to agree with DS that it is skanky wearing 'spare' PE kit not washed after previous wearer ..

[Clumsymum]

Background info - DS hates PE, and will do anything to avoid it.

DS's school requires a special track suit for PE (navy with yellow piping down trousers, school name embroidered on back of trakky top). These can't be bought from a shop, have to be ordered by PE teacher - and they are quite expensive.

In the last PE lesson before summer hols, DS fell over and ripped his trakky bottoms. Before this term started I bought a pair of navy joggers as a temporary measure. I told DS to ask the PE teacher what I need to do to order new ones - I double checked, there is nothing on the website or in any of the paperwork to order them.

I got no reply from DS re ordering new ones, but last week - 3 weeks in to term - PE teacher decided DS couldn't wear his temporary ones, and had to wear a pair of trousers out of the 'spares' box, and I need to write a note into school to ask him to order a new pair.

Now, DS didn't really like this, cos the spares don't seem to get washed. I have to say that I'm not chuffed about my darling boy wearing a pair of trakky bottoms covered in someone else's sweat after a triple-period PE lesson.

Today I emailed PE teacher (names changed to protect the innocent)
"Dear Mr Farnsbarns,

Sonny needs new track suit trousers as his were badly torn at the end of last term.

I did tell him to ask you how we can get some new ones in the first week of term, but he hasn?t come back to me with an answer. I have provided him with navy joggers to wear pro-tem, but he tells me these are not acceptable, I?m sorry, I did what I thought best in the circumstances.

Can you let me know how we can get the proper equipment please ? Sonny was unhappy about wearing ?spare? trousers last week, as he believed they had been worn by someone else, and not washed. I have no idea whether this was the case or not, but if he needs to wear ?spare? trousers until we can get new ones for him, could we borrow them so that I can wash them for him? I?m sure we don?t want to give Sonny any more reasons to be unhappy about PE lessons !!

Please let me know what we need to do ASAP

Thanks "

Reply came back

"Hi Mrs Bloggins,
I will order some trousers but it will take a few days.
We have many spares which are regularly used by pupils when they are caught short of kit and most of it is pretty clean so it is not usually a problem. Sonny did not respond well to wearing them and I felt at the time it was as he was trying to delay the lesson. He initially said trousers were too short, then said they were too long and then said he did not like the feel of them! After an exchange of words he wore them and got on with the lesson. I did not want to mention it to you as he turned it around during the session and seemed to enjoy himself. At the end of the session Sonny approached me and apologized for his behavior and said he enjoyed the session. I was very happy with this and hoped it would be a start of things to come. I believe it will only take a few good sessions with Sonny letting his hair down and getting stuck in, to change his outlook on P.E., he may find he can perform a lot better than he thinks and have fun."

Now, I have no problem with the idea that DS MUST do PE - and indeed must do anything reasonably requested by a teacher. I am also hopeful (tho sceptical) that we can change DS's attitude to PE.

But the phrase
"We have many spares which are regularly used by pupils when they are caught short of kit and most of it is pretty clean so it is not usually a problem." bothers me a bit. I wouldn't want to wear a track-suit worn by someone else and described as "pretty clean" - yuk!!

So, would it be unreasonable of me to ask if DS can bring a spare pair of trousers home tomorrow night so I can wash them before his lesson on Thursday (I'll wash them again afterwards), or to ask if he can wear his temporary joggers ?? or should I just shut-up and leave it to school ??

[SassySpice]

Yuck. How old is your DS? If he's a little'un we all know some of them have little pee accidents sometimes, so YANBU because your DS might have been wearing some stinky pissy ones!

[cansu]

I think that given you have now ordered a new pair of trousers he should be ale to wear the navy joggers you have provided him. I would probably phone and say this, not getting into the whole argument about whether the others are clean or not.

[Clumsymum]

he's 13, year 8

[aldiwhore]

If you don't have the kit, its undies or spares... which would you prefer?

I do feel for you, as a mum, and a loather of uniform. I feel for your son too as I hated PE with a passion, just tell him that actually if he'd sorted this sooner he could have avoided wearing crusty spares. This should teach him a little responsibility, even if it is a little 'yak'.

I do not think YABU to request to wash a pair of spares. That seems like a reasonable and grown up compromise to me.

(But I wouldn't bother - as I am evil)

[slartybartfast]

no, i dont really think it is skanky.

[slartybartfast]

whats the worst that could happen?

[Panzee]

The manky kit is encouragement to get your own.

[aldiwhore]

By the way, my sons's PE only comes home once every half term... neither have died from stale sweat poisoning. I have to agree at puberty age, its a little off... BUUUUT maybe its a good way to get the kids to actually remember to order new kit! (And couldn't you sew his ripped ones??)

[diddl]

You both sound a bit precious tbh.

[OneHandFlapping]

Wearing someone else's old trackies may have the yuk factor, but it's not actually going to harm him.

I'd let it go. After all, the new ones are going to be there in a few days.

[WorraLiberty]

Meh! It won't kill him. I think the teacher is right, he was just trying to delay the lesson and picking on any little thing.

Out of interest, why didn't you sew the ripped pair and let him wear them until you got new ones?

[Ragwort]

Can't believe you wrote to complain about having to wear clothes out of lost property - most boys I know don't care what they wear - but they would be furious if mummy wrote a letter like that .

Your son sounds as though he is doing everything possible to avoid PE - just as I did forty years a long time ago. Remind him not to lose/damage his kit.

[Clumsymum]

"no, i dont really think it is skanky.
whats the worst that could happen?"

well what could happen is that he could get summink like ringworm or impetigo. Of course he probably won't, but it still isn't nice

"(And couldn't you sew his ripped ones??) " nope, they were beyond repair.

[Feminine]

What? really op this can't be an issue surely?

Well I guess it must since you posted.

YABU but not in bad way, its just that I don't think this happening would even make any dent on my day, or my sons!

That letter...it was so long and a bit funny! :)

[slartybartfast]

i ddoubt you would get ringworm or impetigo from someone elses clothes. that is probably skin to skin contact.

[slartybartfast]

and qutie unlikely that someone with ringworm or impetigo would be in school let alone using spares.

[minipie]

I don't think it'll kill him

I also suspect he doesn't really care about skankiness and just wanted to get out of PE

[WorraLiberty]

Beyond repair?

Did they actually explode or something?

[Namely]

What a lovely reply from the teacher. Just tell Sonny to bring the trousers home and wash them, he doesn't need to ask. I doubt any teacher in the world would object to PE kit being washed and returned!

[slartybartfast]

can he keep the spares as his own in the meantime?

[complexnumber]

I think the PE teacher's letter was spot on.

He acknowledged your son's reluctance to join the lesson.
He listened to his excuses.
He made a decision that there was no real need for him not to participate. Your son ended up enjoying the lesson.
Your son demonstrated a very high level of maturity by apologising for his initial behaviour.

It sounds like the whole thing was a success, and that the only one getting at all knarky about it is you.

(and wearing someone else's track suit bottoms for a coupe of lessons really is no biggie at all)

[PuppyMonkey]

It won't kill him to wear the spare kit, but it also won't kill anyone if he, shock horror, wears a pair of plain ones rather than the pair with the sodding lines on. It's bloody school PE not the effing Olympic Games, what does it matter what he wears?

[shushpenfold]

Seriously good response from the teacher - time and effort spent in wording very well.

Try to chill if you can as if he's the example of the school as a whole I think you've found a good'un.

[Xnedra]

If your DS didn't want to wear skanky spares he should of pushed the issue of ordering the new pair with the right people and not wait three weeks.
He (and you) didn't push to get a new pair ordered until he had to wear the spares, so I guess it works!

[Squeegle]

I really can't see it's a problem. What's going to happen?