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To not want you to compare having pets to raising children

(160 Posts)
Imsosorryalan Wed 03-Oct-12 14:21:39

Ok, I know some people love their pets enormously but why do some insist that their dog/cat/hamster is JUST like having a small child? It's not, never will be.. End of

Example " little alan wouldn't sit still for a minute, I've barely eaten, cleaned (mnet) all day"
friend " oh yes, i hate it when hairy smelly rover doesn't let me get on either"

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 03-Oct-12 16:31:35

Good point, Weasel.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Wed 03-Oct-12 16:35:00

I can see both sides.

My friend can't work because her dog can't be left for more than 4/5 hours.

At least a child can go to school/playgroup.

GrendelsMum Wed 03-Oct-12 17:04:46

Just follow my example.

Friend says "Little alan wouldn't sit still for a minute, I've barely eaten, cleaned (mnet) all day."

I say, "I've had a wonderful day with my delightful cat who never causes me any extra chores whatsoever. More gin, anyone?"

Latara Wed 03-Oct-12 17:12:34

I would love to TTC & have children, but it's just not possible right now; hopefully one day it will be, although i'm 36 so it's a worry that i won't ever be a mum due to serious health problems.

I currently have a cat i adopted from a rescue centre; i know she's a cat but she's important to me, i love her personality & she makes me laugh; she calms me down & has saved my life by just racing round & being there when the depression gets too much.

I can't join in the endless baby / children / marriage conversations at work except for asking ''how are your children''.
I am interested in my colleagues' families but they prefer to talk to others with similar experiences.
I don't feel i can be friendly to neighbours with children as it would seem odd maybe; & i have no close relatives with children.
The 2 close friends who have children both live over 3 hours' drive away.

I really want children & i pretend to be happy for friends with engagement rings; marriage plans & scan photos; but i do feel empty inside because i've stopped believing it will ever happen to me; it's selfish but there you go.

So please allow me to talk about my cat occasionally.

GrendelsMum Wed 03-Oct-12 17:17:21

Your cat sounds really lovely, Latara - I think that animals can really sense when you're having a bad day and do their best to help.

Mind you, mine is a grumpy so and so who has learnt to open doors but never closes them behind her.

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 03-Oct-12 17:23:09

I think that when some women become mothers they seem to think that having children makes them superior beings in some way, Latara.
I'd happily talk to you about your cat, I have two and a dog.
I also don't get the whole 'how hard it is' comments. I had one, he's 17 now.
TBH it wasn't thathard and still isn't, in fact he's a joy, unlike my stupid dog and my kill all wildlife cats.
Oh, and I was 39 when ds was born, there's still hope for you.

IdCalUaCuntBtUvNtGotTheDepth Wed 03-Oct-12 17:27:03

I can't join in the endless baby / children / marriage conversations at work except for asking ''how are your children'

In fairness Latara those conversations are dul to be people who have children well maybe not to dull people who have children. It's filler conversation and if anyone is not willing to you chat about your cat you're better off not wasting you energy on conversing with them. Oh and best wishes that you get what you want when the time is right

IdCalUaCuntBtUvNtGotTheDepth Wed 03-Oct-12 17:27:51

I think that when some women become mothers they seem to think that having children makes them superior beings in some way,

yes, to that too. Like you should be up for sainthood because you chose to have kids.

GothAnneGeddes Wed 03-Oct-12 17:28:31

I love cats and dogs, but especially cats and I'm currently a cat-less cat person.

I would happily listen to cat and dog stories and oh and ahh over photos of them.

It's the comparison in terms of responsibility I don't like.

I don't think I deserve sainthood for having my children - though I have come close to it on many occasions for not killing the little buggers!

I've had cats, dogs and children - and it is definitely harder having children. For one thing, when I was training the dogs, I had a cage I could leave them in, for reasonably short periods of time, so I could go out on my own, but people would look at me very strangely if I tried that with the boys. Plus the dogs are never going to cost dh and I thousands in maintenance at university. And they don't complain at having the same dry dog food every day for breakfast and supper. And they are tidier than the boys.

The moral of this seems to be that I need to put the boys in kennels permanently, and just keep the dogs!! grin

InvisibleHotPinkWeasel Wed 03-Oct-12 17:33:02

YY to the superiority hormone that is released during childbirth for some.

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 03-Oct-12 17:33:43

I'd be quite happy to chat about your cats too. In fact my mate at work has cats (I used to) and most times I'd much rather talk to her about her cats than talk to some of the others about their DC.

pongysticks Wed 03-Oct-12 17:43:41

CogitoErgoSometimes made me spit coffee Thanks!! visions of a tiny weenie hamster potty.

SoleSource Wed 03-Oct-12 18:02:42

YABU my goldfish is my life.

Hullygully Wed 03-Oct-12 18:53:47

Actually your goldfish is leaving you for me


SoleSource Wed 03-Oct-12 19:08:36


I knew something fishy was going on. That Bob is a cheating bastard sad

Quadrangle Wed 03-Oct-12 19:14:07

I guess you don't have to worry about schools with pets.

IceBergJam Wed 03-Oct-12 19:21:20

Some people are not lucky enough to have children and put all their love in to a pet. It probably irrates or worse, hurts them when they hear people moaning about being kept up all night by a child!

YouMayLogOut Wed 03-Oct-12 19:31:22

And how about "you're infertile? well you could always get a pet!" as if there's any comparison confused

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 03-Oct-12 19:32:55

Quad, my Dog starts school a week today in preparation for him going off to college in December.

I am far more worried about that than I was the dc starting school. When your children get over excited and misbehave you get sympathetic nods from people. When your dog does it people judge.

Hopefully when he gets finishes college he will be ready for joining extra curricular activities.

Canidae Wed 03-Oct-12 19:34:22

Quadrangle - I'm guessing you have never had to pick an obediance school! :D

YABU. Of course they are very different but what is wrong with having a converation that admits the hardships of both?

NameChangeGalore Wed 03-Oct-12 19:34:57

Yanbu. Like to see them breast feed a dog every 20 mins whilst trying to eat their only meal of the day.

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 03-Oct-12 19:41:33

Yep. you're a bloody hero NameChange.hmm

InvisibleHotPinkWeasel Wed 03-Oct-12 19:44:04

Tell me about it. I've opted out and gone for home schooling. Much judging when people ask which school Hully attends. grin

lovebunny Wed 03-Oct-12 19:45:02

all four of my bunnies, whom i love dearly, do not, together, mean as much to me as one hair on the head of my daughter, grandaughter, son-in-law or even of other family members.

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