:22:23

I wouldn't be very happy if my husband smacked another woman on the backside. But we do smack each other on the backside a lot though and it is flirty behaviour for us, which is why I wouldn't like him to do it to other women. I don't see why it is sexist to smack your own partner on the bottom playfully though confused

I would also not be happy if someone else smacked me on the backside.

thebody Sun 09-Dec-12 18:24:16

Totally depends on the dynamics if the friendship/relationship.

If it bothered you then it does so your dh should respect that.

It personally wouldn't bother me with certain male friends.

DumSpiroSperHoHoHo Sun 09-Dec-12 18:26:43

I'd think DH was being a bit of a prat, but I wouldn't lose any sleep over it personally.

HildaOgden Sun 09-Dec-12 18:30:04

I wouldn't see that as flirtatious,I'd see it as him being an embarrassing dickhead,myself.But that's just me smile.

What did she think about it?

AngryBeaver Sun 09-Dec-12 18:35:07

sleighbells, I think "physically chastised" is a bit extreme!
Totally depends on the dynamic/relationship of all involved.
I have known my best friends dh since we were about 14. He often slaps my bum, to which I reply "oi!" or somesuch. It's just a joke.
nce when we were all at a wedding, he walked past me and dh, came back, dipped me and gave me a 5 second kiss.
I think that was a bit much, and made me feel a bit uncomfortable,plus dh wasn't pleased! But he had had a few, and he was enjoying the wedding and is a bit of an extrovert.
Dh doesn't have any close female friends though, and if he did it to my bf (he never would) she would be unamused.
Can't imagine him doing it to anyone actually.

BelaLugosisShed Sun 09-Dec-12 18:44:40

If any man other than my husband touched me anywhere, let alone my arse, , they would be on the floor after a swift knee to the balls, it's completely innapropriate and if my husband smacked any woman but me on the arse, he wouldn't be my husband much longer!

nochipsthanks Sun 09-Dec-12 18:46:52

Seriously, are we in a Carry on movie? Who the fuck thinks it is appropriate to physically smack someone on the ass who is not their partner? Really?

And people are defending this?


Hobbitation Sun 09-Dec-12 18:52:14

Sounds very Abigail's Party. Bleurgh.

VoiceofUnreason Sun 09-Dec-12 18:53:53

Some years ago a friend of mine died (aged 35) suddenly. His wife, who was a closer friend of mine, asked me to speak at the funeral. At the wake at a hotel immediately afterwards I was talking to the vicar when I felt someone pinch my bum. It was my friend. My partner didn't mind. I think she just needed to do something, anything, to escape the pain and just do something silly.

Point being, women do the same things. It doesn't necessarily mean anything but if a partner is uncomfortable, then their feelings need to be considered. However, I wouldn't launch straight into a slanging match about it. Just tell them you don't like it. Slanging match if they then ignore you.

usualsocksprezzie Sun 09-Dec-12 18:54:06

I would think he was a twat.

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Sun 09-Dec-12 18:54:16

It would totally depend on who where, why and what. a lot of variables, It's not something my current DP would ever do though.

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Sun 09-Dec-12 18:55:14

Oh yes voiceofunreason I do it to my girl friends!

ladyfirenze Sun 09-Dec-12 18:55:55

ghost ship There are better ways to communicate. Fuck demure, I can be furious without raising my voice...

OrangeLily Sun 09-Dec-12 18:56:43

Wouldn't bother me but it would probably be me doing the smacking and inappropriate type touching of DH's pals

Bigwuss Sun 09-Dec-12 19:00:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Overreactionoftheweek Sun 09-Dec-12 19:02:04

I've done this to a male friend completely without thinking in front of his gf blush

Dh and I were going through a stage of smacking each other on the arse as we passed each other, so I did it to my friend as he arrived for dinner, oops.

We were all a bit surprised and embarrassed by it!

I would be pissed off if dh did it cos he's just not a flirty man...luckily he realised I had an absent moment and wasn't really trying to cop a feel, ha. I've been invited to the couple's wedding so they obviously weren't that bothered either

thebody Sun 09-Dec-12 19:02:23

Noch, Really depends on the situation and dynamics of the relationship.

catgirl1976geesealaying Sun 09-Dec-12 19:04:21

I have both male and female friends whose bottoms I am free to slap / pinch / squoosh and vice versa

It's all about the relationship

squeakytoy Sun 09-Dec-12 19:05:21

Wouldnt bother me at all if it were one of my mates.. we would all do it to each other and not think twice about it. If it were a grope that would be different though.

A playful slap on the arse is something that all of us do to each other when we are out and squeezing past to get to our seat.

If someone I didnt know did it to me, then I would be offended.

HELPMyPooIsStuck Sun 09-Dec-12 19:06:17

Sort of thing I do to my friends, I can't resist a bent over arse blush

It is purely messing around tho. << hides gimp mask and nipple clamps >>

BigShinyBaubles Sun 09-Dec-12 19:07:10

Would not bother me in the slightest. I personally think you overreacted.

WinkyWinkola Sun 09-Dec-12 19:07:23

I wouldn't be comfortable with it as its very flirty and the other woman might have hated it too.

Mind you, I was at a kids b'day party today and one of the mothers there, who I barely know, pinched my rump as I was leaning over pouring juice. I squeaked and didn't really know what to say. blush

piglettsmummy Sun 09-Dec-12 19:09:57

I'd have hated that my ex was a massive flirt and on our part it was a major reason why we split up I hated it he almost put himself out there. I know that's not what ur dh is doing but I still wouldn't be happy and think a tellin off was going easy on him!!hmm

scottishmummy Sun 09-Dec-12 19:23:43

do you think they're having it off?
is it the smack or do you think it indicative of something else
is your dh like thus to all women or just her

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Dec-12 19:28:43

What if it were another part of the body? She pushed in and in retaliation he slapped her on her arm or back? I'd thoughtbtjat would be agresdivevteat's behaviour and would feel assaulted. Yes, even by a friend. I think the arse us a bit of avred herring. For me it's the context of the slap.

I used to mock about with friends like this, which was a joke. I did enjoy it though... blush

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