My PIL and aged DM came to lunch yesterday - their average age 80. Conversation turned to the BBC, JS, Dave Lee Travis etc, and all 3 oldies were of the opinion that 'in their day' young women were well able to fend off lecherous men, and "everyone knew who was NSIT" (Not Safe In a Taxi) and why couldn't the girls and women 'involved' in the current allegations just have hit back/kneed their attacker in the balls/left to get another job as appropriate. (I did point out of course that many of them were still schoolgirls, below the age of consent, young boys, in residential care, possibly already damaged etc etc).
DD1, 16, and DD2, 13 put up a very spirited defence about how this was an abuse of power, not necessarily about sexuality, and that no girl/young woman/older woman should have to accept any kind of attention they don't want. (I was very proud of them both).
MIL came out with a load of pants about some men just being the cuddly type, and she couldn't understand why everything had taken so long to come out, as if time passed means it wasnt important.
DM admitted that times have changed, and that what was 'ok' in their day is not acceptable now, but I think even she still thinks there is an element of 'men being men'... although as an Irish catholic, she holds a special place in hell for paedophile priests/Magdalene laundries etc, so I guess she is kind of on the right path.
DH and I asked all 3 of them why they thought it would be acceptable for their grand daughters to think this kind of behaviour was the norm, and MIL took great offence and said that girls should know how to fend off unwanted behaviour and that it was a sign of weakness not to be able to do so.
So I guess I am not quite sure what my AIBU question is, but the whole conversation really annoyed me, and I think it is to do with the fact that MIL in particular seems to think it's all a bit of a storm in a teacup...
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AIBU?
to think that some older people dont 'get' why JS et al is so important?
28 replies
boschy · 19/11/2012 14:11
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