WIBU to give them beans on toast next time?

[WindyandWet]

Background: I do most of the cooking in the flat. I enjoy it, and it's cheaper to cook for 2 than for the pair of us to cook separately. He likes a proper sit-down meal on a Sunday, so I'll often do a roast or something. He was away this weekend with a friend and they weren't getting back til latish last night. Friend lives in halls and would have been too late for dinner, so my flatmate said this friend would be at ours for dinner. I have no problem with that, and tell flatmate what's in the freezer. He approves, and asks if I'll cook a specific recipe, which I agree to. All's ok so far.

I text my flatmate yesterday to ask what time he wants dinner, and get told 7, so I assume they'll be back half 6 or so, and organise cooking so it's all done on time. I had to go and get a vital ingredient Saturday, so that was an hour out of my day, then preparing the food took a couple of hours yesterday. Still ok. I get a text at 5 saying they're on their way. Knowing where they are I'm expecting them at half 6 or so. I get the meat out of the pan at half 6 to cool slightly, so I can put the final touches to it and put it in the oven at quarter to for ten minutes.

The 2 selfish idiots didn't turn up til half past 7. They had been to the pub on the way back. I was very unimpressed, considering how much work I'd put into dinner. The veg was burnt and the meat not far off. And I didn't even get a thank you from them.

Next time they go away together WIBU to present them on their return with a loaf of bread, a can of beans and tell them if they want dinner they can do it themselves?

[skippy84]

They were only 30 minutes late in fairness but yes if it stresses you out that much you shouldn't bother

[WelshMaenad]

Yes, you would be very unreasonable.

They don't need 'presenting' with anything, make them find the constituent parts of their own dinner, and YOU go to the pub.

[JazzAnnNonMouse]

Yanbu

[DawnOfTheDee]

Being late is rude and I do dislike it but they were only half an hour late.

They said they'll be back at 7 so you timed your dish so it'd be ready at 7. I find that a bit odd. If they said they'd be back at 7 I'd probably add on half an hour to that for them to get in, take their coats off, have a seat & a drink, etc rather than have the food on their plates the second they get in.

[HecateLarpo]

wind the bobbin up? I don't get it? [baffled]

When he's not actually in, just cook for yourself. Then he can get back when he pleases and make himself something.

You're flatmates yet you read as though you're an old married couple

[WorraLiberty]

You should have dished it up about 7.15 and left it on the table.

[YellowDinosaur]

The flatmate asked you to cook a specific meal that meant you had to source ingredients. You asked him what time he wanted to eat and were told 7. Not that he would be back at 7, that he wanted to eat at 7. Have I got that right?

If so, YANBU and he is an ungrateful twat

[YellowDinosaur]

And I would have dished it up when it was ready and let them eat it cold.

[Dildobaggins]

Why did your veg and meat burn? Surely if its done you just stop cooking it.

[choceyes]

Why was your veg burnt? Can't you just stop cooking it? What a bizzare thread!

[Fakebook]

Why are you going to so much trouble for a flat mate? .

[squeaver]

I think you may need to find some other interests beyond cooking and catering to your flatmate's needs.

[YellowDinosaur]

And to add to my earlier comment, they weren't late because of anything unforseen but because they went to the pub. And you were not only cooking for your flatmate but also his friend at your flatmates request. And they couldn't even be arsed to thank you. And just in case I didn't make the point clearly eighth last thinner you were cooking the meal at the time they had specified not you.

Your flatmate is taking you for granted. Time for a chat I think where you make it clear that you are not going to continue cooking for him if he takes the piss. And that from now on you will tell him what you are cooking and he can like it or lump it.

[VinegarTits]

are you secretly in love with him? thats one hell of a lot of effort to go to for a 'flatmate'

[CreepyLittleBat]

Vinegar I was thinking the same thing. ... Hence the overreaction when he goes to the pub with someone else. He's probably gay anyway.

[QuintessentialShadows]

Not sure whether you are a mug or a doormat!

[ChablisLover]

i would have plated it up and left it to go cold

I assume you have a microwave that they could have heated it up in

but to be fair - they should have turned up on time

but I agree he is taking advantage of you and your good nature - but you did offer to do it though

do you secretly love him? Like vinegartits - a lot of effort for a 'flatmate' - i dont even do that for DH!

[PinkFairyDust]

He approves? He asks to cook a certain recipe?!

He is your FLATMATE!

[marbleslost]

Hmm yes also wondering why you're staying in cooking for a flatmate and why you weren't invited to the pub. All a bit odd.

[WindyandWet]

He said they'd be eating at 7, not back at 7, hence me assuming they'd be back a wee bit before then.

I enjoy cooking, and going to the trouble of making a decent meal. I wouldn't if I was cooking just for me, so cooking for my flatmate is a good excuse to try out new recipes.

The veg burnt as they were being roasted in the oven. I did turn the temp down, but they were still over done.

Yes, I was just very wound up. Don't worry, next time I won't "present" them with anything, I'll just let them know where the bread and beans are and hope they don't burn the kitchen down. Or make sure I'm in the pub when they get back.

[MadBusLadyHauntsTheMetro]

Stop cooking for flatmates. Stop it NOW. Why would you even "present" them with beans on toast? They're not your kids or your partner.

If you're still a student (as mention of "halls" suggests) you've got a fair few years ahead of you in shared accommodation of one sort or another; don't spend it being the Mummy. It is unrewarding and embittering, and everybody takes it for granted. To say nothing of the hideous pattern you are setting yourself up for relationship-wise.