Especially now it's near Christmas. I do enjoy buying her the occasional treat from the pound shop or some sweets but at the moment every time we go out she wants me to buy her something. She's alwsys asking if I have bought her a present and it is so wearing. Of course I normally say no but sometimes I cave in. We found a good toy in the charity shop for £3.00 for example and I bought her that. Now it's Christmas her list is longer than my arm and there is no way she is getting everything on the list but if she sees something she likes she wants to write it down.
Another thing is that whenever we go shopping in the nearest big town with my dad he buys her something from the Disney shop. She now expects it. She kicks off if we don't go to the Disney shop. I told him today that we have to stop doing it. It is only a small something but still it is tat that she dosn't need. I just want her to apprechiate presents rather than expecting them.
AIBU?
To ask how to discourage my daughter's rampant materialism?
superstarheartbreaker · 02/12/2012 18:22
She's only 4 still time to improve her behavior she's hardly a lost cause 
I's sit her down and talk about children who have less than her or nothing, I did this with Dd, and told her it's time to clean out the toy box and toy shelves to donate to the charity shops toys that are in good nick that she no longer played with, had outgrown, or just didn't want. We put together a couple of huge boxes and it put a big dent in the collection. We've made this something we try and do a couple of times a year. I also got her to pick out a new toy at the shop for the local toy drive, and talked about how the toys will be given out to families who are having a hard time buying food let alone Christmas toys. Now she's 7 she has become much more generous. When she does start with wanting at the shops, I remind her to put it on her Christmas list. She is aloud to put absolutely anything on it, and knows that Santa doesn't bring her everything she wants, just some toys she would like if she's lucky and some that he thinks she might like.
No ideas as such but I sympathise.
My DD is nearly 4 and her dad's side of the family are very materialistic and always go over the top.
For example, her Granny doesn't really have a relationship with DD because she doesn't make an effort (even when she's here) so what she does is ring up lots before she's due to see her and go on and on about the presents she's bought DD.
It got to the point where DD was constantly asking to go and get presents at Granny's. 
. Like you said it was mostly useless plastic tat that I'd end up sweeping into the bin broken etc in a couple of weeks/months.
I've banned the talking about presents now and talk about seeing granny instead and have said only one small thing/chocolate as she used to feed her twice the adult daily allowance of chocolate plus cakes and no 'proper' food every visit too (her son is obese, surprise, surprise) and we'd get the same whinging about chocolate for days afterwards.
I've banned watching channels with adverts in the morning (only cbeebies allowed) and made DD participate in a toy cull before Christmas this year explaining that some children have nothing.
I also try not to use 'taking things away' as a discipline as I think that just reinforces the 'importance' of things.
Aside from all that, I do remember writing down very long Christmas lists I clouding the Argos catalogue page/number every year but never got those things and looking back at my school diary, aged about 7 my favourite present was a 'Make mosaics' book! I'm not materialistic in the slightest now. :)
I'm 
at saying spoilt brat.
Seriously if you are comparing a 4 yo's behaviour with your own memories of gifts, then you need to ask your mother.
We were poor growing up and I remember always being grateful for the few presents we got. But when my dd (4yo at the time) had a melt down in the supermarket because she wanted a £20 barbie, my mother told me I was the same.
My dd is now almost 6 and is beginning to understand she doesn't need everything. She understands she gets treats from grandparents but if she acts like a spoilt or ungrateful brat she'll get nothing.
You just need to put your principles in place and stick to them, it gets easier and they do learn if you keep telling them. I'm just entering this massive consumer phase with ds but he seems to be much more accepting of it. I guess you have a strong willed daughter like mine.
It is hard - but she is only four so can easily learn new habits and realise she can't have everything she wants. One other thing to think about is perhaps showing her to find pleasure in the things money can't buy. Show her the full moon, a sky full of stars, talk about a blue sky, sunny day or whatever else is free. Something/anything she can get small pleasures from without having bought them - does that make sense 
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My DS, 3.5 yrs, is also like this.
But he knows he only can have a toy occasionally, and then it's usually a 50p battered up matchbox car from the charity shop which he's thrilled by!
But I think it's natural that children at this age want everything and want it as soon as they see it. They are by nature impulsive and oblivious to the concept of cost [hence equal delight at charity shop bargain and expensive Hamley's toy].
It is up to us as parents to manage expectations and introduce the concept of 'treats' vs 'everyday essentials'. Easier said than done though I know.
My Ds also has a Christmas list [in his head] which includes a bicycle, a toy car, a fire engine, anything 'Fireman Sam'...
But I have told him that Father Christmas has only limited space in his sleigh and hence DS has to narrow down his present options. Or it makes too much work for the reindeer as the sleigh gets too heavy...
So far he has seemed to accept this explanation
Long may it last!
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