My sister and I have always had a strange relationship. We're very close when we aren't living close together, which works out fine because we live 4 hours away from each other. But as soon as we spend time in close proximity we invariably end up fighting.
My sister has alway been 'babied' by our mum and so she is used to getting her way or uses emotional blackmail to get her way.
It works with my parents, but not with me.
Right now there is a huge amount of tension and stress and I need some objectivity so please help.
It's my sister's wedding on the 27/12 and all the preparations are in place.
A few days ago we had what seemed like a minor disagreement, but which has now blown out into mammoth proportions. I mean really really ugly.
In true form my sister is hysterical, crying and threatening suicide, and being absolutely awful. She won't talk to me or if she does it's to hurl abuse. I have tried to talk to her rationally but im fed up of being screamed at and sworn at. Tbh ive been pushed to my limit and a few times I've reacted to her. I know not good.
I have been helping her plan the more creative parts of the wedding and she is now trying to take over, claiming my ideas as her own, which should, but is bothering me and I can see she is struggling.
My parents are caught in the middle and being put in a really unfair position.
If you've gotten this far thanks you! My aibu is that I feel really uncomfortable going to to wedding under these circumstances.
But if I don't go it will cause a huge rift in the family and if I go I feel that I am compromising my integrity.
So please help me to decide, what do i do?
AIBU?
Desperately need help re wedding
rmm · 20/12/2011 09:40
Agree that you need to give details of what has caused the disagreement. If you are cross with her for wanting to have control of her own wedding and for passing off your ideas as her own, then you are enormously petty and unkind. If there is more to it then do tell. The phrase 'trying to take over' when applied to her own wedding makes me bristle a bit tbh 
.
Let her get on with the flowers thing and all the other arragements. Why would you help someone with their wedding when they hurl abuse at you? Tell everyone who asks that that's why you're not helping anymore as well.
As for threatening suicide. I would have a chat with her, the groom and your parents and suggest that someone who is on the "brink of suicide" shouldn't in that state of mind be going through with the legally binding agreement of a wedding ceremony. Tell her that if she really is thinking of killing herself that it will nullify her wedding vows in the eyes of the law. That she should postpone it until she has undergone assessments and treatments and offer to make the phone calls for her to the doctors/local psychiatric hospital. Tell her that if she insists on going through with it despite being so terribly and seriously menatally ill, when they do the "does anyone object bit" you will stand and say "yes I object, my sis is not of sound mind at the moment and so can not enter into a marriage". Say this all kindly like you are just trying to help because of course she has made a very serious cry for help and it's your job as a sister to help her. 
You 'cannot be by her side' based on a petty squabble that has been blown up out of proportion (by everyone) and some hurtful things said in the heat of the moment? If you feel that way then yes, stay away.
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